
13 RULES OF CHOCOLATE ~ Death by Chocolate
- If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
- Chocolate covered raisins, sultanas, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
- The problem: How to get 1kg (2 pounds) of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the car park.
- Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.
- If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
- If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?
- Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.
- Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
- Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
- A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn’t that handy?
- If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate… what’s wrong with you?
- If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can’t let that happen, can you?
- Special Rules for Men on use of chocolate ~cut and keep handy
~ The Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his
own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a
driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
I received these rules by email and they are well circulated . Original Author(s) unknown ...
... if you are still with me
WARNING : 'Death' by Chocolates
You will never look at a chocolate the same way again
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