Things I know

I know

• I might have 300 rolls of toilet paper in the garage (thanks Kleenex) but why I am the one who always gets the last sheet on the roll or worse an empty one.

• When I disable the TV in the morning - the cat hates me because the boys decide she wants to jump in a small cupboard box (and sleep with the flaps down).

• Having a newly licenced P' plater in the house adds a new dimension of parental fear despite the new freedom it brings ...no more DAD'S taxi.

•  The petrol tank will need filling soon - so get.a.job.son!

• My husband always take the best shots- it's Jeans for Genes day. I hope you are all supporting this worthy cause.

• I am over the coughing and hoarse voice - just can't wait to yell at my kids again. Whispering just doesn't cut it :) - 

• I know everyone wants to win this to win your own battle against cold & flu season.

 

Playing along with Shae - what do you know today ?

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Wednesday

I was trying to remember what I used to do with the housework my time before joining Facebook & Twitter ...then I started wondering what I did with all my time before the age of the Internet & broadband connection. (Ok you twisted my arm I played solitaire on my computer).

I 've had an Internet connection in some way for about 10 yrs. I loved visiting my parents on Sunday night because they had fast broadband (like Kate@picklebums) and Mum cooked a roast (baked) dinner too while I surfed. Sure I copped flack over it but I didn't mind ;)

Lately, I've felt I needed to cut back even more. Since I have a lot of stuff to do - I just did.

I read a very poignant post yesterday ...Love in the time of the Internet. It is essential reading. My husband barely touches a computer (has his own lapop though) except to move mine around. He just doesn't see how 'the connections' are so important to me. He is much more important to me ...just saying.

Sometimes, when I wonder will I ever be able to be guilt free about marking all as read when my google blog reading list gets too long(....1000+) I have to stop myself. The world won't end if I do it or rather don't.

I feel bad when I know some people who comment on my posts only get a few comments. Iread their posts but I don't have time to click through & comment when I really have stuff to do or two busy boys.

I try to fill my life with positive thoughts and positive people, but there are people in blogland who never get much 'face to face' encouragement or even friendship due to illness, isolation or idiosyncrasises. Maybe cyber space keeps them from slashing their wrists or worse.

By the way ... in return I don't pixxy when people don't comment on my posts, or return emails or DM's or FB wall comments, or text messages because I know 'hey they have real face to face family & friends too , plus their own legion of followers to pacify ...you get it.

So I try to be as guilt free as possible ...right now I must go to bed or else my Man will not be happy ;).

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Friday finally.

Lately my mantra has been

If you feel your heart racing or your breath catching, step back and assess how trivial the issue is.

then I say to myself ...

This , too will pass

It usually works and it saves me a lot of hair pulling. Though , I confess I have never coloured my hair and so far (fingers crossed) I have a few greys/white hairs. I pull the odd one or two out though.

Thanks for the Anniversary wishes they were much appreciated.

We had a lovely day for our 20th anniversary. We dropped the small boys at preschool and took a train ride into the city.

We booked a lunch cruise on Sydney Harbour (minus the drink package) and we ate & chilled. After the wet & wild weekend we waited till the day to decide what to do. We had no great plans for a big celebration because it just isn't our thing.

The cruise was quiet and refreshing. The weather was perfect . The buffet lunch was plentiful and very nice. We ate so much we didn't need dinner.

I still have plans for a romantic candlelight dinner for two at home maybe Saturday night. if we can get the small fry into bed early and get rid of the teen for the night too.

We have in the past (BT = before twins) snuck away for a night or quiet weekend for our anniversary / Valentine's day. Our last was when I was pregnant with twins.

I confess that I am just not ready to leave them for a night , let alone a weekend. I am just too anxious. I waited so long for them and I don't like to be away from them ...well actually I do for short breaks and naptimes LOL. I do look forward to them going to bed at night too
= ).

After all the packing /de-cluttering of the past week we are exhausted. The house has never been tidier LOL. The reason being we had a real estate agent come through today ...

