I am still in limbo regarding the full pathology results after the mastectomy and axillary clearance. So far so good. I've have a lot of time to think about 'what if's' while in hospital.
Some say the worse is over now that my breast (s) and the cancer is gone.The drains are still uncomfortable but necessary. Once they're gone I won't have much pain (I hope).
The exercises to restore full arm movement have commenced.I starting walking on treadmill later today.
The proposed chemotherapy regime and hormone therapy treatment is more than mopping up. It is not to be taken lightly.
I have long dark brown hair and I don't colour my hair. I've been lucky to have only a handful of greys. I confess I glad of all the money I've saved - not. I've only added a semi permanent colour maybe 2 -3 times ever.I mostly tie my hair back in a pony tail. I'm practical.
A legacy of being a lazy nurse who preferred sleep to hairstyling. My hair do took me 3 mins, tops (after washing of course). I could even go to work with damp hair pulled back.
It was also easier, with twins , to care for it with just a brush and a hair elastic. I've thought about a style change a few times but I was too lazy to get out and do it.
Faced with the real possibility of losing my hair slowly or rapidly in distressing clumps , clogging the drains and my spirits, I want to do something positive first.
To get used to it.
The loss won't be permanent , just annoying.
It might not be the same when it grows back.
Deal with it.
I confess I am more worried about how other people will see me ...I do not want to look like Gollan (google him). I do not want pity or stares or want to worry my little boys.
The physical stripping away of my femininity is highly emotive. I care less about my breasts.
I know there is Look good feel better course I can do http://lgfb.org.au/lgfb_wp/.
I will .
I've enough body issues before this with visible skin lumps , cafe au last spots , a wonky eye and a titanium screw in my head. I am not beautiful , nor vain but I don't want to look like a freak.
The idea of hiding away for months is appealing.
I could do it out on our farm.
Not practical .
Not really what I want .
I am not in utter despair.
I confess I have barely cried , undoubtably the tears will come as a relief.
I am so grateful my almost six year olds are now experienced bus travelers.
No one will see me at the property bus stop.I could live in pjs ; they are comfy.
I've realised today my wig options may be limited because of my bone anchored hearing aid prosthesis {screw} behind my right ear ...I can't occlude my hearing aid nor the screw that sits out on the hairline. Hats are tricky too. They make my hearing aid buzz and squeal if they touch it, if I don't get the right one.
I know we will figure it out. I found this site for short hair styles for women in 40's ...I will link later .
Those who know me , please tell me what you think ? Will this suit me ?
I am going to CHOP my hair , all - off next week once my drains are out. I found a few more styles I just can't add links with blogpress ...
My new hair-do won't last long before I'm likely to go bald.
Like an answer to a prayer , that hadn't passed my lips , a lovely friend sent me a link to her friend's business . She is a survivor who makes head coverings , specially designed scarves for cancer patients.
My hubby asked if I'll go blonde ...highly unlikely .
Maybe pink or purple ;-)
Do blondes have more fun ?
I like this look too.
I will save my plait to use to make my own wig if practical and affordable , or I will donate it for another organisation to make someone else's wig like- locks of love.
I feel very overwhelmed reading 'what if's regarding my body being chemically forced into early menopause and that is a whole other post. Still it is giving me a little more control about the dozens of questions I need to ask.
Someone , not just one person told me , said she bet hundreds of women checked their breasts last week after hearing my news. I hope you all did and continue to do regularly.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPad so forgive my grammar, autocorrect and lack of links.
Kirsty@MyHomeTruths · 680 weeks ago
For hairstyles, I've always loved the short pixie look hairstyle - it's looked so good in the past on Kylie when she was undergoing her breast cancer treatment and others like Natalie Portman too.
Thanks for linking up - thinking of you and hoping the pathology results are better than expected.
