Saturday, 9 April 2011

Grateful Saturday- The Dance


Life, loss, grief and love intertwined.  

And /or  not so grateful really to be reminded at how fragile life is , with anniversaries remembered of precious little angels and another little life taken so soon.

I've read a few poignant posts and comments about experiences of loss this week.
Also, remembering my own bittersweet memories of 7 years ago. 
After 12 years infertility, I considered with awesome wonder the thought I might actually be pregnant for the first time. 

Almost to the day ... Easter 2004.
600km from home, in remote country town, on a 8000 acre farm.
No one to tell or I wanted to tell in case I was wrong.
Not even my DH.
No hope of a pregnancy test kit , we were 75km from nearest pharmacy. 
I had to wait it out for 3 days.

In the end all did not go as planned.
Almost 27 weeks was all I had.
It was oft implied , by well meaning people , I would better.never. to have been pregnant to lose our daughter, tragically stillborn at 6 months. 
Never.

I am forever grateful that I had the chance and for The dance. Even though I was filled with terrible pain for years months after she died. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
I can still smile.

How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance



PS Garth is my favourite cowboy.

Grateful too , my husband had a day's paid work this week and more grateful we got a lot accomplished in our garden makeover for the big sell. We (HE) planted 30 trees/shrubs, removed a ute load of weeds and spread a thousand shovelfuls of mushroom compost and mulch.

Grateful our teenage son got a new job with, what appears, to be a very good company.
His last job , temporary for 5-6wks , was a little discouraging as the sole employer was a bit dodgy.

So, what's making you smile today?
... Please add a link back to Maxibella in your post. Blog hop to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.
  
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12 comments :

peskypixies said...

Life, loss, grief and love.There seems to be a lot of it going on this week.
im so sorry your gorgeous Charlotte
isnt here but Im glad you got the chance.

massive hugs

muminsearch.com said...

I am sorry for your loss but I am glad, too, that you appreciate spending the time you had with your daughter.

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh yes, we are so blessed & lucky to be mothers full stop. I know i've been extremely fortunate with 4 babies, now it's the frightening part - teenagers, keeping them safe & sound. Love Posie

Muddled Up Mumma said...

Can't begin to image how hard losing a baby would have (and still be) for you. So nice to hear you have so many things to be grateful for this week. Enjoy your weekend and thanks for popping by my blog. x

thatblogyoudo said...

What a lovely way to look at something so painful, to be grateful for what you had rather than what you lost...

My New Normal said...

I feel the same way. I would never take back being pregnant with my son. I only wish I got to bring him home with me.

Squiggly Rainbow said...

Thank you for sharing Trish - xox

Rach x

ClaireyH said...

My sister played that song for our little farm boy, Lochie, his anniversary is also next week.

I know that religion is comforting for some when experiencing loss, but the heartache I hear of from so many babies that have left us too early, just makes me question the whole lot...what kind of god would do this?

Maxabella said...

Trish, Charlotte's story saddens me every time, but she is remembered with joy and that's what matters in the end. x

Being Me said...

Trish, it's so amazing that people honestly believe it would be better for a grieving parent never to have carried their child than to experience that little life, however brief, and then their passing. I wouldn't take my experience back for all the world. I know you wouldn't either xxxx

Much love to you as you remember Charlotte this week, especially.

cat said...

Beautiful post.

Suzy said...

This brought tears to my eyes. I feel the same way about my boy, I am grateful for the time I had.

(And my partner always references the dance in relation to our baby - she loves garth too!)

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