Monday, 13 October 2008

The Love meter and an award ...

The Love Meter ... Love by numbers ???

Would 4 hugs a day keep you happy ?
I read an article in the newspaper recently that said a poll of 8000 couples found the secret formula to long lasting relationships is ...

Cuddles: 4 a day
Romantic gestures: 3 a month (e.g.back massage - Oh yes !)
Romantic walks: 2 a month
Romantic gifts: 2 a month
Romantic meal: home 3 a month out, 2 a month
Breakfast in bed: 1 a month
Serious chats: 6 a month
Visit to pub/club: 1 a month
Cosy evenings in: 7 a month
Clean house: 3 a month
Night out without each other: 1 a month
Cinema or Theatre: 1 a month
Short break: 2 a year
Holiday: 2 a year
...equates to 22 periods of quality time


Please share how you keep your love alive ?
how do you feed your meter up ?

What I believe it all means to me is we need time together I think it doesn't matter what you do ...but 124 hugs would go a bit of the way.

Coincidentally , I have been quietly following Sarah @ Burgeon's Marriage Builder Monday ... this step 4
from last week (today's isn't up yet)
4. The Sharing Tool

by Gail Rodgers

Share as much of life as possible! Share your time, share your thoughts, share your interests, and share his interests. This is a tool that must be deliberately engaged or life will push it aside. Time spent together doing things affords a connection opportunity. History together is built one event at a time. Make sure you are inputting positive events that build a positive archive. Plan dates… a movie night, dinner out, or even a coffee are good ideas to keep sharing alive!
Shh *wink* I am working on this one -stay tuned !

I also received this award from Sarah @ Burgeon

Thank you Sarah what a blessing to have such a lovely new friend!

This award has a questionnaire attached so here goes!

1. Do you have the same friends since childhood?

Three of us (from high school) are still firm friends almost 29 years later and see each other for lunch every few months as well as family get togethers a few times a year.

I have another friend from early childhood who is one day older than me. We have been friends since we were 5yrs - she lives 8 hrs away so we don't see each other much.

Another friend, L I met on a family beach holiday at 16yrs, later we became housemates for a year and still have a close and strong friendship.

Another friend, G I met at through church as teenager and still is a dear friend (the only one I know who blogs a little). She has spent a lot of time as a missionary in Bolivia.

2. What do you value most about your friends?

To echo Sarah ... I truly value their unconditional love, support and acceptance.

3. Are your friends your sounding boards?

Yes! we are to each other a shoulder to lean on and someone to laugh with.

4. What is your favorite activity to share with your friends?

... #1 Eating while #2 drinking a little wine and #3 TALKING ...or Laughing out loud.

That wasn't too hard! The rules say I need to choose four friends to pass this award on to. Such a difficult decision with so many beautiful and amazing friends to choose from! I like to break the rules ... so in no particular order

1. Janice @Chasing myself

2. Jeanie @ Jeanie in Paradise

3. Alicia @ Pieces of me

4. Bettina @ Dances to the beet of her own drum

5.Womb for Improvement

6. Jenn at Jenn's Den

7.Alison @ 3TimesKewl

8.Lani @ Me and Boo

9.Lilly @ Lilly's Life

10.Just me

11. Amanda @ Learning to Breathe

Stop by and say hello to these wonderful women! and this man

12. Xbox4 nappyrash

I have more people I'd like to share it with but I don't like # 13 ...

Never miss a post


Lilly said...

A lot of great information there Trish and yes we have to work at relationships. I love the number list - think its a good yardstick actually. I am printing all of this off to read again. Thanks for the link!

Martin said...


Too kind Trish, thanks you.

A spot for you on my page forever!

Hey it's said...

I loved this post! I believe one of the only things we take with us from this life is our relationships. (knowlege is the other) But I have been working on using a pleasant voice when speaking to my husband, it has been an amazing experiment! The smiles come easier & he is nicer, it has been a big improvement from such a little change!

Crazed Nitwit said...

Well slap my face and call me stupified!!! Thanks Trish, this means so much coming from you.


Melody said...

Great post Trish (I have added you to my blogroll by the way!)

One thing my husband and I do is share everything - we talk a lot and are probably best friends. We sit outside most early evenings over a drink and have a chit chat about anything and everything - mainly our future.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Trish. :)

I heard about that article listing the recipe for successful relationships and I reckon it's a crock! lol In all seriousness, I think it boils down to whether or not you put time and effort into your relationship not how you do it.

Gill said...

I'm going to print that formula out and leave it next to hubby's side of the bed.... you know as a little "nudge,nudge,hint,hint" Work is kind of getting in the way of our quality time at the moment.

Anonymous said...

Always such a beautiful thing to see friends being cherished!

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

@ Lilly - yes we do need to work hard and have fun along the way. This creates a bit of fun I guess.

@Xbox - don't want to upset ET share it with her.

@Amy - yes I must work on this too ...with all my family.

@Janice - I truly value your friendship

@Melody - yes that is a great way to,unwind at the end of abusy day.

@Bettina - yes a lot of important stuff is missing ...respect,trust and other intimacy *wink* but I feel this can inject a bit of fun into a jaded relationship at the very least.The Marraige builder on sharing is what strikes more of a chord with me.Time and effort is most important.

@Gill - I attached it to the bathroom mirror -so he can read it while shaving.

MissyBoo said...

Oh shucks. Thanks Trish :-)
I am good, thanks for asking!
Now when and if I ever find myself back in a relationship, I'll head back here for the rules lol

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

Lani - I am working with it on my toddlers ...maybe try to teen too. I guess it can't hurt any relationship.

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

LOL I meant the hugs mostly and the quality time ones - adapted to suit.

Liz said...

Thanks Trish.

My first award. I'm now a bonafide blogger!

Jenn said...

Aw, thanks for including me Trish! :)

As for marriage - I try to remember that my husband deserves some of me each day, too. Some nights after I get L to bed I just feel so sapped that it's easy to let time with my husband slide. But, if I consciously say to myself, I'm going to give him 15 minutes of my time - just sitting with him, talking with him about his day, etc - before I know it we've spent two hours together, just enjoying time with each other. My husband really needs that, and I do too, even though frequently I don't recognize the need until after it's been met.

MissyBoo said...

PS There is an award over at my blog for you because I love you

Amanda said...

Awww, thank you hon, I am so flattered! I will play along when I get home today :)

alicia said...

those are some wonderful marriage tips!!! thanks for sharing!
and yay award! thank you!!!

Louisa said...

This is a great post! I think the "5 Languages of Love" by Garry Chapman is a great book and something my husband and I have found really helpful in our marriage. BTW I would love to feature your blog on WTBAY so if you are keen, please email me with your fave 3 posts! Thanks so much, Louisa :)

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

@Womb for improvement: my pleasure you are a great blogger

@Jenn- very important when kids seem to rule our day and night life

@Amanda - thank you ...

@Alicia - you deserve it and tips can increase our joy in marriage

@ Louisa - I love the book and I have the CD too

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