Friday, 2 November 2012

Being Present

I can hardly believe it is Friday already.
I feel a big rugged at the moment . Last week I started Treatment #1 of my Taxol.
The little Drummers both ended up very unwell with Rotavirus  (gastro) , one in hospital for 3 days . I was so busy looking after them I didn't notice any side effects or they were minimal.

This Monday I had #2 - yesterday my back started aching. I didn't sleep well at all from the discomfort . Today the backache is bearable with Nurofen and I started getting nose bleeds today.

All minor side effects and I'm not whinging just saying it feels like I am in a place that while I'd would rather not be at this time - I am and I just have to suck it up.
The effects are cumulative apparently (ie can get worse over time) 


I know some people just don't get it ...the chance.

So what am I going to do ?
  • Think positively
  • Be present and not worry about what is ahead
  • Organise less for the worse days
  • Drink lots of water
  • Go to bed earlier
  • Eat whole-food and fresh fruit
  • Exercise
  • Listen to Music
  • Read 
  • Use my hammock
  • Breathe Deeply
  • (I will speak to the Oncologist and nurse too)
 It might help if I try to finish things ahead of time instead of leaving them to the last minute. I've finally finished some things due Monday, I only started Tuesday...well except that the ATO website won't let me submit it and I have to wait for them to call me about the error code.


Comments (16)

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I think you are amazing. Be gentle with yourself please because even though I haven't met you, you are a part of my world and I want you to get through this ordeal you are experiencing. Really. Take care of yourself. Promise:). You don't have to 'suck it up' I think that is a phrase that should be reserved for princesses who spill drink on their frock or people with relatively minor concerns... you on the other hand I see as a soldier, bravely forging through a life/death struggle.
As carers though we need to care for ourselves first. So please... don't suck it up... nurture yourself and ask for what you want and give yourself what you need:)
Just my 10c worth.
1 reply · active 659 weeks ago
Thank you Joh .
I spoke to that lady from yesterday today and it made my problems small in comparison.
Thank you Mel - it's been a sad week too with my Internet friend very unwell and in severe pain and having palliative care . My heart breaks for her .
I think you should add an item on the list to allow for whinging! You are going through a traumatic time, if you can't discuss the pain, the discomfort, the stress etc now then I don't know when you can. Talking out the awful is sometimes so helpful. You are so strong and positive and so hard on yourself mentally Trish, really you are just amazing. Your attitude is powerful. xx
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1 reply · active 659 weeks ago
Thank you Claire , as much as I try to talk it down I have to keep it real. I was feeling crappy.
I can remember feeling sorry for myself when the kids came down with gastro when we'd just moved into our house in Canberra and I had five kids aged ten and younger...but I didn't have cancer to contend with. I hope you're allowing some pyjama time to be able to relax a bit...thank God it's Saturday tomorrow and hopefully you can have a slow day.
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Cat@jugglingact · 659 weeks ago

Love love love your positive outlook
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Telling it like it is is allowed to Trish. Oh so sorry about your poor sick boy too. I think your positive attitude will see you through. Each day is a step closer to full recovery and you are doing remarkably. Lots of positive thoughts your way.
My recent post Guess where?
yes...stay positive!! attitudes are more important than facts.
hope your boys are better...
Hey Trish, you always manage to put a postive spin on things, that said I think it's OK to vent, you're well and truly allowed. Hope the boys are better and you manage to rest up.
You are one of the most amazing, positive, and caring people "I know", you always have a kind word for me, and support, I just hope we can all do the same for you...xx
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Sending you all my positive thoughts and energy
xx
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Oh Trish, I agree with Claire. The time to whinge is now only it's not whingeing okay? Let's get that clear. You have to be able to talk about this because it's too much to keep to yourself.

It's just gruelling - no two ways about it. I'm sorry too that the boys were so sick. What a nightmare. There are some situations in life that are just pure misery and one of those is everyone in the house being ill at once. Hopefully at least the boys are well on the mend now and you don't have to worry so much about that aspect of things.

Being present and focused is sometimes the only way to get through. Your observations are very timely as usual. Hope you are feeling better today. xx
I agree with Claire too - you need to be able to let it all out. It's okay to feel crappy, sad, frightened, angry. I'd be happy to hear you talk through these in private if you ever needed a listening ear. :)
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