We plan to put our house up for sale in the next 2wks to a month. We have a few things to finish, refresh the paint, replace carpets, repair holes in the walls/door (from the Teen) and replace the wall frieze the twins peeled off ...it's a long list !

It will be sad to leave here it has so many memories. It's just what we need to do and soon.

I have no idea how I'll keep the house clean once it is on the market ...though I do a pretty good job when I can hide stuff in cupboards/boxes etc. I may have to resort to bullying or bribery tactics to make the teen & small boys comply.

Ok, must fly. I still have a few boxes to tackle and oh ...what's for dinner ? any ideas ?
First I am going to find a frosty glass of the grape...arh bliss!
♥

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Confessions

Last Friday night on Twitter the gorgeous ladies were making all sorts of confessions. It reminded me ...

1. I have been trying to write a new blog post since last Thursday & Friday. I have a serious case of procrastination...careful it's contagious.


2. We spent all weekend sorting , de-cluttering and packing in preparation for putting our house up for sale. I kept getting sidetracked reading old magazines ,newspapers & other stuff. The house still looks like a bomb went off.
   


3. We have boxes everywhere and I have no idea where we had it all stashed before it got boxed. All the cupboards are still full.
   


4. I am a hoarder, I have hundreds of old magazines, bits & pieces and stacks of papers. [My filing cabinet is jammed full too... I just don't throw much out.]
   


5. About 16 years we moved I think I still have some of those boxes stored in an old garage at work (if the rats haven't destroyed it), 10 years later we moved again. I know we have lots of those boxes ...glassware & other wedding presents we have never used in 20 yrs. Then 5 yrs ago ...you get the picture !
   


6. My filing system is a huge # FAIL (see #4). I am not looking forward to finding all the receipts & stuff for our personal tax.
   


7. Over the weekend we moved S & J, into separate bedrooms as they have huge car shaped beds. We got them second hand and they are different beds .They used to take up the whole room almost. Their room was cramped. I resisted my DH's suggestion we do it months ago ...He was right (please don't tell him) .It looks great and they love the new space to spread the toys even further =-D. It was more my anxiety about separating them as 'Twins' than actually doing it.
   


8. In the process of de-cluttering & packing and I found a small white box. Curiosity got the better of me ... inside was 'OMG a year's supply (for me) of brand new unopened contact lens = $225 posted to me Dec 2007. (Ok , I was only out of pocket approx $12.50 due to my health rebate but what a waste.) Unfortunately. my prescription has changed .Though I obviously didn't need them I am so annoyed. [I will ring and see if I can donate them somewhere they are still in date till Oct 2010...well that's the plan.]


9. I also found three old school primary readers of the Teen's ( He had them in about y4 ...only had them 6.5 yrs ...which means we moved them with us 5 .5 yrs ago.Of course , I am going to put them back in school's letterbox before we move again =)


10. I watched the Black Saturday Anniversary special on ABC last night .The devastation and loss of life was unbelievable. Heart wrenching. I thought ...why do I need so many possessions. I wondered seriously why I can't live more simply (and cull all the cr@p...so does my DH)
    


11. I tried a cheat's recipe for Easiyo Yoghurt to double my yield & make two jars from one packet = #MEGA FAIL .I tried to rescue it # 2 FAIL .Tipped the lot down the sink in the end. (Don't believe everything you Google and don't mess with the EASIYO ! )

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Boring

I have the feeling that my boring posts have left me with only two or three readers.

You know I'm just curious whether it is true or not ?

Please raise your hand in comments if you still check my blog ...or don't bother if it is a bother. I am just writing this because ...

NaBloPoMo is almost over .

The holidays are coming so you can breathe a sigh of relief ...shh don't tell my DH I am taking my laptop and mobile broadband.

Even though I'm doing boring posts I have plenty to say just not sure how to articulate a few things...without revealing too much or being a whinger.

Some difficult days are upon us ...I don't mean that I have yet to write even one Christmas list or write the medical appointments, preschool concert, relatives visiting dates on my calendar.

By the way where is my diary ?

