Silver Anniversary

At 10.30 we will cross that 'threshold' metaphorically to our silver anniversary.

The years fly. I can barely remember this time 25 yrs ago.

The future was before us, a blank slate, waiting to be filled with shared dreams and adventures.A future that was filled with all the hope and promise two young twenty-somethings with the world at their feet could ever imagine.

When I think of all we have been through together, the brilliant and not so. Life has sometimes thrown us what we least expected but we survived by the grace of God..

Hard times can rock the boat , sink the love.We have certainly had our share of hard times...so the kayaks were a great gift - staying afloat through whatever came our way. We've endured many obstacles and and been through storms of infertility, loss of our daughter and both had cancer.

It's hard to believe that 25 years have gone by since we stood together and our marriage vows were first spoken...how did we get this old ?

I had the crop the ugly concrete out. The wedding album is somewhere.

 
We have survived owner building a home , living in a caravan (x 3), renovations and running our own business and working together for 19 years.We also suffered the loss of our daughter born still.

The strength to stay together in the face of these trials has truly been a gift from God; our faith has held us up tremendously.I give thanks to God.

There are no secrets I can share, no recipes for love , no magic formula for why our relationship has out lasted many others. I don’t think my hubby and I are any better at this spouse/husband/wife gig than others around us.

I can't begin to know or understand what other peoples reasons were, but I’ve no doubt they were good enough reasons. Sometimes there isn't even 'reason' enough. Not for a minute do I consider or judge couples that divorce; that didn’t try hard enough to make it work, or love each other enough, or any other 'enoughs'.

For many people divorce is not the first line of defense. It can happen sometimes when one person is least expecting it. I know that even when a marriage is suffering or plain bad , deciding to end it is painful.

Love is an act of the will, and can be expressed in various degrees. It isn't always truly, madly deeply.
I hope that we have a respite from the struggles and can pause a moment , to just reflect and recognize all that we do have and enjoy it simply for what it is, without thinking about what it is not.

I feel blessed to have found someone I can live with in relative happiness and who can say the same about me or perhaps we just put up with each other faults & all.

Really I wonder if we’ve just been lucky... meeting as we did on a blind date via the radio (pre internet).

I shouldn’t ever take for granted what I have and to always put an effort into showing my long suffering dear husband that I appreciate him. Like many others I can be difficult to live with sometimes...

9125 days

219,000 hours

hundreds of second chances !

 ♥

Wordless Wednesday : You can't win them all ...

"In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last.  You can say, 'I have finished.'  There is a lot of satisfaction in that." 
     --Fred Lebow

....I came in the middle for my age & gender - just saying !



 
                                           
  ♥

Wordless Wednesday ~ A piece of Advice

As Wordless as I can get ...

 


 

I'm taking part in the Mother's Day Classic raising funds for breast cancer research. Every extra dollar raised goes towards vital research into the prevention and cure of breast cancer. I'll be participating or volunteering along with 120,000 Australians nationwide who are making a difference on Mother's Day . You can help me too by donating online  

♥

Love and hope in a Shoe box

Imagine a box filled with treasures beyond your wildest imaginations.
Imagine it bringing hope & a message of love from afar.

when a child opens a shoe box, they’re opening more than a present lovingly prepared just for them. They’re opening up their community to a world of life-changing opportunities.

Over the past week or so I've started  collecting things... we have our boxes ready to assemble and pack . We will choose gifts for boys in 5-9 yrs age. I'm going to do a girl 5-9 too for ~Charlotte~ and maybe a teenage boy.

We have made it a yearly tradition.


It's such a great and easy way to bring smiles to the many children out there that are not as privileged as our own or children in desperate situations . It also teaches my boys about the joy of giving and bringing happiness to others. The Drummer boys enjoy packing and selecting treasures (gifts).


There is 2.5 weeks until the boxes need to be handed in.

