I arrived home at 10.45pm from the Sydney Kids Business Bloggers Brunch. A round trip of 773kms or so, not including the trip into the city with the gorgeous Sara & Em.
I am very grateful for safe travels and Sara's offer to drive into Sydney.
Though she now lives interstate - she was a
After the Bloggers brunch I had to return my friend's cat carrier . She is moving this weekend too .
She was working at her new property . I used my Mum's GPS for directions as I hadn't been there. It lead me down a very badly maintained country road , across a little flowing creek ( 'Roberts Creek' road should have alerted me ).
As I was furiously cursing the potholes, gravel road and hairpin bends ...I am grateful for the little Echidna I saw crossing the road. A car coming the opposite direction flashed me , though I had seen it already. It turned and looked at us both stopped, changed it's mind and ambled back to side of the road. Unaware.
Hours later I was relieved to arrive home, safe.
It still feels strange calling this place home , but it is starting to feel like HOME.
DH said nothing , then... nor the small boys who were fast asleep.
We chatted over a cuppa and went to bed.
First thing this morning I woke to one boy cuddling up to me and both boys telling me Jed, our puppy was dead ...run over by wheels (of the 'Jeep' driven by DH), and buried .
The boys told me all the details , all matter of fact'ly, DH added a few scant details, it only happened at 5.30pm last night. Just after I called him to say I was on my way home.
The boys saw it all , they were in the car , driving on the property.
Daddy drove back to find ... Jed was bleeding, his were legs in the air ? with actions.
No tears were mentioned and I didn't ask if there were, tears.
I can't even ask where they buried Jed. They just told me Daddy buried Jed.
My hub said he didn't want to upset me last night.
I had a little hot, salty spill when he went into town, then again at the clothes line.
I know it will affect him too, he just won't talk about how much. Jed was such a lovely dog. DH has a soft heart and will embrace his own grief and guilt in his own way.
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| Jed ... Dashi |
Moving on ...Kinder news topic this week is PETS. Talk about bad timing.
Different children have news each day of the week. Joel and Sam's turns are Thursday and Friday respectively. I should be grateful for that.
I will have to write and let the teacher know.
Sure as hell I will choke up and cry if I try to tell her any other way.
The boys adored Jed , we had him 6 weeks. Long enough to love him forever. Everyday, teaching him to play fetch, watching him chase cows or race our other puppy through the grass. Teaching him to shake hands, walk on the lead, laughing as he'd lick their faces ...He followed the boys everywhere.
I don't know if they are particularly traumatised (WTH ? is it with spam bots that RT any mention of traumatised) , though they saw it all.
However, they still tell everybody about our 13yr old dog, Patch, dying and being in heaven ... that was 2 yrs ago (He was euthanised ).
Whenever they saw a dog in Western Australia, on our trip, they told the owners about our 'Patchy.' So we would have to explain.
I am grateful the boys have a lovely teacher who will know (I hope) how best to manage news this week.
How did you help your children deal with the loss of a pet ?
♥
Logging you in...
Dorothy · 681 weeks ago
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melbo · 681 weeks ago
My sister ran over her little dog a couple of years back. The dog was like a baby to them. She not only had to go and pick the kids up and tell them what happened but also bury the dog and live with the pain of what she'd seen and done although it wasn't her fault. It was an accident but it doesn't help you even to think or voice that at the time. It's a horrible situation to be in.
Maybe at some time, it might be nice for the boys to plant something where he is buried. It's hard to know really how much they absorb and understand about death at that age. Mine know that it means gone and not coming back. I have had cause to explain it at different times but thankfully, no up close experience yet. I imagine that as time goes by and the opportunity arises, they ask questions and talk about it as they need to. My only policy on these big questions is to answer openly and honestly as I can, within reason.
W was almost four when a friend of mine died. He had met her a few times and remembered her visiting. I had to tell her when she died because I couldn't hide my own grief. She had been sick and he knew that. For a few months, he would come out with "Mum, X is dead, isn't she? Dead means not here anymore". I figured that his asking and my answering was his way of trying to make sense of what I'd told him.
Two years down the track he sees her picture and says, "Mum, that's your friend X, isn't it". He leaves it at that and doesn't mention that she has died. It's just accepted now.
I don't know if this will help him any when the time comes again or it is someone very close to him. I will just have to take it as it comes.
Sorry to have put in such a long rambling comment. Thinking of you all. xx
Sorry for the rambling.
melbo · 681 weeks ago
cathy mac · 681 weeks ago
My daughter has been sad in each casell but coped very well by being involved in the process and allowed to grieve with very sad Mummy. She patted and kissed both dog and goat goodbye (when they were gone - which some would think disgusting but it certainly helped her and I to cope with the losses) She knows they are gone, and wishes they could "come back to alive" but knows they can not. She helped to bury the goat, she knows that Cairo's ashes are in the urn with my other dog Zulu. She came up with this herself on the way from the crematorium at all of 2 years of age "I think Cairo is playing on the rainbows with Zulu" Oh out of the mouths of babes, I will believe that lovely image myself :).
I really believe that involving and explaining helps them through it. It certainly worked for us. I think hiding the truth and making stuff up can confuse them. I know every child is different so I am only sharing what has worked for us.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your boys as you mourn the loss of Jed x I think you r hubby will be traumatised the most
Norlin · 681 weeks ago
jeanie · 681 weeks ago
For that reason, my Dad was rather handy with a whip-crack (noise, not lashings) if any of the dogs started such behaviour.
I am sorry for your loss - be kind to each other.
jac@Common Chaos · 681 weeks ago
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Maxabella · 681 weeks ago
I hope you all heal. It's very sad to lose something so precious.
x
Jen R · 681 weeks ago
big Hugs to you all xx
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Trish · 681 weeks ago
Tat · 681 weeks ago
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@lissame · 681 weeks ago
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Mum of Adult Kids · 681 weeks ago
Poor DH. Just remind him that shitty accidents happen. x
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Seana Smith · 681 weeks ago
fleur · 681 weeks ago
there are numerous books but as we spoke openly about Pop missing his dog in heaven. We were careful about saying that my husband or I were sick ie cold in case they thought we were going too. That was tricky seeing I had a baby Csection 2wks after my dad died . had a beautiful boy that diverted the attention abit too.
Be gentle with each other and I think its important they see you grieve ie a tear, sad moment. unfortunately we have to learn the circle of lfe and theemotionsespecially boys/males.
hugs and kisses
Cat@jugglingact · 681 weeks ago
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nee80 47p · 680 weeks ago
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