Zen thoughts and mine ...

Zen Thoughts

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
   I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave
   me alone (if I am in a bad mood).
   


2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
   flat tyre.( It was a tyre blowout on a brand new tyre too)
   


3. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. ( is it stuffy in here ?)
   


4. No one is listening until you pass wind.
   


5. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
   


6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of loan payments.
   


7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
   That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their
   shoes.
   


8. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. (lucky my husband doesn't fish or even like fish much)
   


9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
   


10. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
    


11. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
    


12. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
    


13. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
    


14. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    


15. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
    


16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.(just ask my husband)
    


17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.(I'm Listening)
    


18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
    


19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and got slapped on our bottom...Then
    things get worse.



20. Never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
    


21. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
    


22. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. (especially me)
    


23. The most important ingredient for a long marriage is a short memory. (As long as it is his..)

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