The instructions are simple

• SOMETHING TO LOVE
  Teddy bear, doll, soft toy, etc.
• SOMETHING FOR SCHOOL
  Exercise book, pencil case, pens, pencils, colouring pencils, sharpener, eraser, chalk, etc.
• SOMETHING TO WEAR
  T-shirt, shorts, underwear, cap, beanie, sandals, thongs, etc.
• SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH
  Tennis ball, cars, skipping rope, marbles, musical instrument, yo-yo, slinky, finger puppets, wind up torch, etc. (No battery operated items)*
• SOMETHING FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE
  Soap and face washer, toothbrush, hairbrush, comb, hair-clips, scrunchies, etc.(No toothpaste)*
• SOMETHING SPECIAL
  
  Carry bag, sunglasses, bangles, necklaces, craft kits, stickers, note or photo of yourself.

In 2011, teams in Australia and New Zealand delivered 290,437 gift-filled shoe boxes to South East Asia and the South Pacific. This year  the number of shoe boxes given by Australia and New Zealand will reach 3 million! Last year over 8 million children globally received shoe boxes and this season, the number of shoe boxes will reach 100 million given to children in 152 countries since 1993.

Even if you can't fill a box yourself, you can choose to adopt a box and just pay postage $9 for a box of gifts.

Whose life will your shoe box change this year?

Full details are here.

Visit The Operation Christmas Child website to find out more and to find out where to drop your shoeboxes call 1800 684 300. There are drop off points all over Australia. You can now follow your box to it's destination country.

Hurry the last day for Australia is 25th October.

♥

Wordless Wednesday ~ Hugged

Thank you, I feel loved and prayed for beyond measure


♥

WIN 1 OF 3 DOUBLE PASSES TO A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN ~

Time for some happy !

I have a quick giveaway today for a film starring Kate Hudson called A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN set for release 1 March 2012 .

Thanks to Hoyts Distribution I have 3 double passes to giveaway to see the romantic drama starring Kate Hudson, Gael García Bernal, Rosemarie DeWitt, Kathy Bates and Whoopi Goldberg.


A Little Bit of Heaven is a love story set in New Orleans about an irreverent young woman who unexpectedly falls in love with her doctor...( I have had many a DR crush before -  have you )

Marley Corbett (Kate Hudson) is young, beautiful, and wildly funny, but she’s afraid of opening herself up to true love and commitment. Though she uses her humour to prevent matters from getting serious, a life-changing visit to her doctor (Gael Garcia Bernal) sends both of them on an eye-opening adventure of mutual discovery, leading to revelations neither thought possible.

A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN in cinemas March 1. Check out the film trailer http://www.hoytsdistribution.com.au/alittlebitofheaven/

Australia residents Only
Closes 4pm 28th February 2012
Each double pass is valued at $36.00 each - So three winners.
Leave me a comment and tell me anything about  love !

♥

Ok , now ... moving on

The last 5 days have been nerve wracking, to say the least. Last Thursday my husband had another round of followup - CT scans of his head, temporal regions and a chest CT.

I know I live by faith not fear , however it doesn't make us immune to illness, stress, depression and cancer.

We knew the scans were coming and it is only after M has them that the worry sets in like concrete. Hard and heavy.

It has almost been 17 months since M finished his radiation therapy. We planned our road trip around his three monthly appointments. M is well despite troublesome headaches; they attribute mostly to stress.

Today, we were SO relieved that there is no evidence of recurrent disease where his tumour was and no local recurrence in his chest etc. (I love this image a friend posted of fireworks on my Facebook)

As we sat waiting in the newly renamed, Crown Princess Mary Cancer Care Centre - try saying that in one breath , I knew that everyone was there, like us, hoping for good news. A sea of quiet sombre faces.

A young mother was seated nearby bearing tubing, hanging from her clothing about the waist and a dark fluid filled drainage vac/bag. She was there with 2 little boys and her husband.I felt teary.Most of the others were older folks. Lots of bald heads, you try not to look, at as you walk the corridors ... men and women, young and old. No one is immune to the scourge of cancer.

Fortunately we walked out with good news.M queued up to book more appointments for 3 and 6 months time. It is a blessed relief to be moving on and making those appointments in a way.

