Lightening's post sure made me smile, I really needed it, because ...
I am sorry I haven't got much in me tonight I've got nothing much to smile about.
Well, that isn't true, really. It's more like...I have nothing new (not talking about the buy nothing challenge). I feel overwhelmed by so many things.
I feel guilty about mistakes I have made,things I don't do with my little boys and how I have been angry a lot lately. I am ashamed of the way my teen and I fight incessantly. I do my best not to win the 'game' and nag but even after 3 days at school camp he came home pressing all my buttons. I can't win.
I feel isolated and abandoned by friends ... I feel down and wanting.Some things I can't talk about on here. Some people. A lot of hurt.I am feeling a little down about lots of little things and a few big things but I know it will pass.
This, too, will pass.
Okay ... a few things that made me smile .
Though, I still haven't sorted about new glasses for S - after last Saturday's $crewup when my husband mowed them - S only had them a week . I did make a call today and a lovely lady whose little boy was born the same day as S & J - she understood (toddlers) and is going out of her way to help... I hope !
I found a new border trick (see below and Friday's post) for my images. Very cool. I will show you more tomorrow.
My favourite smiley thing is waking up every morning to the tousled hair and wide smiles of S & J -as they grapple trying to lift my shirt to nurse... and if they both wake together - to be the first. I can't help but smile ...even after only 4-5 hrs broken sleep.
Yes, I am still doing my 30 day challenge ...
Revive our heart
Day Eleven: (for yesterday because FireFox froze and blogger post verification was giving me grief)
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Eph. 5:22
... it is all about respect and I have to keep working on this.
their suggestion ...Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.
Hmm harder with s & J now - but it is always sweet to see a couple holding hands.
Day Twelve:
"With all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love."
Eph. 4:2 ... He does !
Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?I don't have a lack of things to praise - he is amazing.I just don't take the time to do it or I take it for granted the things he does. Part of my feeling down is about his long suffering ...I feel bad for making him suffer.
Blogger still have post word verification and I hate it ...why me!
♥
12 comments :
Oh I feel your pain with the glasses. My son went through SEVEN pairs last year. I am in despair!
:)
Sounds like lots of challenges for you currently … and I hope you’ll be able to ‘release’ the ‘guilt’ … for it does no one any good and ‘robs’ everyone. Dealing with teen-aged kids can get anyone down … but you’re wise not to try to ‘win’ any games. The best strategy is to love (yourself & him) and tell the truth while holding him accountable for his choices. You’re right … all things DO pass ;--)
Those two boys are QTs indeed … and it’s no wonder you’re tired and overwhelmed … but it’s wonderful you’re able to find things to smile about anyway.
I’m participating in Smiley Saturday for the first time myself this week at Small Reflections.
Hugs and blessings.
I love the border! Don't feel guilty. You need all your energy for all you have to do - teenagers and toddlers - wow, that's challenging. Take care of yourself.
Hey Trish
I wish I was there to make you a cuppa and give you a break from the demands of parenting. How is it that any of us survive the isolation of parenting????
You are so right, those feelings do pass. It is like a wave that rises and falls and washes away.
I so hope you have awoken this morning and the wave has broken.
Your photography is FANTASTIC too by the way. Have been meaning to say so for weeks, but I am always so busy that I just don't get time to leave comments.
Take care and stay safe.
*huggggggggggggg*
I hope things get better soon, luv.
And even with all these frustrations, you manage to smile. How could you not with those beaming, beautiful boys?
I hope this week gives you many more opportunities to smile.
Cellobella :OMG - I thought two pairs in 5 weeks was bad... and your son is older. Maybe I will need to rob a bank .
Storyteller :thanks - in the warmth of morning sun I do feel better.It is such a beautiful day. My son has also gone to Battle of Bands practice (something for school at a friends house) so it's quieter here.
Joh: my toddlers are exasperatingly funny and busy but the teen challenges me more.I really liked your tough love post.
Thanks Megan too for your encouraging words.I will post the link for the borders -got to find it again.
thanks Naomi:I know they will, I have to change my attitude and pick less battles with my teen.
Anja- yes I could after I started to write the post I had a change of 'attitude' and I do have lots of reasons to smile especially when I go blog hoping ;)
Never fear the wise OLD woman is here. Teens and parents fight. Ot's par for the course. Best weapon: disengage. Refuse to argue. Tell him this conversation will continue when he can talk to you in a normal tone of voice. When I say disenage I meant completely. Pick up a book, a brother, look out the woindow. My other thing that works sometimes is if you do not calm down you'll lose your phone priviledges. Try only one thing at a time, otherwise they lose everything. Do not feel guilty,. He knows exactly where you're buttons are.
Everyone gets frustrated and angry. You are human. Take deep breaths, walk away if you need to. I pray every single night for serenity within myself and to be calm.
My email os MamaKRB@aol.com if you ever need to vent privately. I've been there with the teen thing, still there but calmer now.
Love you. HUGS!
I'm sorry you are having such an awful time of things at the moment, come and have a play day and I will feed you chocolate Lindt balls...mmmm balls...
I'm sorry you're feeling awful at the moment. As the others have said, don't feel guilty about what you do or don't do with your kids. We all do our best with what we have within us emotionally and physically at that time.
Aren't boobie cuddles the best :-) You're so lucky to get double cuddles.
Don't have much to say except to second what everyone else has said and send you some huge hugs
Big hugs to you.
Must be something in the water. alot of people seem a bit down at the moment. Winter blues??
Anyway, I think you are an amazing lady. To feel like garbage and still smile. Amazing !!!!
Yes, this too shall pass. Even the valley has beauty.
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