Not so ... Wordless Wednesday

I can explain ... make sure you read the story under the picture.


This actually really did happen. This cake was for someone who was moving from an Insurance Claims office.

Okay ... so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Wool.worths Employee: 'Hello Wool.worths, how can I help you?'
Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'
Wool.worths Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'
Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

(I received this by email)

Don't stop laughing yet ...you can't fix 'stupid'
but you can thank them for a good laugh.

Assvice of the day

1. Laughter really is good for you, it's more than just an enjoyable activity, it is very beneficial to the body and mind. It doesn't cost a cent and it is highly contagious.

   Laughter lowers blood pressure, activates the immune system, triggers the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers), reduces stress hormones, helps reduce pain, allows muscles to relax and is helpful for breathing as frequent laughter empties the air of lungs.

2. Read this - I think it's one of the funniest Thankgivings /Turkey joke ever.
3. Do you remember my 2007 Wordless Wednesday Turkey recipe - wouldn't this be fun to serve.
   

♥

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Extra sauce

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

She said, "You received a very strange post card today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," He said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, Two without. "SEND EXTRA SAUCE". (I found this joke on the internet)

It made me think of Post Secret Did you know recently Problogger-Dareen Rowse interviewed Frank Warren from Post Secret. Frank gets 1,000 postcards a week - people sharing silly, soulful and shocking secrets on postcards from around the world.




Got any secrets you want to share ? ...
if you want to be anonymous you can tell Lunanik @secrets of a black heart

Image from Flickr Swirling thoughts

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A little light hearted ... why computers crash

Feeling a bit flat - Firefox has crashed so many times on me lately and IE too when I use it . Windows live mail is giving me trouble and I couldn't get into my emails there or on my home private one for a few days ...so if I haven't gotten back to you sorry !

Why Computers Sometimes Crash

Peter Piper picked a peck of programs, and proceeded ponderously to produce a personal computer:-)

Why Computers Sometimes Crash! By Dr. Seuss. (You gotta read this one out loud - it's great!)

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket at a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the packet pocket socket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and let it go out with a bang,
'cuz as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
and then quick turn off the P.C.and be sure to tell your Mom to stay clear out of your room, or else the bugger's sure to bomb!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?Thank you, computers, for bringing all this into our lives.

Got to love my computer but my husband hates it but is slowly learning ...except now he has to fight DS for the laptop.He wants to be online too.

I love DR Seuss ... have you seen his nursing (.) (.) poem.

I had some screw-ups to post but they will have to wait ...

Ask a Stupid question ?

I am happy today ...Blogger took the post word verification off - hooray.About time !

Six days I suffered this inconvenience including every time I had to edit my posts for spelling errors (a lot).It was extra fuzzy and hard to see - so it would take me an average 3-5 times. Frustration - beyond measure... don't we all hate word verification

To make it worse I lost Monday's post that took me 2 hrs to compose ...still haven't re written it.

Today ... I have had 3 stupid birds (well once was maybe the same bird twice) inside today in the space of 30 mins. I maybe have had like 3 in 3 years before.

I had the glass sliding door open so the Brothers could come and go as I was folding the clean clothes *gasp* (trying to impress my hubby and since Mother's day is coming)while I was watching S & J play outside.

I saw a bird flying about inside suddenly the stupid bird was banging his (I didn't check but no female would be that stupid) head repeatedly against the shut windowpane. So I had to catch him in a cloth and gently let him go out the window ... had to push the screen out.

Ten minutes later - he or his friend was back again - head banging.I opened the other window and off he flew. This time I asked S to close the door .

Oddly - it was open !

I digress ...This kid has a door closing obsession.He has to close doors, drawers, highchair harness belt, everything even the toilet lid (that is called a door too) , my top/bra (after nursing he calls it a door too pulls my bra,shirt back down. He helps pull my jeans up after I 'go' -LOL - [rarely alone] he points and says door).

Twenty minutes later I go back to kitchen/family room and another flippin' flappin' bird (he was different)is making a racket and flying around madly... there better not be no bird sh*t ...ewwww. I shooed him out the door too.

Now the kitteh ... where was she ?
Outside playing in the jungle (cause she is so little all the plants & bushes are like tall trees).She loves to play outside.Not that I want to encourage her to chase/kill birds but she could at least scare them away by her presence. At night we will keep her inside.She loves to stalk us already ...pounces and tackles our ankles as we pass by the table or bed.

We get a few native birds but not many with a dog. He is 11yrs old so he doesn't care if the birds eat his biscuits. I hate the pesky Minah birds and black crows who come to eat them though.

On dog chow ... yesterday I caught the Brothers tipping the dog's water out for the umpteenth time and sampling his Meaty bites.

Honestly, I feed them good food and they throw it on the floor ...but to prefer meaty bites What the !

