Wellness and Chasing your dreams {Giveaway ~ RedBalloon for Mother's day}

This post is sponsored by Wellwoman and Digital Parents Collective

Many of life's great issues receive the same treatment .We size up the situation, we sift through evidence, weigh things in the balance and respond to the change in circumstances as best we can.

When you think about cancer and what you would do if you had to face that trauma - burying your head in the sand isn't very productive.

The inevitable question we ask is how do I stay well - physically , emotionally and financially ? Without question , after getting through my initial treatment , financial security has been one of our biggest concerns since my breast cancer diagnosis.

Australia has one of the best healthcare systems but there were many out of pocket costs and if you want your choice of surgeon you can expect to pay more.

Then how do you cope with the financial burden of maintaining your lifestyle,  ensuring your home life runs smoothly without too much disruption. It isn't easy to dismiss the little things like childcare, getting the kids to school, preparing meals - let alone the bigger issues like the mortgage or paying the rent.

Wellwoman, by AIG Direct, is a newly launched cancer insurance product in Australia for women aged 18- 69yrs - to assist in maintaining a woman's lifestyle as she focuses her energies on recovery.

When you are diagnosed with any of the seven cancers specific to women - Breast cancer, Ovarian cancer, Cervical cancer, Cancer of the uterus, vagina, vulva or fallopian tubes. Wellwoman - cover pays a one-off, lump sum payment of between $25,000 and $45,000 after a confirmed diagnosis, Subject to the exclusions and conditions in the policy. Of course if you have already had cancer then this may not be for you. 

Wellwoman insurance is designed as a one off measure of support should a woman face a female specific cancer diagnosis and is not intended to replace health or life insurance.

This leaves you to focus on your treatment and recovery ; things that matter most - steadiness and stability.The payment can be used for anything you choose e.g. a holiday or mortgage repayments or for you to chase your dreams.

My next favouite quote at moment ...unknown author , my photo !

 I am ready to chase my dream again and put my energy into my most important goals . I have the determination to focus on wellness and happiness . I need to put some other goals on hold for now ...like running a half marathon.

For now, I've picked a few goals and I'm focusing on those that make me feel a well woman like ...exercising, feeling sand between my toes and even enjoying a massage !

RedBalloon

Now I get to offer one lucky reader the chance to win a Day Spa treatment from RedBalloon – a One Hour Full body and Mind Massage (valued at $110 - available in Australia nationally). Just in time for Mother's Day.

Tell me what makes you feel like a well woman ?

Click here to see the full terms and conditions of this giveaway - the closing date of my giveaway has been extended until  14th May 11.59pm.

Grateful for Square Eyes

I am grateful for the heartache, headaches and hilarity in our daily lives. Sometimes (especially with teenagers) it isn't easy but it is still enriching and worth every minute.

I have lived through the deepest sadness of losing a child.I know God had a reason, I am still working that one out. I am grateful for her brief life, though it wasn't the joy we all imagine when we first see those two little lines.

I am grateful for my two little boys (and the bigger one).I find that the hardest part is looking at my little boys wondering would they be here if my little girl was.

I am grateful IVF gave us the chance to 'birth' living children. Sadly not everyone can share the joys children bring.
 

Playing a trick on me ... Joel comes to announce Sam has square eyes from to much TV, then says BIG YELLOW square eyes ...I paid no attention ...then he lead 'blind' Sam to me !

I am grateful for my children because they give me a reason to clean smile, laugh, live and play (and bake gingerbread people). 

I pray the 'great' 'full' ness doesn't diminish and on days when I feel jaded I can focus on all these grateful things.

I am grateful that no matter how bad things seem and when they press all my buttons and I lose my cool -  my precious children are forgiving and still kiss & hug me goodnight.

(The 5 drops from the other day ...they rushed out with umbrellas to dance in the rain. 

Yesterday, we got 18mm)

 I am most grateful for the 18mm rain we got last night and hopefully it will be followed by more rain.

This year I'm trying to consciously seek out moments of grateful, be it the mundane or a little bit of magic in my own life .

What are you grateful for today ?

