Showing posts with label DH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DH. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Wordless Wednesday ~ Hang a gate


No man acquires property without acquiring with it a little arithmetic also.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Still round the corner there may wait, A new road or a secret gate.
J. R. R. Tolkien


We did not choose to be the guardians of the gate, but there is no one else.
Lyndon B. Johnson






♥

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

A crushing weight

...has been some what lifted. (No pun intended)

I am relieved and grateful.
I am okay.
Though , I am still worried.
I just can't put the words together eloquently.
Be forewarned I may ramble.



The mammogram and ultrasound showed I have 4 cysts - 3 in one breast, 1 in another -  
NO suspicious lesions evident ;  Negative  !

* Though it still has the disclaimer down the bottom ...basically not all breast cancers are detected by mammogram.

I am not being a pessimist.
It is a fact I cannot ignore.
I just won't go there.

I am okay but not completely okay.
I have to go back to the GP , I am still sore in one spot.
I'll see what he suggests.

The timing was just crap (as I picked up my scans yesterday I had so much on mind).

Yesterday Monday / today's date 10th May is exactly 12 months.
Etched in my mind as one of the worse days ever.

A year since my husband saw the Oncology Surgeon and received his diagnosis.
A very rare malignant tumour around his right temple/temporal muscle. Most of which was removed April 28th, 2010.

We knew it was a tumour .
We went in hoping it was benign.
It wasn't.
Six straight weeks of radiation therapy followed mid June & through all of July.

Right now ... the last PET scan in February was clear.
We can only live in HOPE.
We do !
We are thankful for the medical team and treatment.
Thankful it was largely covered by medicare and our health fund.
His next followup is Monday.

Last year, I walked past the Breast cancer institute doors with him on his way to his radiation therapy, most days.
Everyone has radiation together. 


I remember seeing a sea of faces, head scarves...harrowing looks and sometimes smiles.

I spoke to a lady for 20 mins one day, she mentioned she was on her last radiation treatment for Breast cancer ; to follow my hubby that day.
It wasn't her day or allocated machine but they arranged it specially as it was a Friday and her last day. (Every 2nd Friday they serviced alternate radiation machines )
She looked maybe '50' .
She was hopeful her treatment was successful ; I will never know how she went.
I prayed for her a few times afterwards.

Another friend of mine, D, now 52 had cancer in her early 40's , she survived but is still not 100%.
D was still on chemo medication till she decided to stop recently because it was messing with her brain functioning she told me. 

Two weeks ago , at an engagement party gathering, I spoke to two close friends of my sister in law , in their early 50's. I know both women casually, both had breast cancer in their 40's and one more recently still undergoing treatment for lymphedema related to her breast cancer.

So many women in their 40's -50's I know personally, affected by breast cancer.
A few years ago a lady at church died aged about 46, leaving her a 5yr old daughter and husband. We were new to the church I didn't know her much at all.

Knowing these gorgeous women had a breast cancer diagnosis , close to my current age ; the reality bites.

Almost , eight years ago, my cousin, J, died of ovarian cancer / bowel cancer at 40 ...her youngest daughter (of 6 children) the age my little boys are now.
J had barely 8 weeks, after diagnosis her cancer was back to kill her , to live.

I honestly didn't know my cousin J, well as an adult she lived too far away and for a long time lived interstate.

It's a long story but her youngest little girl, N, then aged 4 1/2  spent 3 weeks with me.It was only 3 weeks after her mother died. N cried every night and asked to go to her mum constantly ~ in heaven ~ but was still happy enough to go about day to day with us. I cried with her in my arms most nights till she fell asleep. Then she was taken away.

A longer story still ... N  eventually couldn't live with her father, so has lived with a close relative of mine for the last 3 yrs after experiencing too much. I see N regularly now. She is a gorgeous pre- teen. So like her mother.

On Sunday , Mother's day , all I could think about when I saw N, was how her mother must have felt knowing she would never she N, grow up or her 5 other children aged from 9 to 18yrs.
Right about this time was when J would have got that news.
J's last Mother's day , I can't imagine it.
J knew then she was terminal.
Heartbreaking.
It was on my mind while I waited for Monday.

Families everywhere robbed of mothers, sisters, daughters.

Tragically taken too soon.

