Bracing myself for what comes next - update.

On Friday I noticed my left thigh seemed to be more swollen. I wondered if it could have been related to another trip to Sydney on Thursday. This time my husband drove so we could attend a funeral of my dear friend's mum - about 9-10hrs return. It got worse over the weekend despite massage.

I wish I'd thought to wrestle slip on my compression [running] pants. Today, I chased around trying to get an ultrasound since I'd self diagnosed a seroma (accumulated fluid) ,much easier to deal with compared to the alternative an infection/abscess or something else - though it was unlikely.

The GP couldn't get me an appointment at either of the two local imaging centres , so he said present to the hospital.

Thankfully, I had my iPad and 2048 and Sudoku to pass the waiting time. My mobile wifi refused to connect.

 I'm grateful I got the ultrasound because I would have cracked it I don't want anything to delay the start of the radiotherapy. My appointment with the Professor -Radiation Oncology is tomorrow to get that rolling.

As it was a seroma (and I was a private patient for my surgery in Sydney), the Dr rang my surgeon in Sydney, out of courtesy, for advice. I need to have the accumulated fluid [seroma] drained by a needle and syringe aspirated under guided ultrasound tomorrow at 9.45am, at the hospital.

It took a while to get everything sorted and then I was quite stressed because I had to be home to meet my boys at the school bus. I made it just in time.

Bracing myself for what comes next because I might need to have it done a few times, I hope it sounds worse than it actually is ?
Fun times.

EDIT - Well we were wrong - the fluid was a haematoma and a collection of blood not serous fluid - about 70mls was aspirated by a bloody big 19 gauge needle and syringe. It is still a bit swollen looking but swelling has reduced. The worse part was the local anaesthetic injection. It is now sorer than before but I'm sucking it up and going to paddle today anyway.

I am now (in the next week or so) in waiting, for the call to give me an appointment for Radiation treatment planning.

  -♥

Wordless Wednesday - Snake wrangler

A few weeks we took the boys to the Dubbo show ...







The snake man (Herpetologist) was showing us both dangerous (venomous) snakes (up too close for me) and these huge non venomous pythons ... Sam my little snake charmer was keen to hold one (safe ones).

Personally I was very grossed out when I had to touch the snake to remove it from around Sam's neck....eeeeewwwwwww it felt awful.

I'm not Ophidiophobic ... though I don't really like snakes . Ophidiophobia is a snake phobia and is said to be one of the most debilitating phobias .

Ophidiophobia can take hold of people even when the snake does not present itself in person and even bring about high levels of anxiety even when the snake is only present in print form. One of my best friends (I met as a teenager) couldn't even see them as a black white line drawing / or illustration in a book (so her dad covered them over). Seriously even mentioning them created anxiety for her. I am sure it still does.

Another best friend from school lived next door to a well known Herpetologist, 'Jim'
in his small surburban backyard he kept many of reptiles ...my friend's Dad always found a few when mowing his lawn ;). I remember seeing Jim's small son wrapped completely in a snake 3 times as long as the boy was tall.

The best first aid for most venomous snakes is a pressure bandage ...to stop lymphatic spread - bandage firmly, splint and immobilise! Never wash the site , it's important to retain traces of venom for use with venom identification kits!

♥ Never miss a post

Confessions

Last Friday night on Twitter the gorgeous ladies were making all sorts of confessions. It reminded me ...

1. I have been trying to write a new blog post since last Thursday & Friday. I have a serious case of procrastination...careful it's contagious.


2. We spent all weekend sorting , de-cluttering and packing in preparation for putting our house up for sale. I kept getting sidetracked reading old magazines ,newspapers & other stuff. The house still looks like a bomb went off.
   


3. We have boxes everywhere and I have no idea where we had it all stashed before it got boxed. All the cupboards are still full.
   


4. I am a hoarder, I have hundreds of old magazines, bits & pieces and stacks of papers. [My filing cabinet is jammed full too... I just don't throw much out.]
   


5. About 16 years we moved I think I still have some of those boxes stored in an old garage at work (if the rats haven't destroyed it), 10 years later we moved again. I know we have lots of those boxes ...glassware & other wedding presents we have never used in 20 yrs. Then 5 yrs ago ...you get the picture !
   


6. My filing system is a huge # FAIL (see #4). I am not looking forward to finding all the receipts & stuff for our personal tax.
   


