Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Wait !

This poem spoke volumes to me today ... I could write a volume but I won't...I don't want you to wait !

I planned to use it for HEADS *OR* TAILS today ... well it was kind of canceled but a few early bloggers still posted their *Wait or Weight* here

During my long years of infertility waiting was a constant theme ... and why ?
why must I wait ?
when ?
when will it happen ?
why me ?
I wanted it now (back then). I wanted answers to my questions and I felt such a failure.
Now I feel survivor's guilt because my dreams came true. Sometimes I don't measure up because I can't wait for my little monkeys to go to sleep ... not because I want to be away from them . I don't !. I just want some me blog time. It's a Paradox.
I make them wait ... just one more minute!

Wait !

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

by Russell Kelfer

Thanks to Scrambled Eggz she found this and I found her via NCLM -
Welcome NCLM visitors - please read my welcome post HERE




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13 comments :

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Waiting. Oh boy.

I'm glad you're a survivor, especially because you haevn't turned away from the past. Recounting the experience of successful TTC attempts in infertility are vital for the not (yet) so lucky ones.

bevies-place said...

Life seems to be a paradox. And that word wait seems to be one of the longest and most complex of words in the English language. I've learnt, that when you least expect it, time moves both at a snails pace and faster than the speed of sound, at the same time! Just when you think you have all the time in the world to do something, that time has gone by faster than you could possibly imagine.

Anywho, thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment at my place:
http://bevies-place.livejournal.com/27662.html

I agree that Johnny O'Keefe is still cool even thirty years after his death. Isn't that amazing?!

Hootin' Anni said...

This was one AMAZING draft for the week's theme. It couldn't be more profound and so much truth in the fact.

Excellent H o T

storyteller said...

Ah … there’s a lump in my throat and a few tears in my eyes as I read this poem … for it evokes vivid memories of my own ‘issues’ with waiting on God … and eventually encountering grace first hand. Incidentally, it’s why I started my other blog Sacred Ruminations where I write about gratitude often. Thanks so much for dropping by Small Reflections and leaving the link back here. Thanks also for putting up the Mr. Linky so we rebel HoTs folks can find one another ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

Mercedes said...

Whew~thank goodness you are a survivor! Very touching poem! Blast From the Past is at my place!

Happy HoTs!
Mere

forgetfulone said...

I relate to your poem. It took forever for doctors to figure out how to prevent miscarriage, and then to remove ... well, no details. Suffice it to say, I understand. Thanks for dropping by my blog.

Shannon H. said...

Such an awesome post1 I am glad I visited today.

I played along tooHere

Happy HoT!

Raven said...

What a lovely poem and post. I have to say your wait was worth it. Those are two fabulous babies you have there. Thanks for your kind words at Raven's Nest.

MiLeTTe said...

thanks for the visit.

love the poem.

nomesquelife said...

I like that poem :-) And it's a timely reminder - thanks!

Kim said...

love the poem, waiting just stinks! nclm

Jenn said...

What a poem. Thanks so much for posting it and I'm so glad that for you, the waiting is over. :)

baby~amore' said...

@ Xbox4NappyRash: thank you I try but I worry sometimes about giving people the wrong impression ... one we waited too long not necessarily it took 14 years for IVF to work and 2 ... making it sound too easy ... because IVF wasn't that hard for me physically. Hoping your numbers come up soon xbox.

@ bevies-place: yes so true the story of my day time flying and diappearing unexplainably.I like JOK

@ storyteller : thank you for visiting me too I am often inspired by your posts.

@ Mercedes ; yes I am thank ful

@ forgetfulone : I am sorry you have suffered loss and been on this journey too.

@Shannon H: thank you

@ Raven: thank you and eys they were worth the wait.

@ MiLeTTe :thank you

@nomesquelife : thanks Naomi - I hope your wait isn't to long

@ Kim : indeed it does - hope tte quote is true ... good things come to those who wait.

@Jenn: thanks Jenn so am I

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