Families living in fear while they HOPE .
Overwhelmed by challenges, by the road they must travel, as they do their best to carry on normally.
A cr@ptastic detour.

My final point -

Mothers , any women, anyone ... 
If you are ever worried about anything do not delay getting it checked out.  
EVER !


Early detection is the best treatment and best hope.


PS I had a great, new giveaway to announce but BLOGGER was down yesterday and I couldn't post this , so now it will have to wait.


♥ Never miss a post

Friday, 29 April 2011

Grateful for Weddings , RAKs & Babies


A Wedding  ~  it reminds me of how grateful I am for my husband of 21 yrs. We were married in a warehouse with a Christian ceremony, the building stands but it is no longer a church - just a warehouse. 
 
I don't remember our exact vows though I trust we mostly hold true to them and cherish them highly. Our future was before us (like William & Kate's today) a blank slate, waiting to be filled with shared dreams and adventures.A future that was filled with all the hope and promise two young twenty-somethings with the world at their feet could ever imagine...

Incredibly two weeks ago we saw G, a Pastor at the time, who 'talked' us through our wedding vows. G was at DH's niece's enagagement party. Plus our lovely photographer, V who is now his bride. 
(Though this Pastor wasn't the Pastor to sign our official marriage certificate...and a year had me all worried we weren't married - he was stirring us up at our friend's wedding)
 
Every day , I am thankful for my husband's strength and tenacity.  I am grateful today I can pause for a moment to just reflect and recognize all that we do have and enjoy it simply for what it is, without thinking about what it is not.

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." - George Levinger

We've been apart the last 3 days and I've missed him terribly ...and his cups of tea :).

Steve -  a 'VIP' truck driver & random stranger ~ who helped back up the car & caravan today after I found myself down a narrow, bendy street blocked by construction ...DEAD END -  Steve's RAK {random acts of kindness} rescued me.
It wasn't supposed to be a one way street , with cars parked either side . I'd still be there otherwise waiting for hubby to come rescue me after he got home from Dubbo 6hrs later.

Babies ~ the International acclaimed movie preview screening of BABIES is on Sunday May 1, 1pm at Event Cinemas Macquarie see this post. If you are in Sydney Sunday and would like to attend I have 5 free family tickets , you can meet me there.
Today is the last day to enter the Lego City SPACE comp - click the Lego Logo 'brick' on the right.
 

 So, what's making you smile today?
... Please add a link back to Maxibella in your post. Blog hop to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.
  

 ♥ Never miss a post

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Grateful Saturday - Finish lines and Farmer's market

  
#26 / 27 runs of Couch to 5k are completed.
After 9 weeks I will complete my final run Monday.
The finish line is in sight but it won't be the finish because I am in training for the Mother's day classic.
Running is still a challenge for me, though I enjoy it, I ache the day after :).

Last week my hubby almost reached his 'finish line' in regards to a project that has been 10 months long. A huge relief that this hurdle has been cleared.

We went to the Country farmer's markets this morning. I chatted to lots of people about olives , tasted a few goodies and met a neighbour who 'raises' bees & honey. She has lived there 30 yrs and told us a few interesting things about our property.
PS Our olives don't look too good as a few weeks ago- (shriveling up) I think the dry spell has affected them...oh well next year.
 
So, what's making you smile today?
... add your Grateful post below it's a blog hop .Please add a link back to Maxibella in your post. Blog hop to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.

 
 ♥ Never miss a post

Friday, 11 February 2011

Grateful Saturday - Good news


The good news that my husband's PET scan which checks for fast growing cells / cancer activity was clear. It was such a huge relief. Immense. He still has a way to go and more appointments down the track . I'm here for him every step of it.

Celebrating 21 years of marriage - The Good ,The Bad and The Beautiful.

For my Mum (Nanny) who came to babysit so we could go out for dinner on our anniversary, even though she had worked all day and had an early start. The boys love their Nanny so much. I love my mum and I'm so grateful for her.



  ♥ Never miss a post

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Moving on - Good news

I am always a little hesitant announcing good news, it is just the way I am.

However I know that there are so many whose prayers and kind thoughts I have appreciated.
Small comments from a far that bring immeasurable comfort.It’s been such a mammoth 10 months.

