Monday, 16 July 2012

The Good, the bad , the ugly

I lied - there is no good ?


Well , actually it is good ...
  1. to be home in tree change.
  2. Mia, the cat is happy to be home.
  3. Dashi is happy to have a canine buddy - Obi (My 19 yr old's puppy ...who is probably not going to be happy tomorrow when he gets neutered).
  4. to see hubby starting on a little project to make our shed more comfortable - a lounging room for me ( 'cause my Internet wifi won't work in the bedroom and our kitchen/family area is too small)
  5. the noisy little drummers go back to school tomorrow (after a month off) and that makes ME them happy. They were so excited when we bumped into their teacher Ms W at the shops on Saturday.
The Bad -
  1. It has taken me five days to post again, everything feels so different.
  2. I have so much to catch up on and giveaway winners to draw and notify ...
  3. I have many people to thank ; for sending cards, gifts and good wishes. I will  if I haven't yet !
  4. It is harder than I thought I was going to be ...yes I still have my pain in asside drain.
  5. I have so many inappropriate thoughts right now I can't begin to write them down.
    The Ugly -
    1. I feel melodramatic me writing this post.
    2. I know Chemotherapy will save my life , in the long term , but that doesn't mean I like it.
    3. I wasn't expecting the treatment , a poisonous cocktail of 3 (4) intravenous treatment regimes to last for a minimum of  15 -16 months ...so most of way through 2013. (Then another oral medication for 5 years.). I'll write more about this later, maybe.
    4. I feel like I am heading into dangerous territory with no comfortable place to be.
    5. I am not looking forward to being BALD , it will totally announce to everyone I have cancer ! I feel most for the impact on my little boys, at school, and the changes it will bring.
    A lovely blogging friend, Lilly, sent me this quote today , by Jai Pausch - Lilly said she hangs onto this when times are tough.

    - "Even though I may not know what the future holds, I should not give in to the fear of the unknown. I have to trust, I have to have faith."  Jai Pausch
    In other news, I started my vision board today ...



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    Posted by ♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys at 23:03
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    Denyse Whelan's avatar

    Denyse Whelan · 674 weeks ago

    You popped into my reader when it was empty! So here I am 6 hours from your place but connecting from my iPad in bed. Trish, please don't think you "have" or "must" or "should" any more. Life has just taken care of the next 12-18 months with the journey that is yet to start already scaring the £%## out of you.
    So, new rule.
    Just one.
    Trish decides what will and won't be.
    That's it.
    Forget Thank you notes & cards. Messages have been sent & given and for me I know that is all I need!
    Concentrate in getting what you WANT & NEED now. Set up the place of solitude and sanctuary while you can. I'm glad that hub is understanding you need this space with WiFi.
    Whatever it takes you have it in spades.... Just remember though. You are at the top of the family queue ...let the fight begin. Win this war against the Big C. Love and strength to you. Denyse xxx
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    Lisa Jay · 674 weeks ago

    You are allowed to feel this way. They are your feelings to feel. I appreciate your honesty.
    When my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 yrs ago I remember she was not happy about taking the oral medication for 5 years. It seemed such a long time. Now we can't believe how fast the 5 years went. Time does fly. It does pass. You'll make it through. I feel for you with your description of feeling like you are heading somewhere with no comfortable place to be. I hope that feeling eases & you find comfort as you travel the journey.
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    Tracey · 674 weeks ago

    You have every right to feel melodramatic!
    Stay strong Trish....my thoughts are with you
    xx
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    Penny · 674 weeks ago

    I don't know what to say that no one has said before so I'm sending a big strong hug instead.
    1 reply · active 674 weeks ago
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    Cassandra · 674 weeks ago

    I don't think you're being melodramatic by any means. I can't imagine what it's like to be in your shoes right now and I don't really know what to say, as nothing I do say is going to make it better, but I do send you love and hugs. Thank you for being so honest and open about this new unexpected path that your life is now travelling down xo
    1 reply · active 674 weeks ago
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    Bec · 674 weeks ago