We then went upstairs to book a different, PET, scan for February. There was a lady in the waiting room who overheard my hub mention his two Drs names to the receptionist booking his appointment. The lady mentioned they were her husband's Drs and he was having his scan right then.

She continued taking , without us really asking much ; He was diagnosed a week ago, on his kidney, the lovely Drs, her nightmares, not sleeping, not eating, starting radiation and then surgery (reverse of what M had because he had surgery first then radiation) and the what if's ... I knew exactly what she meant.

It wasn't a very long chat but at that moment in time, I hope, we communicated HOPE and shared the confidence we had in her husband being in the right hands with same Drs - how amazing was that in a huge hospital like Westmead. 

I am guessing her situation is compounded by being confined to a wheelchair, with several fused fingers/hand on the ends of both her elbows (She had virtually no forearms...and I didn't ask.) She showed us and told us she was chewing her nails off.

Then she said her husband's first name - and it was the same as my husband. Freaky. We told her  ...She laughed and said " So you are a sh*t.head too then ?" We all laughed but I disputed it !

I still wanted to hug her and say "It will be ok " but it didn't seem right plus she was holding her tapestry (I am in awe of how she managed it with her hands/fingers/forearms disability). 

Who am I to know ? how it all will end ? 

Step by step is all I can manage. I gave her my Cancer Care newsletter instead. I realise now I didn't even tell her my name or ask hers ( Sam, my 5yr old would have asked her in a flash,had he been there.)

Was it a chance meeting or what ?

Anyway , I can also say we are moving on. Today the Real Estate rang to say they have leased our home . We have to be out in 3 weeks + 3days. It is being leased to 4 young doctors in their final year of medicine who need to be close to our local hospital.

It's another huge step for us, moving on, though we rather we had just sold - it gives us a safety net to come back to. True be told, I've been sweating on the results to know we could still move to the farm and not have a reason to stay ... if you know what I mean.

Moving on ...

♥

10 ways to add spice to your relationship

10 ways to add spice (sans hot chilli ) to your relationship

1. Start with the little things: a goodbye ~ have  a great day hug and a kiss ! and / or welcome home one !
2. Hand picked flower or small choc on their pillow (or whatever ticks their boxes !)
3. Slip a small card or a note or print a funny / cheeky joke to leave in their lunchbox (if you make it) or sneak something into the car...or under the windscreen wipers or tied to antenna...be creative or a random text message if they don't do home made lunches.
4. Leave a small treat/gift in their lunchbox or a homemade voucher for something - back massage , promise to wash the car together, neck rub...(or #2 whatever ticks their boxes !)
5. Set aside time for each other, every day, even 5 -10  mins 'face time'
6. Check out free at home or  $30 date night activities (even stay at home ones can be fun) - schedule them regularly so you both know (ok not so you dread it like the dentist) - plan for a babysitter every so often. (hundreds of ideas here that will get you on the naughty list)
7. Be alert to each other's moods and feelings ...make a conscious effort to honour and comfort them when they are experiencing tough days or times. (Even if it kills you to be extra sweet !)
8. Switch off i things and technology & TV one night a week for an early night or #5 & #6 ! *
9. Ask and remember the bigger things:  their hopes, their dreams, their goals - (write them down) - and support endeavours to change habits or make lifestyle changes (lose weight, stop smoking).
10. Keep your relationship hawt, young and fresh by doing things differently and surprising them when they least expect it. At least once a week !!!

Ps * If all else fails hide the remote !

It takes a little hard work sometimes, but you know ... I wouldn't have it any other way.

'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.' Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

IBOT with Jess

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The candle ~ Wave of light

Charlotte was cradled in my womb for six months, briefly in our arms and forever in our hearts. Here is her name in the sand ...I've come to WA to see this beach.

It is estimated 1 out every 4 Australian women has lost a baby at some stage; most of us know someone who has.

15th October seeks to honour these babies in a collaborative wave of light. As today is recognised as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  

I am quietly grateful for all the candles, though I rather there were less ...it means we are not alone ! 
I am grateful for remembrance !