The PET scan DH had last week was all clear. We got GOOD news when we saw the Oncologist at Westmead today - except for showing he really did fracture a rib in December when he came off the motorbike at the farm when Dubbo flooded and the farm was inundated with rain and water run off.

No wonder he was so sore. We couldn't get out that night anyway and the next day he had other concerns and soldiered on.I can't believe he struggled through that pain digging and getting vehicle unbogged. 

I never want to come off as comment or attention seeking in the face of DH's cancer journey. We still have miles to go before we can feel reassured .They keep telling us what a rare cancer it is. So I feel many more emotions than I can express here.

I don't portray that my life is perfect, because I promise you – it’s not. I so thankful I finally have a little good news to share…it means we can move on with plans to finalise closure of our business, sell our house, have a holiday road trip and take the long road 'home' to a shack in the country.

Ps : We'll celebrate our 21st Wedding anniversary on Thursday so what better gift.
 ♥ Never miss a post

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

January roundup - no way out but through

As a wise friend said recently there is no way out but through. 
I never got around to a year in review. I couldn't quite put it into words the emotions ...rude awakenings 101 in 2010.

Mostly I could sum it up saying we loved one another and we survived tremendous adversity and overcame hurdles that seemed unfair.Though we came through with a lot of hope.

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?”

I wish I knew then what I know now...I'd have saved myself a lot of worry & grief. It has been almost 12 months since the swelling lump on the side of hubby face was noticed, though the malignant cancer diagnosis wasn't till the end of March.

Anyway onwards with January...

I started something new the Couch to 5 k. I got through the first 4 weeks and I am looking forward to the next 5 and graduation. I never thought I'd do it.

We finally unbogged all the vehicles, tractors & truck at the farm after the extensive flooding in Dubbo in December.

Dubbo was declared a Natural disaster but it pales in comparison to the QLD & VIC floods. There is still a lot of fencing to be repaired and the rogue bull that belongs to a neighbour is still in my FIL's paddocks.

DH has been working feverishly , to close down our business and get rid of 16 yrs+ accumulated "cr@p" and relocate the remainder to the Central West or a nearby storage facility. I spent one day in the office, the only day the boys had back at preschool, so far . I filled 6 large boxes with years of accumulated paperwork & rubbish.I packed 6 boxes for storage and half sorted 2 x 4 drawer filing cabinets.It's still unfinished but requiring urgent completion. 

Relief arrived with the news that the Business who wants to rent our vacant land, where our business currently is, had received Council approval pending a huge list of conditions. It has been 8 long months waiting. It means we can go ahead with our plans to move.  

The Teen got a job, even though it is casual and temporary, it will give him some experience and money.

The Brothers' spend most of January paddling in a $49 blowup pool and chasing the kittehs around. Joel had two fillings last week (didn't I feel the guilt).He was a little champ and wasn't the least bit worried. His other teeth were all in good condition. The dentist marvelled at how cooperative and unfazed he was.

Sam was attacked by a swam of wasps the day before Australia day ( in our frequent absences they have taken up residence all over the front of our house) - including on the bridge of his nose under his glasses. My poor baby screamed but was okay after ice packs and cuddles.

Our three little kittens are now 6 week old mischievous bundles of fluff who have survived the heat and many squishy cuddles [and a slide down the slippery dip ;)]

We got to visit with some very special friends and we had a visit from other special bloggy friends.

I held an awesome giveaway.

I won a custom blog makeover from Sass... stay tuned

I almost had my BAHA review - only 9 months late.It was cancelled again after I trekked all the way into the city. My 1st Bone Anchored Hearing Aid followup assessment was March 2010 but when I got there it was cancelled because the hearing aid needed a very minor repair.Then we got busy with DH's cancer treatment. I forgot. The 2nd appointment was also cancelled after a long hot train hike into the city in early Jan - another minor repair, they posted it back and it's been nothing but a nightmare of loud noises and beeping. The appointment is now WED.

Today has been marked in the calendar for a while, it's DH's PET scan 6 months after the radiation therapy was completed and 8 months after the first PET scan.If you are the praying kind I'd appreciate a word with the man upstairs for a clear scan. 

