Tuesday 28 July 2009

Mountains or molehills

or making a mountain out of a molehill...whatever !

It seems lately everything is a mountain and I am struggling. My to do list is undone and my in box is overfull (as is my email and feed reader).
Lightbulbs are exploding in my head as I despair that nothing at all seems to get done despite my good ideas and best intentions.

The path in front of me seems overwhelming at times. It isn't always the big things that wear me down but the constant battles to clean, cook ,budget and maintain a happy household as well as make sure everyone's needs are met.

I was also reading a book in relation to deciding whether a child actions or behaviours or the happening things are a mountain or a molehill.It was interesting to consider and take the long view ...

Does it really matter if he wears baggy pants ?
Does it matter if he hasn't emptied the bin ? ...well no and yes one bag today and tomorrow a mounting mess.
Does it matter if leave folding the clean clothes another day or that dishes are in the sink ?

How we react or respond can also make mountains out of molehills both for ourselves and heap that attitude on our children /spouses.

A very dear friend of mine with young daughters has a very cluttered and untidy house. It also needs a good clean . She works full time and now so does her Dh ...he usually gets home 3hrs earlier but still nothing much changes. No surprise to many ;) of us supermums.

I am not bothered by their 'mess' we only get to visit a few times a year because we live a long way apart. I feel for her and I know it is not her choice.To them maybe it's all molehills. It just isn't important enough.

I know it just wouldn't work in our house , the chaos that reigns in their house would have us tearing our hair out and strips off each other. We would snip and snap constantly.

Too much mess is our house feels like a mountain and creates stress when we run late and can't find important papers,the chequebook or even the twins preschool gear. When the drawers are empty and the clean laundry is piled high waiting to be folded by the good fairies tempers flare.

I know sometimes we are masters at making molehills out of mountains.Except for some organisation the long view says getting basic things done helps minimise the mountains in our lives. Putting off 'our little molehills' soon gets out of hand and you have an impossible mountain to climb just to get to the other side...or the bright side.

I still stick to the mantra this,too shall pass .
As Regina says
  • When in doubt, just take the next small step.
  • Take a deep breath. It calms the mind
  • Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
  • If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
I found this view at Unconstrained Thinking quite contrary but it was food for though sometimes it actually works to make a mountain out of a molehill !

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Super Sarah said...

Great post, very timely. I finally got off my butt and folded all the clean laundry today and then cleaned the bathroom and I feel so much better for it. I find starting small and getting bigger works, especially for me since having a second baby. I have a BIG to-do list and a little one. I try and do at least 2 things off the little list daily, even if it is -wash a load of laundry or -unload the dishwasher. Then I try and do one or two things off the big list weekly, like -file paperwork -book in car-service. The more little things I cross off, the more motivated I am do get to the bigger stuff.

Jen at Semantically driven said...

I know when my house is a mess, my mind is too. Sometimes it's unavoidable but a tidy house makes for a much less stressed me which is good for everyone.

Journeyer said...

Yeah, I had the same too a few weeks ago. The house was a mess & everyone was cranky, especially me. I sat down and had a "good hard think" about what I was spending my time on. Seems there were lots of things that were either fun to do, or I felt obliged to do - none of which included housework/homemaking. I realised that the things that were important to me aren't necessarily the things I enjoy doing, which does include housework, but I feel much better after doing them. Things are chugging along much better now.

Anonymous said...

I think I am becoming the queen of making a mountain out of a molehill these days. I think it is mainly because I let the molehill sit there alone for a few days that it grows and festers. For some reason it doesn't just disappear. I need time to do a big clean and start with a clean slate that is mountain free.
I hope your mountains recede and your molehills are manageable.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I agree with Jen. my house is a mess and my mind too. I feel better when the house is clean but it is not always possible.

Mum-me said...

Have you heard of FlyLady? I had a good look at her stuff and the most important thing I got out of it was that just taking 15mins at a time to clean up an area or declutter a room can make such a difference - and it does! It's easy to make mountains out of molehills, but like you said some molehills need to be tackled before they become mountains!

jeanie said...

The reason is there are such good sayings ("don't sweat the small stuff", "chose your battles") is because they are good reminders in life that perspective is required in all situations.

Great post.

Brenda said...

Hear hear Trish.

My cleaning mantra...well I don't really have one since I don't really clean my house anymore.


♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

@Supersarah ...you've inspired me...tomorrow

@Jen - glad I am not the only one.

@Journeyer - I agree I do want to get the housework done because everything runs more smoothly ...but not at the expense of other things.Glad things are better for you.

@myrelish - love the last line and same back to you.

@Secretmom - yes not always possible but I agree I feel better ;)

@Mumme - I joined it ages ago (blush) but I don't make the time to check the site.The 15mins is good advice.

@Jeanie - great advice. I should write them out on post it notes ;).

@Breanda LOLZ - you made me smile ;)

Heather said...

I LOVE this post! It's so true. Though I hate to admit it my house is one of those cluttered messes.... and it bugs me, but I'd rather have happy kids than a spotless house. :)

PlanningQueen said...

I am not a super clean freak, but my stress levels go a bit mental if the house is messy. I had that earlier this week when we arrived back from our week end away.

I also live by the matnra"that this will pass"!

Michelle said...

An untidy house brings me down and it is wonderful to walk into a room and have it feel all open and clean. For me, it is usually clean but, with a 4yo and an 18mo, rarely tidy and I try not to beat myself up about it too much. I love that Phyllis Diller quote "Cleaning the house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing." It makes me feel less of a failure in this department! :-)

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