Light a candle at 7pm for one hour to create a worldwide wave of light for 24hrs. 
Across the globe in all time zones - candles will burn brightly in memory of babies too precious for this earth.

" There is no greater tragedy in life than the loss of a child.Unfortunately, because our babies live only within our wombs or they live outside of the womb for a short period of time, an uneducated society often minimizes the importance of their short lives and, in turn, our grief is trivialized.” Clair Baca

How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

If you have lost a baby (or grand-baby or sibling) you are not alone. My heart goes out to anyone reading this today who has said goodbye to a precious baby all too soon.  

It is my sincere wish that those touched by the loss of a baby are well supported, able to process their loss and hopeful for the future...(not my words but heartfelt wish)

I am sorry for your loss. I know words cannot ease your pain nothing ever will but tonight at 7pm I will light a candle in memory of our babies. Please pass the message along , join in where ever you are.

A quiet moment for lighting a candle in memory of your baby . . .

"Dear baby of mine, please see this light as a symbol of our never-ending love for you. Please understand that this love knows no limits or bounds; it conquers even the hold of death. Let this light shine in memory of our love for you, in celebration of the life we shared together, however brief, and in the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day. We feel your spirit with us even now, gently guiding and strengthening us. With this light we will remember the true gifts of the season: memories of joys past, hope for present peace and love to last a lifetime. We will forever feel your presence and love you always."

PILARI are asking people to sign their petition to have it fully recognised in Australia.

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CYC ~ Record

Besides photos , one of my favourite ways to record my boys was to interview them. I have also written letters to them ...time is my enemy.

I am joining in with Naomi @ Seven Cherubs Cherish your cherubs project - the first is RECORD
This morning I had a little photo session. The sun was shining , now is going over all grey.

Sam

I loved it when you used to sneak into my bed for a cuddle at night and lifted my arm to cradle you ...now Daddy gets that privilege.
I love that you blow kisses off your hand to people waving goodbye and smile always ...
I love that you are so helpful and love to help unpack the dishwasher
I love that you always want to help me do things even dressing up like a fairy
I love that you love to bake with me especially cooking things where you can lick the spoons & bowls

I love listening to you laugh out loud while jumping on the trampoline
I love that you always draw pictures of people smiling and with bellybuttons ...the OT said she hasn't seen children draw belly buttons on before.
I love playing Angry birds in bed with you.
I love that you sing and dance,  and are always cheerful.

I love your squishy cuddles and wet raspberries on my neck.
I love that you love reading books with me.
I know you love lego, playdough, watching DVD's and Octanauts (all ABC2{4} actually)

I know you are good at climbing on the bench to get into the cupboards .
You love red apples, pink chips [salt'n'vinegar] and strawberries ...and yes I did buy you a banana for your birthday ! remember.
(here is his Interview from earlier this year)

Sam , I love you.........♥


Joel

I loved it when you used to sneak into Daddy's side of the bed for a cuddle at night , sometimes I get turn. Last night was the first time in a while and I love the way you cuddled in close to me.
I love that you are so friendly and give big jump on you hugs
I love that you always want to help Daddy do things 
I love that you love to cook with me and try to crack the eggs
I love that you are never far away when it is time to lick the spoons & bowls.

I love listening to you squee and laugh while jumping on the trampoline
I love that you always draw pictures of people with happy faces
I love you listening to my music on my ipod
I love that you have so many ideas and are always quick with answers "how about we ..."

I love your squishy cuddles and 'love you to moon and back'
I know you love lego, playdough, watching DVD's and Octanauts (all ABC2{4} actually).
I know you love filling bags, backpacks anything with treasures .  You love your treasures .
I know you too are good at climbing on the bench to get into the cupboards .
You have always always loved your food and vegetables.You love green apples, blue chips [plain] and strawberries ...and yes I did bought you a banana for your birthday too ! remember.
(here is Joel's interview)

Joel , I love you.........♥

 
Did I mention you both love cars, trucks , motorbike riding with Daddy and tractors. The farm is one of your favourite places and you are both MUD magnets and attracted to water and mess !