We won't get any results till next week though when we see the Radiation oncologist /specialist. Of course we are positive , I'm married to an amazing, incredible, beautiful cancer survivor.No matter what...
Once you choose hope, anything's possible.  ~Christopher Reeve
Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. ~ George Iles 

♥ Never miss a post

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Oh so grateful Saturday

  1. We arrived home finally 3.30am Friday morning , 4 days late, after our ordeal in the diastrous flooding and mudding. The Central Western of NSW was one of many declared a Natural Diaster.

    Honestly, I thought it would never end ; at times I was terrified . It stopped being fun after the 2nd day.

    We are ok, battered , bruised and after being eaten alive by mossies at the last hour but HOME.

    Our car is a little damaged but can be repaired. We've learned some expensive lessons. It really capped off our annus horribilis.Sometimes I think 'miracles' are the things that don't happen to you.

  2. ...for messages , comments and emails of support.

  3. ...for special friends in Milthorpe who welcomed us with hugs and a cup of tea at 11pm when we arrived 3 .5 days late for a BBQ (cancelled of course because we were stranded).
    I love that girl.We met when we were on family holidays as 16yr olds.

  4. ... that DH got an appointment the same day with chiropractor to fix his injured shoulder & knee. Apparently dislocated/out of joint.He is in pain , feeling very defeated and with the black dog biting at his heels.

  5. ...for my Mum who came straight away yesterday when I rang for help to get the house in order. She saved me from drowning in a flood of tears of frustration and exhaustion.
    I mainly wanted her to mind the boys while I worked.

    My hub was in no way physically or mentally to help me. I knew it was important for both of us to clear the chaos, unpack and straighten up home.

    MUM came with ingredients to make lunch & dinner .My 12yr neice, M, came to 'play' with the boys. It cheered the boys up too, they love M, who is one of their favourite cousins. Mum helped with the laundry, to straighten up and she made me cups of tea and listened.She made sandwiches and put Beef Goulash in slow cooker for dinner.

    We all made shortbread and things turned around.

  6. ...my roses. They have thrived despite the neglect.Last night, I cut MUM a bunch to say thank you .

    Then I brought 2 roses inside placing them in a vase and old bottle. Sam 4 said "Mum I have to smell them". Then he announced "Mmm delicious I love them" !


  7. ...the Christmas tree and the delight of the 'three' boys decorating it. It's a sorry looking tree really but the boys were so excited about putting it up. I need to buy some more bling today.

  8. ...The Christmas carols are on tonight bring on the Christmas spirit (if the rain stays away).

So, what's making you smile today? Grab Maxabella's I'm Grateful For... button , link your Grateful post !

Now... carry on with Christmas and don't forget to enter my Aussie Christmas giveaway.









I'm also playing weekend rewind at The Pink Fibro my vintage post is here .

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Grateful Saturday - The rain can stop now !


I'm grateful it's
(click the calendar to download it from Tomcat studio)

It's been a tough year dealing with my husband's cancer, his surgery, radiation therapy and the multitude of apprehensive feelings that the C word brings.
That’s when I considered , all things considered we have so much to be grateful for …
It's been raining ...torrential at times this week.
It stopped Thursday, briefly.
Though sustained heavy rainfall in recent days has led to flooding that has caused significant damage to many areas.
The farm is okay we don't have crops to harvest.
We've been home to Sydney and back again.
Friday morning was clearing, though everything was soaked,muddy & slippery.
It didn't start raining till after lunch.
Torrents.

DH also came off his bike yesterday on his way to the other side of the farm to get the tractor, on the way back the tractor got bogged.

I didn't hear my phone ; I was calling him on the UHF radio but something wasn't working right so he didn't hear me nor I him.

DH hurt his right (calf) leg, shoulder & ribs. Then he had a 3km walk back home (to our side of the farm)He wasn't hurt badly, that I can see, no blood, but is very sore.

The creek at the front to the property is well under water - our only way out too.

Baring a long walk like we're going on a bear hunt ... across very soggy paddocks & mud, through neighbours & barbed wire fences to the highway to hitchhike.

I'm grateful
  1. For a dry bed .
  2. Electricity ...to boil my kettle & the shower.
  3. Handme down clothes because Friday the Brothers went through 3-4 sets each and I appreciate all the lovely extras we have now.
  4. The NSW State Emergency Service volunteers for excelling in emergency management. They are the response agency for floods, storms and tsunamis in NSW.

