Last week I noticed a sore spot in my breast while running , and then a discharge from my nipple. I saw my GP the next day, and booked a mammogram and ultrasound for a week later (yesterday) .
I 'knew' before I left the building , foreboding sinister thoughts derailing sensible, keep calm ones. I wasn't even home an hour when the GP's receptionist called to book a followup appointment today at 2pm.The report said my scan and mammogram are abnormal most likely 'breast neoplasm' and an immediate biopsy was recommended.
I had the 'punch' needle biopsy this afternoon. They squeezed me in straight after I saw the GP . She called the Surgeon who said the biopsy would be a good idea. The u/s lady, about my age, kept telling me - I was a 'good girl' and calling me 'Sis' ...I can laugh a little at how silly it sounded to me, but she was lovely. Kind.
I barely felt the bad ass needle - after a little local anaesthetic , adrenaline or whatever - it didn't hurt, maybe slightly uncomfortable. The punch biopsy was like a sudden unexpected jolt ...
I will see the Surgeon, Monday 8am, in Sydney. He is a great specialist ; a Professor even. His receptionist said if , I need surgery, he has already booked me in for Wednesday next week.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified or consumed by anxiety.
We traveled a similar road barely 2 years ago.
I am not being a pessimist.
I slept maybe 2-3 hrs last night - once the worry wheels start churning and there’s no way to put the brakes on.
It is one step at a time from here.
There are miles to go... there is no way out but through.
IF you believe in prayer or mantras, then say oneWhat if I allow myself to put the outcome in God’s hands and just live intensely in the present, absorbing and embracing life as it happens? Emilie Lemmons
I feel blessed to have my choice of specialist, one , whom I am very comfortable with and trust completely - he saved my husband's life. Ironically, he is the very same surgeon who operated on my husband's malignant tumour just over 2 years ago.
I decide to Google the Prof's details minutes before I saw the GP. I could not remember his surname (at that moment), just his first name and the private hospital, breast - bingo.
We will travel to Sydney on Sunday. I don't know how long we will stay.Our cat and dog are coming too.
New International Version (©1984)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
For information on how to be 'breast aware' and look for any changes in your breasts, visit the Breast Cancer Network Australia website - section on breast changes and breast awareness.
PS - I apologise if you are family or a good friend reading this before I've really had a chance to tell you, I am sorry. It is the only way I can deal with this , all at once in this message. I just can't put the words together eloquently on the phone . I have to hold it together anyway I can.