Well,I suppose they make them in a fancy M shape now and looking like little meat balls.

Have your heard the miracle toddler diet ... or the meaty bite diet joke (AKA ask a stupid question ...

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet),you don't get enough variation ( the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet).

Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet! Over the years you may have noticed that most two years olds are trim.It came to me one day over a cup of blackcoffee and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason.

After consultation with paediatricians, X-ray technicians, and distraught mums, I was able to formulate this new diet. It is inexpensive,offering great variety and sufficient quantity.You may want to consult you doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good luck!!!

DAY ONE----

Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with strawberry jam. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jam over your face and clothes.

Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk ( 3 sips only, then spill the rest)

Dinner: A dry stick, two cheerios and a button, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.

Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor....


DAY TWO-----

Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch: Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Meaty bites (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack: Lick a lollipop until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour grape juice over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon -then flick at the wall.


DAY THREE-----

Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays lollipop from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of your best chair.

Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red cordial. Try to laugh some cordial through nose, if possible.


FINAL DAY----

Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar.. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog or cat.

Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that lollipop and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

One of my twins is a shocking eater !
What do your toddlers eat ?
What have they eaten - they shouldn't have ?

---

I almost forgot ... it's Thursday and last week I promised you Tom too hot ...my widdle Contribution to Widdle Shammrocks Hot Hunk Thursday

So I am sneaking it in ...

Smiley Saturday

Another pink edition of Smiley Saturday hosted by Lightening. It was a week of highs and lows as my other little darling has been unwell this week with high temperatures up to 41 degrees. Still not 100% but he is okay.

I actually received my swap surprise before Easter but because we went away I never got to finish posting what I received



Thanks Jeanie ... I can't wait to make some gingerbread 'people', use my pumpkin oil melt (I hope it smells like pumpkin pie) - my heels will be soon be smooth and grateful (LOL how did you guess I am run off my feet) and the little hearts are divine. The little drawers will be very useful too. I was tickled pink.

I am still smiling because of this joke I got by email -I know I posted it yesterday but just in case you missed it...

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mum came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mum waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

Kids gotta love them can't tie them to a tree....though reading this post by Jen @ Amazing trips I am in awe of how she does it (-opps no she doesn't tie them to a tree) with a smile even. I smile laugh, shake my head and cry with her and nod and feel so blessed I only have twins.

Can you please keep clicking here to make my friend Tiff smile and cause doesn't that sweet little doggie make you smile ...give him a pat with your mouse.


see below why !

♥

52 blessings ...Grateful Friday

... I grateful for my Friends - today I had a play date with some friends (who I met, after my daughter died, at a pregnancy loss support group) - we have all lost babies and gone through subsequent pregnancies with little ones today from 6 months to 2 yrs ... and one lady B has three weeks to go with her surprise bundle.

The Brothers love the play centre we went to. It was lovely to cuddle a sweet little girl and have her munch on my fingers and raisin toast.

Two of my oldest (though younger than me) and dearest school friends emailed me to say they had been thinking about me and wanted to catch up - it made my day.

I am also grateful that a very precious little girl Ivy is on the mend after being very ill the last few days. I have known this baby girl since she was a line on pee stick and she melts my heart every time.

Lastly ... this joke my friend Z sent it to me - we met randomly on the Internet and she also lost her firstborn son in 2004 - we have since met in real life twice though she lives over 1000km away in Queensland. She cracks me up and we catch up on MSN quite a bit. She has a precious little girl 16 months old and is cooking another right now. She sends me wicked jokes

A little touch of family joy with a young child ...

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mum came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mum waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

♥

testing ... and learning new things

Every day I am learning something new ... today I learnt you can't leave draft posts in the wings ... blogger just publishes them the date/time you first started.

I was hoping to get a few under my keyboard and ahead for November.

Well, I have to say, I happy to say, that COPY & PASTE is available. It just makes it a little more work.Then I paste a joke or funny picture in the place of that draft post.

Laugh at me or along if you will but I honestly didn't know.

Four Fathers
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.

The nurse tells the first man, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins!"

"What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets!"

"Wow, what a coincidence! I work for 3M Corporation!"

The nurse tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence! I work for Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask what's wrong.

"What's wrong? I work for Seven-Up!"

Give us a push ...

Lately with the weather being so lovely we have been going out to have a swing everyday ...while I hang the nappies & clothes on the line.I get my daily exercise...walking and back forth to the swing.

The boys love the swing and so do I. I remember that feeling of carefree swinging , hair flying back and letting it touch the ground ...jumping off mid air (lucky the boys are strapped in).

The dark clouds hovered back and fro all day and I only just rescued my clean and almost dry clothes in the nick of time as the rain tumbled down again.

have a giggle..

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband. "It is 3 o'clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push!"
"Did you help him?" she asks. "No. I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man reluctantly gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello. Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!"