I love that you even though you can fight fiercely you love each other (and adore your big brother)and are the best companions for each other ...thanks for the blogging time I get.



Update - almost forgot Joel LOVES rope, his most fave thing ever and he just showed me he can tie shoelaces.
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Thankful for MY family

Life, loss, grief and love intertwined the last week and I am forever thankful for the family into which I was born.

 

Though I am and /or not so thankful really to be reminded at how fragile life is , after attending the funeral of an Aunt [64], seeing her husband's grave [she is beside him now -who passed away 20 yrs ago] and seeing photo of her granddaughter's grave site who passed away from SID's at 5 .5 months[ 22 yrs ago] - freshly decorated grave site.

SJ was my cousin's daughter (he & I are the same age- started a family at 19-20 and still has children almost as young as mine).Two of his other, older girls went to their sister's grave [same cemetery] , left flowers and then posted a photo to FB. My sister showed me.

It was bittersweet ; also for their mother now in WA  I can imagine.

My grief was multiplied by anniversaries remembered in August of my own precious little angel (in 2 wks) and my father's in 8 days. It feels like forever since I last saw my Dad [6yrs] I remember his love very clearly . 

I've read a few poignant posts and comments about experiences of loss this week. It sucks every emotion from you. Death is the final separation from loved ones.

I am so VERY thankful for my upbringing , the stability of my parents and my immediate family and extended family now (DH's included)

Two of my cousins did not attend their mother's funeral, nor one brother [my uncle]- each for their own complicated reasons. That was sad. The 3 male sons [cousins] present wept openly for the loss of their mother. Tears slid down my face, for their loss too.

After the funeral and burial  - my mother, brother, sister and 3 uncles went to have a 'drink' together at a near by local pub; not with the others. Very complicated but we chose to share an hour with the one uncle who wouldn't go elsewhere... the wake was kind of casual and being held outdoors. 

It was the right thing for us all in a way. It was a quiet venue, we got to chat with our uncles rarely seen (maybe only at funerals - WHY ?) and chat, new phone numbers were exchanged. Promises were made not to wait till the next funeral to organise a family get together.

My Dad had a very dysfunctional upbringing for some of his childhood and adolescence. Later some of his siblings weren't able to escape their 'difficult'  childhoods. Their children (some of my cousins) have also had a different and more difficult life than my siblings or I. 

My father , the 3rd brother /son was the glue who held some of his siblings [6 of them] together. He helped them financially (at times), he housed them in our home with their children (at times) or alone. Dad supported them and stuck by no matter what. He made sure they stayed in touch. He was also very close to both his divorced parents. As children we saw about 8 of my 16 cousins regularly - now it's never bare funerals (2 adult cousins deceased). 

One year ( almost to the date - August 26th,) before he passed away, Dad organised a family get together - so as a funeral need not be the next reason he said. As my grandmother and a cousin had passed the previous year.

Through FB I have contact with a few cousins. Admittedly, we lead different and busy lives Some are spread far and wide across Australia now.

Though we don't always see eye to eye on everything,  I know my mother and 2 siblings (+ spouses) will always be there for us. THANKFUL is an understatement.

I am joining with Kate's Thankful Thursday - what are you feeling thankful for ?

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Grateful Saturday - Small things

 

Kisses & hugs from small boys even when they ask for more kisses to delay bedtime. I hope they never stop wanting my kisses.

 

Flowers from a small boy , be they a fistful of yellow top 'flower' weed or roses ripped off my roses bushes.

My Husband who despite having a sweltering hot week working outside, 2 days away from home and where lots of things didn't go as planned still came up with spontaneous plan to for a ...

Visit with friends, my bestie for 28yrs after we met as teenagers on holidays. Her girl kiddos are 4, 5.5  & 8 .The kids will have a ball too.  

Ps Would still appreciate prayers for Tuesday.

So, what's making you smile today?
... add your Grateful post below it's a blog hop .Please add a link back to Maxibella in your post. Blog hop to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine

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So this was Christmas ...

We had a good day Christmas day, all in all, until my Mother in law fell and broke her wrist. She was with us .She didn't tell anyone for a while because she didn't want a fuss .

