My Little Drummer Boys: Have I told you lately - Things I know

Friday, 30 November 2012

Have I told you lately - Things I know

I have a lot of worries right but I know it won't change things by pouring out my fears.

I haven't found support in a real life breast cancer support group as I did when my daughter was born still.

I spoke briefly to a counselor the other day , not much in private so I was guarded.

Right now , I feel so anxious as I struggle to believe that things will be okay.

The self doubt and worry over my future , my husband and childrens' health .

My family, friends and faith are there for me but still I struggle. I can't explain it. I don't have anyone really close anymore.

I found this poem again the other day - I know these words have held up when I am feeling low.

To Believe

To believe is to know that every day
is a new
beginning.
It is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come
true.
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,
To know the
wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.
To believe
is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's
eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we
learn to love.
To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies
within us.
When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
To
believe is to know we are not alone,
That life is a gift and this is our time
to cherish it.
To believe is to know that wonderful surprises
are just
waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.
If only
we believe.
Author Unknown

This song...

(yes, I am old sop for an aging raspy rocker)

How do you balance 'worry' with living a life well ... do you plan for the future or live for today ?

Things I Know with SMOM

♥

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Rachel · 646 weeks ago

I am the biggest worrier ever. It's consuming and I wish I could change it but it's easier said than done.

I hope you are feeling better soon xo

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 646 weeks ago

thank you Rachel I am working on it.

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kirstyrussell75 52p · 646 weeks ago

I worry about my son's future a lot. But I can't let it consume me all the time as there is no point in worrying about what may or may not happen. Given that, my husband and I both believe that he will always live with us and we are planning for that eventuality. But I try not to dwell too much on those worries as it is still years away and who knows what might happen between now and then? That probably doesn't help you out at all Trish - but in the end I recognise and acknowledge my worries and have a think about how I may approach them but I try not to dwell too much on them until I need to. Thinking of you and hoping you get the support and advice that you need. Take care!
My recent post Then & Now

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 646 weeks ago

Thanks Kirsty - I 've always been a worrier I know I need some strategies to calm myself.

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Lilly · 646 weeks ago

Hi Trish, I would say it's perfectly understandable to feel the way you do. I think it's a great idea to speak with a counsellor, someone who you pour your heart out to without holding back. I think sometimes we have to try not to over think things and just live for the moment in the oment. I am a terrible worrier too but realize stress is terrible for our good health. Sometimes you just have to let it all go and let the Universe do it's thing. We can only try. And just so you know Trish, I love that raspy rocker too. Take care xxlilly
My recent post What does a Rhino have in common with me?

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 646 weeks ago

I will make a proper time with her , it was just a quick introduce from GP oncologist that day.
I am a terrible over thinker too.

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Bachelormum · 646 weeks ago

Don't fear for tmr, just live for now darling. I know these words probably sound trite but concentrating on now stops our crazy minds from sending us crazy. xx
My recent post An advent calendar to remember

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 646 weeks ago

I know I read that poem and tell myself to live for today and enjoy it right now.

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@KallieT · 646 weeks ago

I'm sad you're feeling this way Trish but I think I can understand why. Things that affect us so much set us apart from others who haven't experienced that. I hope you find someone soon who you feel is a kindred spirit, we all need that person in our lives.

Anxiety is a part of my daily life although I don't have the health concern that you do (only fears of similar so I avoid the doctor in case I'm right which I know I'm not but that's my rational brain talking and the irrational side has the upper hand here... Ah anxiety my old friend, I knew you were lurking nearby...) I truly hope you find someone to help you through all this soon xx

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 646 weeks ago

Kallie, that is mostly it - not having someone I can tell exactly and who 'gets it ' like when I lost Charlotte and found kindred spirits - 8yrs ago - who remain friends.

(Ps if you are ever worried about symptoms please see your DR right away)

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themisscinders 66p · 646 weeks ago

Old Rod has the ability to unknowingly get you to hear the words as if they were meant for you. I'm a sucker for the man too ;)

You've been on my mind so much lately [both you and Cath - I hope you guys ended up becoming FB friends, she's an amazing woman and friend]. I've known Cath from about six years before her cancer, and to know how sick she was and to see her still here today when we thought we'd lose her... You truly have someone to look at and know you can do this, it can be done. I know she's in QLD, but she could talk the head off a fish on the phone given the chance! I know she wouldn't mind at all if you wanted an ear to listen and advice on things that she's been through too :)

Lots of love, strength and courage my friend xxx

My recent post things i know – mother of the year

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 646 weeks ago

I joined that FB group and I'm still finding my way in there.
It has lovely ladies in there, in the week or so since I joined I've seen so much support (some are going through really serious stuff medically and in relationships).
Thank you xox