 ♥

Reflections ... in the mirror

On Thursday especially, I take a moment to reflect on the past week.

I can't remember where I found this ...what do you notice ?

What were my up or down moments ?

What comes to mind ? 

I don't want this to just be a cancer blog, while the 'journey' is very much all consuming right now it is just a part of my life. I don't want pity or sympathy , though I appreciate genuine support and your encouraging comments.

I've had a good week this week. Three weeks on the roller-coaster rolls around so quickly and my next Chemo cycle #4 is tomorrow. It is the last of Chemotherapy round #1, and the last chemo I will have in Sydney. I know what to expect and that makes it easier - the next week will be hard but I'll get through to the other side in a week. I start round #2 in 3-4 weeks at my local Cancer Care Centre.

Today, I have a review with the oncologist {or I think the registrar}. I will ask about my health supplements and a few other things I have on my mind.

I've been doing an immense amount of reading about building yourself up and moving forward , not dwelling on the negative; about taking chances and using my diagnosis to build a better life for myself.

It's overwhelming and one book actually tells you to stop and take a break at the end of some chapters. Another recommends you don't do it all at once.

I am thankful that I have choices and if I want to do this, I need to 'bust' my a s s to get it.

Tomorrow morning, Lily will measure me up for my wooden legs breast prostheses and new bras. I am looking forward to that. I will also ask her about specialised swimming costumes.



I still struggle with my self-image and looking in mirror definitely brings me down. I am losing my eye lashes and my bushy brows are thinning ...I should be a little grateful for that. I tell myself it is temporary and it is.

I went to a blog event Tuesday . I nearly didn't go because I felt so ugly awkward and I had nothing right to wear. I wanted to wear my red hat but I knew the white light reflecting from the back of my head would be blinding. ;) I wore a beanie instead :( - I couldn't risk getting sunburned, my head hasn't seen the sun there since I was a bald 2 yr old.

I am glad I went because I really enjoyed the day with my sons and nephew . I got to say hi and chat to blogging friends and meet up briefly with Lani from Western Australia, and another Sydney friend.

What are you thankful for this week ?


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The Good, the bad , the ugly

I lied - there is no good ?

Well , actually it is good ...

1. to be home in tree change.
2. Mia, the cat is happy to be home.
3. Dashi is happy to have a canine buddy - Obi (My 19 yr old's puppy ...who is probably not going to be happy tomorrow when he gets neutered).
4. to see hubby starting on a little project to make our shed more comfortable - a lounging room for me ( 'cause my Internet wifi won't work in the bedroom and our kitchen/family area is too small)
5. the noisy little drummers go back to school tomorrow (after a month off) and that makes ME them happy. They were so excited when we bumped into their teacher Ms W at the shops on Saturday.

The Bad -

1. It has taken me five days to post again, everything feels so different.
2. I have so much to catch up on and giveaway winners to draw and notify ...
3. I have many people to thank ; for sending cards, gifts and good wishes. I will  if I haven't yet !
4. It is harder than I thought I was going to be ...yes I still have my pain in asside drain.
5. I have so many inappropriate thoughts right now I can't begin to write them down.

The Ugly -

1. I feel melodramatic me writing this post.
2. I know Chemotherapy will save my life , in the long term , but that doesn't mean I like it.
3. I wasn't expecting the treatment , a poisonous cocktail of 3 (4) intravenous treatment regimes to last for a minimum of  15 -16 months ...so most of way through 2013. (Then another oral medication for 5 years.). I'll write more about this later, maybe.
4. I feel like I am heading into dangerous territory with no comfortable place to be.
5. I am not looking forward to being BALD , it will totally announce to everyone I have cancer ! I feel most for the impact on my little boys, at school, and the changes it will bring.

A lovely blogging friend, Lilly, sent me this quote today , by Jai Pausch - Lilly said she hangs onto this when times are tough.

- "Even though I may not know what the future holds, I should not give in to the fear of the unknown. I have to trust, I have to have faith."  Jai Pausch

In other news, I started my vision board today ...



