Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Separation Anxiety 101

Last October I visited two childcare centres with a view to booking my boys in for just one day a week ...it took me two months to get that far.

I think I’ve been experiencing separation anxiety ever since.

Now it is crunch time I could couldn't put it off for ever much longer. I have our 2008 Business and personal tax to finish. I want to make a start on doing some things for myself. I want to give my DH a day off from work every now and then.

*sigh* I never thought it would be so heart wrenching. Though , ok truthfully - most some days I am so glad when they nap for 2-3 hrs I will miss them enormously.

For two and half years my boys hardly left my breast side baring a few hours off for a night out or to donate blood. I have entrusted them only to a few family members. Even at church creche it was just 40 mins and that was only a few times. They didn't like me going either.I knew it was normal toddler separation anxiety.

Three weeks ago I joined the local gym on a $30 for 30 days trial. They had a free creche. So I tried left them. A few times they cried and so did I almost walking out leaving them for an hour or so. I wasn't so worried knowing I was only 30 secs away. The reunions were so heart warming. Choruses of "Hi Mum" , "Mummy" , "Hi Mummy" ...

Now they are happy to attend the creche ...too happy ;).

I knew I had to do it.

Today I did ... I rang up ...they start tomorrow.

I took them there for a quick visit.They loved it. They both joined right in. It is a nice place.

The book says children get over 'separation' anxiety by two years, but no age limit is given for mothers. I know I cannot stay with my boys every minute of every day and even if I could, that wouldn't take care of everything.

It breaks my heart to think there will be no docking into the 'mothership' for a quick hug & kiss when they hurt themselves or are feeling tired or someone takes a toy off them or after they wake up from nap.

Tomorrow, they will take the first tentative , baby steps on journey of a thousand miles towards formalised education ... albeit 'daycare' in ' &^%#$ ' Learning centre ...why can't a 'learning centre' just be called something fun.

There are some steps I can take if they have a problem .Though I know it is me who will need the boxes of Kleenex. It is a mixture of fear, worrying the staff will do as a good a job as I do and the unknown factors ...remembering their sister that I had no choice but to leave.

Saying goodbye to them, even for a few hours, tomorrow will be one of the hardest things I have had to do for a while.

Days of Grace 15/365
  1. Sunshine breaking through the rain
  2. Running in the rain
  3. Walking after rain and before the next shower
  4. Freshly mown grass just before the rain
  5. Raindrops on roses
Days of Grace 16/365
  1. Tuesday playgroup morning teas (yummy)
  2. Toddler nap time ;)
  3. Hi's from MSN or Facebook friends
  4. Chocolate covered Tiny teddy biscuits that keep toddlers quiet while mummy finishes her post
  5. A Hubby who gets up to crying toddlers overnight ...

Never miss a post


Hippomanic Jen said...

All the best with your separation anxiety. It is the first of many steps - be strong.

Soralis said...

Good luck! I am already dreading school! :)

Take care

CGDK said...

sorry but no, it won't be the hardest thing - the hardest thing is when you leave them and they are sssobbbing MMMUuummmmYYyy Doooon't ggggoooo!
That probably be about week 3.
Enjoy your time knowing they will have fun while you are missing!

Lilly's Life said...

Oh Trish I feel for you and it doesnt get easier. I remember it so well. Think of it this way they have their best friend there with them. They will never be alone. They are going to have loads of fun and make lots of new friends. And when you get into the swing of things you wont know yourself. You will have some me time. You deserve that too. Take Care.

Blossom said...

Its never easy is it???

One thing I always console myself with ,it the fact that they ARE twins........
they will always have each other..

gentle hugs

tiff said...

I hope they have a really good day Trish and that you do too!

Anonymous said...

Good luck tomorrow. Know that your time apart will make your time together even more precious. You will be so happy to see them again and they will have an absolute ball playing and creating with all the other kids there. Try to enjoy their time away.

Amanda said...

I know I'm going to be feeling exactly like that if I have to leave Aaron somewhere. Thankfully, I don't have to go through it yet. Good luck. I'm sure your boys will have fun.

Widdle Shamrock said...

Awww Trish, I know what you mean.

Hugs and all the best for you and the boys.

jeanie said...

Good luck - and if it helps with your separation anxiety at all, something I received from a colleague:

"... please be advised that as of 13 Feb 2009, in order for taxpayers to receive the cash handouts from the Government, people must have lodged their tax returns by no later than 30 June 2009. However, if tax returns are lodged by “mid-March 2009” they will be in the first batch of payments expected in “early-April 2009”, those that lodge after “mid-March 2009” will be paid their respective cash bonuses, but who knows when?? "

Make it a mantra for yourself, turn up the music and hopefully you will be finished early enough for a hug or two this afternoon.

Veronica said...

I've been thinking seriously about putting Amy in day care for a half day a week, but I don't think *I'm* ready yet. I don't doubt she is though!

M+B said...

Hope you managed to keep your mind busy and not constantly worry and wonder about your boys!

Post a Comment

Thank you for your comment.

Please know that even when I do not respond specifically to your comment - I treasure each comment made and consider it a thoughtful act of friendship.
So what do you have to say ? Share with me ...
add your ingredients to this recipe we call life.