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thekidsareallrightaustralia 29p · 646 weeks ago

Trish I've never been in your situation with your kind of worries, so I don't know that I'd be able to believe or find balance at all. But it seems from your post that you are feeling alone in this, despite the support from your family and friends. If that is your tendency right now then maybe you can work with it, and try meditation to find some peace. It has helped me with anxiety in the past. Thinking of you. xxx
My recent post Things I know, or rather, suspect

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 646 weeks ago

hi Rachel, I do need to find my hubs meditation CD - and work on relieving the anxiety. It's been a bit intense the last 5 months and hardly any time to find a balance.
Thank you xo

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melbo · 646 weeks ago

I don't know what to say to you really because our situations are very different but somehow I sense we are at the same point for different reasons.

I too am full of anxiety for the future but not sure where to turn or who would understand. I know my biggest fear is telling someone what I'm afraid of because they might not get it or might tell me to stop worrying. I will also then worry what they might think of me afterwards. Who needs to add that anxiety?

I don't know that many people are very good at just listening to the worries without feeling they have to offer advice or reassurance. Sometimes it is enough to unload because it is the captive thoughts in your headspace that are causing this unease.

That said, one of the things I know is that I am not always there for people either. I don't mean to be that way but it happens, particularly at times when I feel this way. I stop talking for fear that the only thing that will come out is a litany of woe and that is the last thing I want to burden a friend with, particularly one with her own problems.

I hope you find a good counsellor and eventually, some support within a group setting that meets your needs. I think the counsellor would be the best thing though as they have no vested interest in anything apart from what you have to tell them at that moment. There is some relief in the unburdening for that reason.

Thinking of you . xx

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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Trish · 646 weeks ago

thank you Melbo I get what you mean about I too ... "who would understand. I know my biggest fear is telling someone what I'm afraid of because they might not get it or might tell me to stop worrying. I will also then worry what they might think of me afterwards. Who needs to add that anxiety? "
Hence why I keep my trap shut even when I say I want to talk.
I guess the opportunity to unburden a few general worries here helps a bit,
xox

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@Vicfinch · 646 weeks ago

A lifetime ago I used to spend so much time planning for the future, or forecasting as I called it, that so many moments went rushing by that I didn't even notice them. Ten years ago, when life turned on the head of a pin, I stopped forecasting, and started practising living in the moment that I was in. I still stumble, and get anxious about the unknown, but what always brings me back is focusing on the moment I'm in. I don't make hard fast plans, ,y plans are loose nod organic, things I would like to do...

Be gentle and kind to you Trish. Sending you lots of love light and strength xxx
My recent post Dark spots belong on dalmatians, giraffes and cheetahs

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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Trish 114p · 646 weeks ago

Thank you Vicki. There is a lot to had and said for living in the moment .

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havealaughonme 84p · 646 weeks ago

My heart goes out to you. I've only just started to get involved in the whole blog world and love reading yours. You are an inspiration to me, your words make me realise I have so much to be grateful for. Stay strong but there's nothing like a good blub to help ease some of that anxiety and stress!

1 reply · active 646 weeks ago

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Trish 114p · 646 weeks ago

Thank you for your kind words.

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Lisa · 646 weeks ago

Hi Trish, I used to be a worrier-then I met my husband & had kids...I felt supported by hubby and forced to live in the moment with my kids so I had to let that go. I also learnt from experience as a nurse that we worry about things we don't have control over or when we have a fear of the unknown. Big hugs to you today, stay strong, thinking of you.x
My recent post Monday Meal Madness

1 reply · active 645 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 645 weeks ago

Lisa, I was a nurse and i think that is why I worry more about things I have no control over and I google too much.
Thank you.

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SameliasMum · 645 weeks ago

I'm a live for the day kind of person. Mum is a worrier and I see what it does to her, so I've taken the opposite approach to life.

Sending you big hugs and lot's of love x

1 reply · active 645 weeks ago

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babyamore 53p · 645 weeks ago

hi Anorina, thank you - a visit (cyber) from you always makes my day.

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sannah · 645 weeks ago

Hi Trish,
Sounds like you are in a tough place right now. That is a beautiful poem, and great that you have found something to give you some solace in the hard times.
I used to have big problems with anxiety, and the thing that helped most was meditation. Sounds too easy, I know, but with daily meditation over about 6 weeks I was virtually cured. It is hard to fit in around a family, but I would definitely recommend it.
Big hugs,
Sannah

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