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When push comes to shove

I saw my Breast Cancer Surgeon on Tuesday , as I already knew , he has referred me for Chemotherapy. I have my appointment to see the medical Oncologist next week at the Cancer Care Centre.

He also confirmed the mastectomy was the best decision because along with the small area of invasive cancer and Ductal Carcinoma in situ (DCIS) - I had pre-cancerous changes right up to my nipple.
The right boob was my choice and it was clear.
I am thankful for right decisions and that I don't need radiation therapy.

My drain remains in situ, till the drainage decreases to under 30mls per day (90-100ml atm). It is uncomfortable and painful at times but much better than the alternative - a large needle being inserted to syringe off (out) the site if it starts to swell. I have good pain relief and it doesn't stop me doing most of things I want to do, except running which is the only thing I want to get back into. Pity about the all the housework I'm just busting to do, too ;-).

What I wasn't expecting : is that I am in 15-20% of women HER2 Positive - which means I need an additional , different type of targeted therapy ; Herceptin - after my 4-6 cycles of chemotherapy is completed ...every three weeks for a year . Hopefully, the infusions can be scheduled with minimal interruptions to normal life.Whatever it takes !

It is extra insurance which allegedly keeps the cancer cells from growing, especially targeted towards them and not my normal cells. I'll consult Dr Google find out more about it next week I am sure.

"Knowledge is the antidote for fear." Ralph Waldo Emerson



I am in it for the long haul and I am ready to take the Stand (lyrics) . I have an appointment to have a Port-a-cath inserted next Wednesday. My Surgeon said it was a good idea and referred me to an experienced Interventional Radiologist.

It means I can use my right hand - therefore iPad - whilst I'm having chemo ... for this I am very thankful . As they can only , always, use my right arm due the surgery to remove my left axillary lymph nodes. It also means less problems for accessing veins for chemo infusions and blood tests.

This week, I had the chance to meet up with the gorgeous  Deb from Bright and Precious , she is delightful. I am so thankful, Deb is so inspirational and because her vision board idea has given me light and inspiration.



Oh, did I tell you how thankful I am to home for a few days xox. Everything is a glorious mess still because we left in a hurry but home sweet home.


What are you thankful for this week ?

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Irrevocable Hands of kindness

This week has been one of my best ever .
I've been overwhelmed, in a good way, by messages of love and support, flowers and chocolates as well as a huge parcel of very thoughtful gifts from dear friends in the blogging community.
I will get around to thanking you properly soon , I am so grateful.

There aren't enough words to thank you all personally.
I've had emails from strangers, or rather - friends I haven't met yet , women who are breast cancer survivors or currently undergoing treatment, offering to answer questions or just have a chat.
Kind, gentle messages across social media.

Countless messages assuring me of prayers, friends offering practical support and of course our families giving us TLC the last 2 weeks.
My husband has been my rock and so caring, under immense stress.
I've been embraced from Dublin to NZ and everywhere in between.
I wish everyone the same measure of support and kindness when they go through difficult periods.


I know it has made me feel stronger , evoking piece of mind and filling my hope tank to the brim.

I have some great quotes and images for my vision board too.
I'm banking on laughter too because have you noticed that when you laugh really hard, you stop thinking about pain, your worries and ... I am sure you can think of more.
People have shared funny images and inspiration on Facebook too.


I feel good in myself. I feel strong , fit and healthy.
I still have one drain in situ, beneath my left axilla (armpit) giving me pain , though the Endone is covering the pain relief well. It's there for a reason probably till Tuesday when I see my surgeon.
My short hair is growing on me - such a difference after 17-18 yrs of longish hair.
Now, I feel daring but can't decide what colour ?

This weekend my littliest miracles will celebrate another trip around the sun. I can't believe - SIX !
They had so many BIG plans to celebrate with their school friends and have been writing invitations for months.
I feel a little disappointment for them. We shall celebrate no less- with cake , fairy bread, chocolate crackles and lollies with their cousins and maybe a few friends . The school party might wait till term 3 commences.

So tell me how kindness touched you this week or share how you lightened the load for someone else ?

 ♥