Monday, 22 December 2008

Hardly There

It 's almost Christmas and that time of year we are more painfully aware of the loved ones that are no longer with us or those that never made it past the sanctuary of the womb.

I found this quote somewhere ...

"though in reality you were hardly there ~ in my heart you were everything"

Christmas Angel...

I have a little angel
I hang upon my tree
She reminds me of another that
I cannot touch or see.
As I place my lovely angel midst
the sparkling lights on high
My other little angel roams the
dazzling, star lit sky.

As I celebrate at Christmas time
God's child who came to Earth
I think back to that special day-
My own beloved child's birth.
As long ago, the world was shown
A wondrous star above,
within my heart there shines a light
of pure undying love.

Perhaps for one, she'll put aside
her thoughts of heavenly things,
remembering this time on Earth
she'll soar on shimmering wings.
Join little ones with shining eyes and
thoughts of Christmas glee,
The holy day, she'll spend with us-
her earthly family.

Perhaps we have a feeling that
our little one is near
As she soothes the sad place in our hearts
and dries our secret tears.
Then she'll take flight on outstretched wings
for heaven up above
while we receive the greatest gift
of God's eternal love.
~ Alice Check Beaverton

Thank you for Tiff and ~William~ for sharing this poem with me in 2006.

Four years ago I didn't want to celebrate Christmas.

Three years ago we were approaching Christmas joyfully barely 8 weeks pregnant with our twin sons. We shared the joyful news on Christmas day - uncertain but hopeful.

It isn't possible to put into words how much it meant to us after losing Charlotte. She was due December 1st but was stillborn 1st September.

I struggle to imagine what if's ... if she didn't die and /or would they be here at all...?

There are seasons in the our lives that we must all go through ...they make us what we are today.

Faith , Hope , Believe ...Pray ! - If you have time to pray for sweet, precious Kayleigh - a real Christmas Miracle, who really needs your prayers.

oh and Laugh ...I just remembered this post a year ago yesterday

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Debbie said...

It is a season for hope, isn't it? I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I am so happy to have gotten to know you this year.

Carly said...

Beautiful post Trish, Sending you my love and remembering our babies together :)

Little Drummer Boy is my favourite Carol from my childhood :)

Dina said...

I'm sorry you lost your baby.

I can imagine the holidays would be hard.

I'm glad you have found things to be happy about.

I think the pain never goes away, but maybe happy things kind of cover it up.

Kate said...

Here from ICLW. I love that quote.

alicia said...

christmas can be such a hard time! and I am glad you have thigns to be happy for this christmas, I hope it is a great one for you!

M said...

Christmas stirs up so many emotions. You got up, you carried on. There's something in that. :)

Beautiful Mess said...

What a beautiful poem. I have often thought about the what if's. It's hard to think about what could have when you will never know the answers.

Erin said...

Beautiful poem, and post. I am sorry you lost your baby girl, I can not imagine what you did and are going through. Christmas can be a hard time for a lot of us. Hang on to your hope, and faith, and little boys

Melody said...

Lovely post Trish. Time does heal wounds but we will never forget or wonder aout the 'what ifs'. I am glad I have the attitude of 'live goes on' and it does...though I will never, ever forget.

Thank you for sharing the poem and the Carol.

Lilly's Life said...

There are seasons in the our lives that we must all go through ...they make us what we are today.

This says it all Trish - beautiful words. I love the carol too.

Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas with your boys. You know a ball on your tree with Charlottes name on it maybe a good ide. It is a special tradition we have in our family for everyone including those who are not with us.. She is a part of your family and forever will be.

Glad you got the little parcel - and you enjoy that face mask when you get some time to relax. Take Care.

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