Thursday, 2 June 2011

How to be happy ~ If only

My roses make me happy, intrinsically tying me to my happy place. 

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”  Mercedes Lackey

Though mingled with the salty tears of grief and loss , I love my garden.

One of my favourite things raindrops on roses ;)
I've had a few.
Well more than a few, truth be told.
My biggest 'recent' regret about our tree change is leaving Charlotte's garden, her roses .

So many memories are planted here.
The house we bought for our baby who never got to live here, except in our hopes and dreams and then in our hearts.

The roses were given to us at her funeral.
Her funeral being the same day we officially became the owners of the house [along with the mortgage].

That is the way it rolled. 
It happened just like that.

We came for a brief final inspection before settlement. 
On our way to bury our firstborn, a baby girl, stillborn 6 days prior.

The agent was gentle. He said he was sorry for our loss. Then he told us his own newborn daughter had passed way from meningitis aged just 18days old (2 yrs before). He offered his & his wife's phone number.{It's another story but I met her down the track. Then, he died tragically 2 years ago}

Things weren't right. We couldn't delay settlement without monetary penalty, though we had good reasons too, besides a funeral.

It was the first day my Dad could be discharged from hospital [He was receiving treatment for leukemia].
I hadn't seen my Dad, since before Charlotte was born, till we got there [crematorium]
I sobbed into his arms, as he cried too, in the crematorium gardens.

Charlotte's garden became our happy place.
We turned the soil, measured out and laid the garden edging, constructed the wishing well and planted her roses. 

Watching them bloom seemed to take the raw edges off our grief.
Her roses have given immense pleasure ~ to admire the colours , touch {sans ouchy thorns} and most of all the fragrant blooms.

They're colourful, we have every colour, yellows, orange, pinks, mauve, red and white.
Month after month, year after year . They bloom almost all year , save for when we give them a good winter prune.
The smell of one red rose can fill our house.
In a small way, a measure of Her presence

We have transplanted three roses - "Charlotte" and the "Charlotte" standard and "Mother's Love" into half wine-tubs & a pot. We will take cuttings of all the others and hope they strike. The Children's rose bush is almost taller than the house.

Her garden is in our little courtyard, private and quiet. 
We will no doubt re-create a measure of it.

Many times over I have found the following true. 
If ever you're feeling depressed and a bit frustrated on a cold winter day, get out into the garden and start pruning the roses. Honestly, you'll feel so much better.Peter Cundell
Any season being in the garden is therapeutic.
Even when we are busy and neglect the roses or forget to water them , they continue to bloom.

The constant rain of the last few days knocked them about and spoiled the blooms on the bushes , but in a few days I hope they will be flush with new blooms before I prune. We have bugs galore and black spot too (The photos are straight out of my camera - no photo-shopping you just can't see it).

I took these photos today. Roses and any flowers make me happy.

Naomi @Seven cherubs is posting 30 days of happiness. She wrote about flowers today too and leaving the past behind yesterday.  

She inspired me to write about my flowers too.
I can't promise I'll commit to 30 days , I'll just pop a post in here and there.

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