Seriously if I had more than 10 mins I would write up my Honest scrap post ...I've just been busy placating all the males in my household and ...oh it doesn't matter !

PS I googled boring ...thanks Wikipedia
~ the expression to be a bore had been used in the sense of "to be tiresome or dull" since 1768

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Random thoughts I

Random Thoughts Part I

Who would have thought ???????

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that noone in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk
5. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
6. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
7. There is a great need for sarcasm font or smiley.
8. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
9. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
11. Was learning cursive really necessary?
12. LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
14. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't understand what they mumbled said?
15. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a 'loser' from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
16. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my last name to someone and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
17. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel on the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
18. 'Where is' (Mapquest) really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my street & neighborhood.
19. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water and scream because it's cold.
20. Bad decisions make good stories , now even better blog posts or tweets.

(I stole this from another blog who got this by email.This is the lamest I'll be all week...day 7 of NABLOPOMO .You'll just have to wait till next week for part 2 though I shamelessly admit I deleted the really inappropriate ones and editted a few others )

♥

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Justice ...at last

Some very significant things have happened in the last few days.
A few months ago my husband (personally in his name but related to our business) got a Statement of claim for civil damages. It was from a woman he met once and was for an alleged breach of oral contract and subsequent alleged losses ...all for a quote he gave 5 months prior.

It was out of the blue and cost her $77 to lodge the claim in court.It was the first he had ever been to court.
Our business didn't deal in oral quotes. She was trying to claim scam over $6000 from us and gave no details how she arrived at the amount except for almost $600 in legal costs (to prepare the Statement of claim we presumed). Inconceivable.
For over 4 months it has consumed our life, though my husband only had to go to court in the city twice.
Preparation of our defence and witness statements took hours upon hours ...actually days.
There were sleepless nights and the worry of it.
The worse that could happen was he has to pay heed to her ridiculous, inconceivable claims and pay the money.

That it could proceed to a court hearing without someone really looking at the truth of the matter it is inconceivable.

A date was set for a mediation session at the court in mid July.We cut short our planned holiday away to be there ...or else they could have ruled against us in our absence. The woman did not show but her Barrister's secretary did only to insist on going directly a hearing. DH waited 3-4 hrs for a 5min chance to speak , and only a hearing date was set for a month later.

By all accounts a barrister was unnecessary , Dh represented himself.
The woman didn't show at the hearing only her barrister was there.
Our case was listed for mid afternoon , the 2nd case on the appointed hour. I accompanied my DH this time.
The courtroom opened , the two Plaintiffs and two defendants entered, the parties Cases 1 & 2, stood for Assessor as requested by the court secretary. It was otherwise informal.
The Assessor asked each person to identity themselves. then said Case 1 would likely be 30mins and that we could go outside and try to resolve the matter amongst ourselves.
We went outside with the Barrister, a very nice man by all accounts . A little small talk followed and then he asked if we were prepared to settle...

Dh : "No "
Barrister : "okay , we will let court decide"

He also told us he didn't normally deal in civil claims but murder and manslaughter cases, he mentioned he had been before Judge X in the Supreme Court and Judge Z in the District court already that morning.

The first case was actually 1hr.15mins long. We started to get worried we wouldn't make it back in time to get our sons from daycare. I made hasty arrangements, just in case, with my Sister in law.

Then it was our turn after 2 hr 30min wait.
It was very intimidating. Dh was nervous. The Barrister spoke first. He objected to us introducing more evidence , despite the fact Dh has been told he could. Incorrectly so it seems.
The Assessor explained at length why he couldn't. Ok .

The Plaintiff had sent her documents back to us by fax late on the last possible day after they had received our statements. We didn't have same opportunity they ahd to be lodged at the court.

In civil cases the court makes decisions based on written evidence submitted 14 days prior to the hearing. It was incredulous we couldn't respond to her false claims in her statement.
Still DH was able to read them out. He was very nervous but did a great job.
In the end the Assessor said it was 'inconceivable' that 'we' would have entered an oral contract as Plaintiff had stated .
At best her claims of loss - were not proven , excessive and were not even in her name but other names and actually in name of a business for what was personal quotes...her Barrister couldn't explain how the sum of approx $6000 was derived nor the discrepancies.