More than 10,000 volunteers give up their time in 228 locations throughout NSW to assist their communities during floods, storms and other emergencies.

For emergency help in floods and storms, call the SES on

132 500


The silver lining ... the Brothers had a ball in the puddles.
They escaped when I went to get my camera and since they were already wet (2 & 3 rd change of clothes for the day) I let them free range.

The rain can stop NOW !!
Join the grateful @Maxabella's

♥ Never miss a post

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Grateful Saturday - Lost & found


  1. It is a beautiful , sunny & breezy Saturday morning , even if hubby woke up @5.30am and I heard him so I woke too. The cuppa in bed was worth it. (I might have to go buy a kite now I've been inspired by Maxabella.)

  2. For the kind words of support after my post on Neurofibromatosis. I'll keep you posted.

  3. We are immensely relieved that my husband's followup appointment with the Surgical Oncologist was good. No signs of tumour regrowth at the site and a PET scan is booked for February 1st.

  4. For lost & found...my missing mobile phone. I discovered I left it at the Dr's surgery, it had fallen behind a chair on Tuesday.
    Wednesday, I searched everywhere at home ...ringing it ...well even though I last remember putting it on #Silent.
    Thursday I rang everywhere I'd been Tuesday afternoon .The Dr's surgery was engaged constantly from 9am, so I rang the chemist, Radiology/scan place, Bunnings...#nothing. The Dr's reception at the family practice found it in the room Thursday morning, (the room wasn't used Wednesday) but couldn't turn it on to see who owned it #FLAT .
    She wondered why no one had called and thought it must have been a child's toy #NOT.

  5. We went to a new residents night @ Old Dubbo Gaol. We haven't technically moved here but we will be.
    It was very interesting with free 'drinks' and nibbles and a great night tour of the Old Gaol. Our little guys especially Sam was the star of the night and had everyone in stitches playing along cheekily with the guard.

  6. A little Farmer's markets, cattle mustering & motorbike riding is on the agenda today so I'll pop back later.
See more Grateful's at Maxabella's place.

♥ Never miss a post

Monday, 1 November 2010

Contentment



There are days ... mostly moments and snippets in my day when deep gratitude seeps in . I breathe , I smell the roses and I know what a good deal I have just to be alive.

Some days I really struggle ...we have so much going on in our lives and my anxiety and stress levels are high. I am very anxious about so many things. I shift my attitude to gratitude

I wanted to write this Saturday...while we were still in our land of contentment but time got away from us and we had places to go people to see at the Day on the Green in Mudgee.
The tickets were a gift from DH's sister & BIL for his birthday on Friday.
Hubby is a long time fan of John Farnham.


I think his sister wanted him to have a special birthday considering the stress of dealing with his cancer and a whole lot of other things happening in our lives.

It was our first time away from our 4 yr olds.
We left them happily at the farm...


in the loving hands of my sister in law & brother in law.
No tears ... but gee I was close to pouring out the tears when they came to meet us in Mudgee.
I just felt content and all my trouble eased a little. Good music and atmosphere does soothe things too.

ConTENtment ...brings gratitude

  1. For my wonderful husband and especially his grace and strength in dealing with his cancer and all the turmoil of late.
  2. For birthday celebrations and special gifts.
  3. For incredible experiences at our day on the Green with 1927, Ross Wilson, Richard Clapton and John (JACK) Farnham.
  4. For special sisters(in law) and BIL ...for reserved seating ;)
  5. For my gorgeous little boys who tell me they love me and they missed me.
  6. For the caravan park for giving us the last spot ...even if it was in & on the edge of the carpark.
  7. For the gorgeous lady behind us at the concert who gave me a back scratch (and showed hubby how).
  8. For teepees and laughter & squeals ringing through the paddocks.
  9. For having choices , for being loved, for warm hugs of reassurance and that good friends are worth more than money in the bank (ok none of the 'artists' sang this but I wanted to slip it in)
  10. For giveaways ...don't forget to leave a comment for my giveaway. I am thankfully blessed by a few I've won lately.
These are the best days ...

What brings you gratitude ?

PS DH even slashed the paddocks at the farm on his birthday ...it looks great.
Sorry, I am a little late ...Maxabella's Grateful Saturday
♥ Never miss a post