The pain increased and she told my Dh she knew it was a fracture -it had started to swell.My Dh took her to the casualty at a nearby hospital. Surprisingly she was seen and had a xray within 2.5hrs.They applied a temporary cast/bandage but because it was a bad break it needed surgery.

She left with an appointment to return to another hospital to see an Orphopedic surgeon the next morning (Boxing day).It did not go as planned.

Unfortunately due to the holiday closures of operating theatres and other emergencies she had till wait until this morning for surgery to have it reset under a general anaesthetic.

So she missed the Boxing day family get together and sat in hospital for 2 days waiting.That is why they called them 'patient'.

---

S & J enjoyed the festivities but mostly they loved running around and playing with all their cousins.They finally got the hang of unwrapping gifts and were thrilled with the new toys. We didn't go overboard though.

---

On a much sadder note I read today Emilie Lemmons passed away in her sleep on Christmas Eve.

When I wrote about Emilie last week I had no idea her passing would be so soon.Maybe she didn't know either. I did not know her at all except through her blog but I will remember her final words of wisdom and her last favourite quote.

"And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth."

— Raymond Carver

She is now free from pain and suffering but how incredibly hard it will be for her husband and two small sons.

As I wrote last week ....The message I will take away is life is far too precious and we should ....just live intensely in the present, absorbing and embracing life as it happens. I'll let the superficial things in life go and stop sweating the small stuff. In the end will they matter.

Carpe Diem ... Today and always I will be thankful beyond measure and vow to seize every day that I can to Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of my heart!


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Stop and smell the roses ...

Come on a tour of my rose garden ...it is just over 4 years old.
Monday, I noticed every single rose was blooming beautifully. They made my heart sing.

Charlotte Rose Standard

Dearest

Mother's Love

Children's Rose

My Angel
Iceberg

Diana Princess of Wales

Peace Rose

Remember Me

Lagerfield

Charlotte Rose Bush

Inspecting pushing my stone teddy and dog statues in the wishing well (dry)

PS The odd shoes - on the same feet - completely their doing ... Cross my heart ! I found them in garden this way.They are smarter than me because I had no shoes on and got a huge thorn in my foot.

The Love seat
Throwing tiny rocks they collected in the nappy sacs LOL.

I planned to post earlier this week ...but spent over 30 mins digging a rose thorn out of foot instead.
We have more than 13 roses but the light was bright . I have lots of red roses too (5 different ones just didn't photograph well).

It's been raining here for 2 days . The sun is shining today.I wanted to post this yesterday.Yesterday, was the my dear Toolman's birthday.I planned to post this ...but life , spring cleaning, de-cluttering and keeping up with the Brothers just kept me way too busy.

Come Rain,Come Shine

Darling, we have now celebrated 19 birthdays together through the good and the bad times. I have known you almost half my life.

We have shared the joy of success, a home and 4 children. While it hasn't always come easy we have shared many good things in life as well as enduring the loss of loved ones.

I hope this next year is going to be a great one for you and I cannot imagine anyone else that I would want to spend this life with. You are my heart - even though we have had some hard times of late.

I hope that we all have a respite from the struggles and can pause a moment or maybe even three, to just reflect and recognize all that we do have and enjoy it simply for what it is, without thinking about what it is not.

You are a good and responsible man, the sort of fellow anyone can always call on for help. Where you can possibly find a way to help, you will... beyond measure. Even at the expense of physical and emotional pain.

You work very hard for our family ... though I wish you didn't have to work so hard .You amaze me with your strength and tenacity.Our sons are going to be incredible Dads someday, owed mostly to your spirit and love.

I saw the look in your eyes at our newly born children.The incredible awe and wonder that a newborn (or two) inspires and the anguish and disbelief that stillbirth brings.When D, and then the Brothers arrived neither us of knew what to expect but you have most definitely risen to the challenge and have every day since...

Here’s to the year ahead with lots of fun, more laughs and love, less arguments and more making out up! Come rain, come shine I will love you forever and beyond measure.

♥

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