DH wanted to say surely they had also broken some tax laws but didn't.

The Barrister used some fancy legal terms and tried to argue a few points.He lost us.

In the end about 40 mins after we entered the Assessor started summing it up.It was ruled in our favour though at first it was hard to follow him. The case against Dh was dismissed.

Justice prevailed , though at significant cost to our mental health and untold stress.
We didn't have legal costs thank goodness.

The Barrister shook hands at the end and explained a few other things. He was a character indeed.

He took the case as a favour. Still the woman is going to be charged by him ...I don't know what the going rate is for a criminal barrister doing a civil case but she deserves everything she has got coming to her.
I am just thankful it was resolved and the case is over (God I hope so).
I am relieved we can move on to better things and put the whole saga behind us.

We paid our $32 for parking (cost twice as much as lunch did).
The drive out of the city took us 1hr 50 mins and we made it to preschool at 5.56pm with 4 mins to spare.
The calls of congratulations from family and friends were heartwarming.
I'll tell you the other significant things tomorrow ...
♥

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Confessions from the rubber room

Sat 6th August @ Multiple MUM

There are many things I don’t understand about human nature. One of the main ones is the intense desire to judge other people.

So judging others ...It seems as though its been going forever so history tells us. Now sometimes it isn't just limited to real life and it is in the virtual world.A dear friend of mine, Tiff @ Three Ring Circus has been blogging about her family of seven beautiful children. One of them Ivy, a gorgeous two year old has been sick for a long time and they fought a battle to get her special treatment. A lot of bloggers helped out by signing a petition. I missed it all because we were away.

Now Tiff is plagued by trolls who want to bring her down. She is much loved and I suppose some people don't like it.They judge her and harshly criticize her blogging about her life as she honestly tells it and Ivy's treatment or lack of it. I don't understand it.

The trolls that is.They also probably don't understand or bother to look deeper ... like knowing the devastation and anguish Tiff and her family suffered watching their 5 day old son,and baby brother die in their arms only 4 years ago.

Do they know that Ivy gets extremely sick very quickly and though she doesn't have something much worse (who is to judge anyway) she has suffered so much in her short life since her birth @ 30 weeks. Ivy has been in hospital again for 5 days -imagine that stress and disruption to a family of seven children - 5 at school, one of them with special needs and a toddler (missing his twin and Mum) , and missing your wedding anniversary ... so to all those trolls who sit in judgement I wish you could understand how much more it is.

In real life too the need to make sure you are on par with everyone else and perhaps a bit above. The need to make sure if someone is different than you, that you are still 'good enough'…and maybe even a bit better? I don’t know why! Why can't we just accept each other for what we are ?

I personally know its hurtful when you are on the other side, but I also know that subconsciously I even do it too. Can it be ... it can be, rather than just focusing on their weaknesses or faults we focus on something else. I might not agree with and like everyone I meet but with a little understanding I can accept they want the same things in life that I do. We are just a little different.

So what if I decide to continue breastfeeding at 2 or if another friend lets her child have a bottle still ...what difference can you tell between the kids in kindergarten which one gave up their dummy or bottle or breast at 12 months or 3 yrs ?. So what !

There are also two sides to every story and even every person has a side they they might not show to others or a reason they do what they do. Leave them be.

The desire to live in a community is intense too. People want to live or rather be around other people, to be able to have a friend to ring (or email) when they are feeling down or have some good news to share, to be able to stop for a cuppa and chat or share some chow every now and then.

It is what people want to be able to do and do it everyday. I see the blogging community as an extension of our real life community. Some of us are too busy especially mums with small or sick children. We can't get out everyday so these friends are our sanity.

I am in awe of the support the blogging community has given to Tiff and even to me at times.

When people get too busy, to connect, they start to feel isolated, even though they are going from work to kids activities or thing to thing. When we aren’t able to stop and connect with others in a meaningful way we get 'down'.

