Are we ever really cancer free ? ..the buts and ifs

It's here.
Not , less than 10 days to Christmas.
I feel anxious, though I have no reason to be.
My scans are stable , except they have yet to scan my thigh where the malignant tumour MPNST was.
I will be asking for that to happen.

My husband and I head will travel 400kms to Sydney to see the Radiaiton oncologist for 6 monthly follow-up appointments, tomorrow, with Radiation Oncologist at The Crown Princess Mary Cancer Care Centre Westmead (what a mouthful)

We are so thankful for the Oncologists and other medical Drs who kept (keep) us ticking. This morning I read an article that nails it and helped me understand some of my own feelings.



This is a snippet.

I would always figure out what needed to be done and then did the best I could to move on, happy and worry-free. But now, not so much. I worry about my health, along with every ache and pain. I think about all the possibilities of what could attack my body. I think about my kids, my hubby, and my family. I think about cancer finding its way back into my life. Although I am a strong person and live a healthy and active lifestyle, I feel physically vulnerable all the time. What if the cancer never left? I sometimes fear that it will never be gone. Is anyone ever truly "cancer-free?"

I feel more emotionally vulnerable. That gut wrenching feeling is with me every day. Little aches and pains send subconscious shivers through my soul. I can't brush the worry off.

No amount of therapy would help because the fear is intense. I deal with it as best I can. I keep busy.

But the moment you are sent home with your "get out of jail free" card, you are alone, unsupported, and left to deal with the after effects no one really warns you about. No one tells you that you will come down from that adrenaline rush to a place where you don't know what you feel, think or how to move forward in your life.

http://www.ihadcancer.com/h3-blog/07-12-2014/Are-We-Ever-Really-Cancer-Free

I hope that it may be of some help to you, to understand too.

♥

Wordless Wednesday : Pan Pacific Masters Games - If you think a minute goes quickly

Not #PPMG14

 My Gold Medal

Paddling with this Cancer Survivor team (plus ringin's)

This was Great Grand Masters 10's (not my race) 500m

1st 500m Race Cancer Survivors Team #PPMG14

An InLinkz Link-up

Sorry, I missed you all last week I was away 5 days - paddling !  ♥

This is their story ~ Relay For Life

Once a year , all through the year , communities across Australia come together to walk (run and wheel) alongside carers, survivors and supporters - fun and friendship ensues.While there is a truly sad side , it also is a time of celebration.

The Cancer Council took to the track to ask our Relayers to explain in their words - What is Relay For Life?

This is their story and this is Relay For Life #ThisIsRelay

Whether you Relay to honour a loved one, to show how proud you are to have survived cancer or simply because you want to make a difference. Every Relay has a story.

I am sharing this because I am passionate about Relay for Life -



 ♥

What I think about Pink.

I celebrate the diversity of life and that we make up our own minds when we make a purchase.

It's Pinktober again.

I've come to dislike the plethora of pink merchandise  - commercialism of pink ribbon and breast cancer for profit.

I'm just over two years out from my Breast cancer and two days into October I've seen some bizarre campaigns to promote awareness or in the name of donating to research.

Several breast cancer bloggers I follow are disgusted about one hotel chain's plan to raise money and awareness for breast cancer - by promoting a woman in a provocative pose with their  “Get into Bed for the Cause” campaign offering guests luxurious pink sheets, pink robes ...

I am just as appalled.

Each year an increasing number of pink products are being pumped out and pimped with a pretty pink ribbon.

Breastless and bald doesn't make an advertising campaign. The all things pink and pink ribbon has been hijacked by some  unscrupulous and well meaning companies whose purpose is to boost sales, push products on the public because they will donate 10 cents to cancer research or awareness.

Yes, while contributing only a fraction of the profits they proceed to lure people into buying for a good cause - yet are you really donating to charity or to the cure ?

Make a bigger difference by donating directly to your Cancer charity of choice.


We're aware. Please find a cure for my friends diagnosed with 'terminal' secondary (breast and other) cancers that will ultimately cut short their life and give them grief and suffering trying to outlive the treatment.

Many were diagnosed early and it made no difference. The cure is what we need.

This is what breast cancer really looks like, not a woman in bed, legs in the air - adorned in a pink robe.

 I'm a survivor of life,  and all its challenges so far . I don't know if I will survive my two different cancers. I say I had Breast cancer , if someone wants to know and I'm a warrior not quite a survivor. I will live in it's shadows always.

My battle scars from the storms and wars I've weathered remind me every day. There is no avoiding it I feel even when my clothes cover the scars. 




  ♥