Friday, 4 April 2014

The C word and marking time.

My life is marked with big medical events on the calendar ...but at the same time not.

The perils of being at the mercy of public health system. (I might add a great system when it works in your favour. The local base hospital were prompt to treat and drain my haematoma , by ultrasound -twice this week.I am very grateful)

Yesterday, one Sydney hospital called to organise my PET scan - first I needed the dates for when my radiation would be starting and finishing. The PET scan needs to be 12wks after I finish radiotherapy - though the Radiation oncologist wanted me to have it in 2.5 months time ???

Um *$#@ !

I called the Radiation unit where I have radiation [2hrs away] - no dates yet, no deal and instead of 4wks I was told - it might actually be 

6wks before I start, 
+ 6-7wks of radiation - 

add 12wks recommended wait after I finish radiation (due to inflammation)
They weren't able to give me much information , too early in the process.
So ? almost 6 months before I can get the PET scan.
Um *$#@ ! , *$#@ !, *$#@ !

It will be eight months since I was diagnosed, 7 months since the Chest CT showed things we weren't expecting ...the nodules on my lungs and lesion in my neck ? maybe my liver. 

The PET is supposed to monitor them and check for growth or NOT; it probably can't tell if Breast cancer or Sarcoma related ?

I re-called the PET suite, while I was on hold they rang one doctor (Not THE Dr I saw 2 weeks ago-she is away) and he said they could do it 6wks after I finish radiation.The lovely lady was 'confused' and is going to follow it up further.

Still till long.
Still too scary.
In six months a lot can happen.
I don't even want to think about it.

Today's quote

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”
― Abraham Lincoln

Enjoy each day and dwell not so much on tomorrow -
because if I worry think too far ahead my heart will break. !

So I am taking things one day at a time, it is the logical thing to do and worrying isn't going to hasten the process.

Cancer is a process, like all disease and illnesses.

In cancer we're always marking time , making decisions or being subject to decisions.
There are choices to be made, different treatments, many impossible possible options, with breast cancer and especially now with sarcomas. Different doctors have their own demarcation lines. It sucks they can't agree.

Waiting is *$#@ !* it is difficult to not let things get to me. 
Cancer (twice in 21 months) is a haunting situation; it feels like I will never ever relax again.

In happier news in the last few days many kind words have uplifted me, the Nurses at oncology, a few friends and church acquaintances, receiving in the mail :a daily devotional book from my SIL, several card (from the same friend) and a little peaceful thoughts kit and purple butterfly ring from a lovely blogging friend.