Thursday, 27 September 2012

Reflections ... in the mirror

On Thursday especially, I take a moment to reflect on the past week.

I can't remember where I found this ...what do you notice ?

What were my up or down moments ?

What comes to mind ? 

I don't want this to just be a cancer blog, while the 'journey' is very much all consuming right now it is just a part of my life. I don't want pity or sympathy , though I appreciate genuine support and your encouraging comments.

I've had a good week this week. Three weeks on the roller-coaster rolls around so quickly and my next Chemo cycle #4 is tomorrow. It is the last of Chemotherapy round #1, and the last chemo I will have in Sydney. I know what to expect and that makes it easier - the next week will be hard but I'll get through to the other side in a week. I start round #2 in 3-4 weeks at my local Cancer Care Centre.

Today, I have a review with the oncologist {or I think the registrar}. I will ask about my health supplements and a few other things I have on my mind.

I've been doing an immense amount of reading about building yourself up and moving forward , not dwelling on the negative; about taking chances and using my diagnosis to build a better life for myself.

It's overwhelming and one book actually tells you to stop and take a break at the end of some chapters. Another recommends you don't do it all at once.

I am thankful that I have choices and if I want to do this, I need to 'bust' my a s s to get it.

Tomorrow morning, Lily will measure me up for my wooden legs breast prostheses and new bras. I am looking forward to that. I will also ask her about specialised swimming costumes.

I still struggle with my self-image and looking in mirror definitely brings me down. I am losing my eye lashes and my bushy brows are thinning ...I should be a little grateful for that. I tell myself it is temporary and it is.

I went to a blog event Tuesday . I nearly didn't go because I felt so ugly awkward and I had nothing right to wear. I wanted to wear my red hat but I knew the white light reflecting from the back of my head would be blinding. ;) I wore a beanie instead :( - I couldn't risk getting sunburned, my head hasn't seen the sun there since I was a bald 2 yr old.

I am glad I went because I really enjoyed the day with my sons and nephew . I got to say hi and chat to blogging friends and meet up briefly with Lani from Western Australia, and another Sydney friend.

What are you thankful for this week ?