7. Over the weekend we moved S & J, into separate bedrooms as they have huge car shaped beds. We got them second hand and they are different beds .They used to take up the whole room almost. Their room was cramped. I resisted my DH's suggestion we do it months ago ...He was right (please don't tell him) .It looks great and they love the new space to spread the toys even further =-D. It was more my anxiety about separating them as 'Twins' than actually doing it.
   


8. In the process of de-cluttering & packing and I found a small white box. Curiosity got the better of me ... inside was 'OMG a year's supply (for me) of brand new unopened contact lens = $225 posted to me Dec 2007. (Ok , I was only out of pocket approx $12.50 due to my health rebate but what a waste.) Unfortunately. my prescription has changed .Though I obviously didn't need them I am so annoyed. [I will ring and see if I can donate them somewhere they are still in date till Oct 2010...well that's the plan.]


9. I also found three old school primary readers of the Teen's ( He had them in about y4 ...only had them 6.5 yrs ...which means we moved them with us 5 .5 yrs ago.Of course , I am going to put them back in school's letterbox before we move again =)


10. I watched the Black Saturday Anniversary special on ABC last night .The devastation and loss of life was unbelievable. Heart wrenching. I thought ...why do I need so many possessions. I wondered seriously why I can't live more simply (and cull all the cr@p...so does my DH)
    


11. I tried a cheat's recipe for Easiyo Yoghurt to double my yield & make two jars from one packet = #MEGA FAIL .I tried to rescue it # 2 FAIL .Tipped the lot down the sink in the end. (Don't believe everything you Google and don't mess with the EASIYO ! )

♥

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Separation Anxiety 101

Last October I visited two childcare centres with a view to booking my boys in for just one day a week ...it took me two months to get that far.

I think I’ve been experiencing separation anxiety ever since.

Now it is crunch time I could couldn't put it off for ever much longer. I have our 2008 Business and personal tax to finish. I want to make a start on doing some things for myself. I want to give my DH a day off from work every now and then.

*sigh* I never thought it would be so heart wrenching. Though , ok truthfully - most some days I am so glad when they nap for 2-3 hrs I will miss them enormously.

For two and half years my boys hardly left my breast side baring a few hours off for a night out or to donate blood. I have entrusted them only to a few family members. Even at church creche it was just 40 mins and that was only a few times. They didn't like me going either.I knew it was normal toddler separation anxiety.

Three weeks ago I joined the local gym on a $30 for 30 days trial. They had a free creche. So I tried left them. A few times they cried and so did I almost walking out leaving them for an hour or so. I wasn't so worried knowing I was only 30 secs away. The reunions were so heart warming. Choruses of "Hi Mum" , "Mummy" , "Hi Mummy" ...

Now they are happy to attend the creche ...too happy ;).

I knew I had to do it.

Today I did ... I rang up ...they start tomorrow.

I took them there for a quick visit.They loved it. They both joined right in. It is a nice place.

The book says children get over 'separation' anxiety by two years, but no age limit is given for mothers. I know I cannot stay with my boys every minute of every day and even if I could, that wouldn't take care of everything.

It breaks my heart to think there will be no docking into the 'mothership' for a quick hug & kiss when they hurt themselves or are feeling tired or someone takes a toy off them or after they wake up from nap.

Tomorrow, they will take the first tentative , baby steps on journey of a thousand miles towards formalised education ... albeit 'daycare' in ' &^%#$ ' Learning centre ...why can't a 'learning centre' just be called something fun.

There are some steps I can take if they have a problem .Though I know it is me who will need the boxes of Kleenex. It is a mixture of fear, worrying the staff will do as a good a job as I do and the unknown factors ...remembering their sister that I had no choice but to leave.

Saying goodbye to them, even for a few hours, tomorrow will be one of the hardest things I have had to do for a while.

---

Days of Grace 15/365

1. Sunshine breaking through the rain
2. Running in the rain
3. Walking after rain and before the next shower
   
4. Freshly mown grass just before the rain
5. Raindrops on roses
   

Days of Grace 16/365

1. Tuesday playgroup morning teas (yummy)
   
2. Toddler nap time ;)
   
3. Hi's from MSN or Facebook friends
4. Chocolate covered Tiny teddy biscuits that keep toddlers quiet while mummy finishes her post
   
5. A Hubby who gets up to crying toddlers overnight ...
   

♥

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