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AParentingLife 69p · 680 weeks ago
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melissa4444 67p · 680 weeks ago
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alyceb 67p · 680 weeks ago
I understand the whole 'losing your femininity' aspect of it. In my mind, losing my boobs is "hide-able" and doesn't need to be a visible sign of cancer, but hair... well, that's our "crowning glory"! And it isn't easy to hide the fact that there's none there and that everyone will know. But be so what?! Stand up, be proud, show that you're fighting this and you'll beat it! xx
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Marilyn · 680 weeks ago
That hair cut is very cute, easy to manage too I bet.
I think head scarves are really cool and they don't need to be expensive. A mum at my daughter's school was wearing them for a while. She always looked so stylish and now she has a cute pixie hairdo she wears with long earrings. I would look up pinterest or something for ideas on how to wear them so I didn't accidentally make myself look like a pirate though lol!!!
And are your ears pierced or are you able to get a lovely new choker or necklace to wear when you go out?
I hope you're feeling more comfortable soon. xx Marilyn
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Pixie · 680 weeks ago
tinagraydotme 94p · 680 weeks ago
kdorothy 48p · 680 weeks ago
Grief is a funny thing, it can hit you like a tonne of bricks, or creep up on you slowly. I suspect that it will come when you are able to cope with it.
Much love drifting your way.
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tiff · 680 weeks ago
Hope that you can find some distractions while you wait. Waiting is so very hard. xx
I must confess to not being able to write much at all at the moment because I feel as though everything I say is small compared to your strength and grace.
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kelley · 680 weeks ago
x
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mayhemmischief 19p · 680 weeks ago
My recent post TO POP OR NOT???
mayhemmischief 19p · 680 weeks ago
My recent post TO POP OR NOT???
mayhemmischief 19p · 680 weeks ago
PS - I LOVE the Pixie hairdo. I'd have it myself if I could :-)
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Jayne · 680 weeks ago
Yep, I sure did check my boobs since last week - have been regularly since you told us.
The Reject Shops have a turban twistie thing MayhemMischief mentioned above, it's meant for after shower de tangling but it's a nice, soft material you could wear out.
Another way to help your boys not be scared might be to get them to 'paint' your head with food colouring.
xxx
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@Lori_RRSAHM · 680 weeks ago
Much love to you- in awe xxxxx
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Yvette Vignando · 680 weeks ago
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melbomartin 35p · 680 weeks ago
I'm another one who was finally forced into checking my own breasts after hearing of your diagnosis. I needed that kick up the bum. Thanks. xx
Debyl1 · 680 weeks ago
My beautiful mum and lovely step mum both survived breast cancer but I have neglected to check myself lately.
I have been so caught up with all that has been happening with my poor mums health decline that myself and my breasts were the last thing on my mind.
Thankyou for sharing your story and in doing so may save a life.Save a family.Bless you.Big hugs.Xx
Bright & Precious · 680 weeks ago
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Norlin · 680 weeks ago
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Claireyhewitt · 680 weeks ago
Enjoy the freedom of cutting your hair anyway you want.
DO NOT hide your self anywhere. Remember that a bald head is also something to be proud of. Never ever have I heard someone undergoing chemo who has lost their hair described as ugly or a freak. Much more the opposite. beautiful women and men, dealing couragously with what life has thrown at them.
When it happens, wear your bald head with pride, protect it from the cold and the sun with scarfs that work for you, go fancy or plain or crazy. You will still be you, an amazing and kind and wonderful woman. And as it grows back, you can have a new style every couple of weeks!
Mrs Catch · 680 weeks ago
My son's hair is falling out too, what with the radiation and chemo. So your words are hitting very close to home. I know, more than most, how your family and friends are aching for you and how they wish they could fix this. I just want to wrap my arms around my son and have him understand how precious he is.
I hope that your pain resolves soon and you regain some mobility. Use all the drugs!
Hugs and warm wishes for your complete recovery. XXXXX
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Andrea · 680 weeks ago
Here's something that i wrote previously about looking fab when you've lost your locks, might help with the road ahead x Andrea http://www.foxinflats.com.au/2011/08/bald-hair-lo...
tam65 51p · 680 weeks ago
My thoughts are with you and your family
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Misha · 680 weeks ago
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