I feel a little like that at the moment. I hate it being about me and I would rather not say it. However, I know so many others are hurting this same way. I have friends (real and blogging ones)I haven't connected with in ages and I feel bad about it. I am sorry to anyone I have missed!
OK, so I’ve been on a brief hiatus from serious 'blogging'. It is partly because of some people who read my blog that I would rather NOT and I made a decision that my children and family are more important. I used to do a lot of reading ,writing, commenting and a lot of stuff on the internet. Then I stopped. I sort of lost contact with a lot of people in the cyber world and even in real life.

That little “write a post today” voice starts popping back up in my head or I wonder how 'X''Y'& 'Z' is but I just don't have enough hours in the day. Still I do have a lot to say ...there is plenty of time as soon as I get more organised.

Lastly I got this by email recently

It said that every 60 seconds you spend angry, upset or mad is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Today's Message of the Day is: Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Life may not by the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.

... It's my uncle's 50th Birthday today so we are off to a party . Then it is my Mum's birthday tomorrow and my dear Friend's -be sure to mark it in your diary and go her some lovin' Monday.

♥

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This & that

Wow, I can hardly believe 10 days have gone by. So much to say but so little time.Well maybe I don't have so much to say anymore.

I have been so busy doing housework, playing with S & J , gardening, doctors appointments and checkups and other mundane stuff I have hardly had a chance to think about blogging. I have weaned myself from the Internet. I hardly noticed the withdrawal.It feels good to be released but also sad. I am sorry I haven't been around to visit you all. I miss you.

Good news ... J's congenital developmental dysplasia of his hips got the all clear after xrays Tuesday.We go back again in 3 yrs for a final checkup but the specialist was confident no further treatment will be required. J also had a renal ultrasound, the results we won't get for two weeks. He has another scan to check for any scarring and kidney function next week. His last scan showed 65% right kidney /35% function for left kidney (meant to add to 100).

Poor J was unwell all week with high temperatures , and some vomiting too. The teen, D was also also home 4 days from school unwell with virus.S, thank fully was sparred.

The days have been so beautiful and spring will be sprung in just over 2 weeks. It has only been a mild winter. So I have been weeding the garden because I want it in good shape for Charlotte's anniversary (1st September) . I love being in her garden.Of course I need none of this to remember that my daughter died, but sometimes I like the feeling of tending to her roses, weeding and having something physical to look at.

Our new neighbours will move in this weekend so for the first time in 8 years (4 years here) we will have close enough to hear what we say LOL neighbours. We have new 2.1m high fences - nice compared to the old,battered , green 3ft fences but my husband says it feels like a jail. They have a balcony overlooking us and our dining room window and tonight we can smell their BBQ.

I know a few people who know me in real life read my blog and I have no problems with this. I have always been 100% honest.Sure I exaggerate and play on the funny things in my life - so be it . Maybe some things are too personal to blog and they horrify people but I think sharing personal things allows others to see we make mistakes and we are all dealing with issues that cause us distress.

No-one is perfect and it has helped me to read other blogs. To relate to their grief and loss journeys, marital stress, teenage/parent relationships problems and even the joys and challenges of raising twins or just two adventurous toddlers. The truth sets us free from worrying and it helps to know we are not alone. Yes, there are people with far more serious problems, and we all have issues to deal with. I suppose this blog is my little corner I use to express my frustrations and the fun I have with my life experiences.

The feeling of isolation many stay at home mothers (and fathers) feel is lessened with the burdens shared and joys celebrated.Not that I blog all of my feelings , far from it, I hold back on a lot of things but at least others can be open too. It’s supplementary support, in good times and in bad times 24/7 that some real life friends came bring.

I have said it before Internet friends can’t replace your community of real life friends, but they can add to it. Using it with compassion to reach out in friendship, then that’s what you’ll get in return. That is very real. Sometimes you might elicit nods of recognition, virtual hugs of understanding and offers of support and perhaps the occasional softly-spoken disapproval.

Just so you know things on the home front are improving but I don't want to talk about it here at the moment.

PS I haven't even had time to think about starting a new blog ...

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