    I'm thinking of you Trish - you and your family have been through so much. I'm glad you have managed to find some good in your life.
    1 reply · active 674 weeks ago
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    Yvette DTlilsquirts · 674 weeks ago

    you are always in our prayers.. sending lots of hugs xx
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    Chrissie · 674 weeks ago

    I haven't commented on your posts before, as I was never able to find the right words and unsure what to say. I still am. I'm sure you have heard all the kind words so all I will say is this. It takes a strong woman to cope with this. You are certainly in everyone's prayers and I wish you all the strength in the world to get through. xx
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    Grace · 674 weeks ago

    Oh, Trish. You're not being melodramatic at all. You've been so brave, showing amazing strength (the stuff that you always had before all of this happened) and your faith is inspiring.
    I can't wait to hear about your vision board. (That's if you want to write about it, of course!)
    I agree with Denyse - don't worry about the thank you cards. Just keep doing what you're doing.
    Sending you love and prayers xxx
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    UsefulBox 98p · 674 weeks ago

    Trish. Agree with Denyse. No-one is going to be expecting thank you cards. Look after yourself. Hope you can use the time when the Drummer Boys are at school for some r + r. Hugs and prayers.
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    Rachel · 674 weeks ago

    I bet it's hard. I bet it really really sucks.
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    Becky · 674 weeks ago

    I see no melodrama here, Trish. You're so allowed to feel these things. Give yourself permission to get through this time, feeling what you feel. And I totally agree with Denyse. There is no 'shoulds' or 'musts' do only what is right for you, don't exhaust yourself thinking about what someone else might expect from you. You're in my thoughts and prayers x
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    justabendintheroad 66p · 674 weeks ago

    I think if anyone is allowed to be melodramatic it would most certainly be you (and anyone else who has found themselves fighting this awful disease!). I don't have any wise words or advice, but I have faith and hope and am sending every positive thought and good vibe your way that I know how. No one should have to go through this. It is just shit. Lots of love and hugs coming at you from the Gold Coast. xo
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    kelley · 674 weeks ago

    start wearing leather and a bandana.

    Then people will think you are a biker chick now.

    xx
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    cat@jugglingact · 674 weeks ago

    My heart just goed out to you. ANd you are allowed to rant and rave - do it! This is your place. Lots of love
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    carmenjohnson889158211 48p · 674 weeks ago

    Whatever you think or feel, is valid Trish. Remember that.
    You have to grieve and you certainly have a right to do so.
    Just remember it's only one step at a time that you need to focus on. Only one.
    Love, strength and a million positive thoughts your way (I threw out all the bad ones! ;)). xxXOoo
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    Essentially Jess 98p · 674 weeks ago

    THis is not melodramatic; it's beautify honest. Trish your positive attitude displayed online so far, has been so wonderfully inspiring to many, and that is great. But remember that you don't need to be strong all the time, and if you need to cry, whinge or yell, we understand and that it's ok for you to do that too.
    Big hugs. Xxx
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    lifeasmummymax 80p · 674 weeks ago

    have been thinking of you alot trish. I have no words of wisdom or advice. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts xo You can do this trish x
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    reichmaria 15p · 674 weeks ago

    I mustn't be easy for your nowadays, but you are strong and you will fight that stupid cancer... I really like the good part of your list, I bet you are going to have a great lounge, I wish I could, too...
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    Pepper Tan 17p · 674 weeks ago

    You are going through a tough time, but I'm sure with you family around you, you'll face the challenge head on. I have so many fears about the future too. thanks for the inspiration to keep my head held high.
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    AParentingLife 69p · 674 weeks ago

    Totally not melodramatic, not by a long shot. This is courage and bravery at it's best. Much love to you
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    Eleise · 674 weeks ago

    Oh Trish, this is so hard to read so it must be unbelievably difficult to live through. Thank you for sharing your story and awareness. xxx
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    Misha · 674 weeks ago

    Big hugs to you Trish. It's ok to let people know about the horrible things as well as trying to focus on the positives. Your cheer squad is here regardless.
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    Lisa · 674 weeks ago

    I'm thinking of you. Stay strong Trish
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