Friday, 26 June 2015

Cancer that doesn’t go away.


Last night I went out to Quirky Perkies , a local bi monthly dinner meeting for women with breast cancer. A few ladies were coming later after Encore (a free YWCA 8wk exercise program for women to aid recovery after breast cancer).

In our group a number of us had completed Encore in 2013. It was cosy, by an open fire, as we laughed heartily over a glass of vino before ordering dinner. We chatted leaving jobs , mid life crises and latest medical jaunts. Our Breast Cancer support Nurse was present too - for fun - not exactly on the job. The McGrath nurse is usually there too, just not last night.

Two women confessed that their bash with cancer (all of us being in the last 3-5yrs) made them reassess their priorities and they were resigning from their jobs , with nothing to move onto.

Then the bomb dropped , I went numb when B asked me about "our girl Michelle". Life confronts us all with some difficult questions (or answers) when we are least prepared. Once part of our posse, Michelle had moved 2hrs away to another country town.

A month ago, Michelle passed away from metastatic Breast cancer (in her 40's).

B didn't know the tragic news.

Breaking it brought all the feels and overwhelm back.
Seeing the shock on her B's too changed the tone.

What else do you say ?
I wanted to get up and hug her.
Regret for not doing it , albeit in a public venue , is immense.  I was on the other side of the table where the wine glasses were and it felt awkward to move.


We all joined the Encore program together in 2013.

Michelle is the first in our group to gain her wings, first with mets. Eleven months ago breast cancer returned in her hip, it didn't stop there. When breast cancer spreads to bones, lungs, brain and liver , there is no cure and treatment is continued to give as many days or years as possible and reduce pain. It never goes away and stays away, but is controlled.

Michelle was dying yes, she had just finished a course of agressive chemo, she was looking forward to scans to see if it had been successful in shrinking tumours or stopping further spread.

B & I were planning a visit with Michelle after the last QP dinner in April.
I was planning a visit; a week before she died, I'd chatted to Michelle via FB.
It was much sooner than anyone expected.


On the flip side it was still a lovely night , I sold tickets in Cancer Council Relay for Life Raffle and
 won a MEAT tray in the raffle , seconds after lamenting ... I'd not won one ever. I chose the chicken.
*Metastatic cancer is a cancer that has spread from the part of the body where it started (the primary site) to other parts of the body. When cancer cells break away from a tumor, they can travel to other areas of the body through the bloodstream or the lymph system (which contains a collection of vessels that carry fluid and immune system cells). 
Consider sponsoring me, research for the cure, is the only way we can stop days like these.

https://city2surf2015.everydayhero.com/au/trish-1


 

Comments (6)

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Maid In Australia 's avatar

Maid In Australia · 507 weeks ago

Cancer is such a cruel disease. So unfair that so many good people are taken, even after fighting their hearts out. Much love to you all x
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Oh, love. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. There is simply no easy way to tell a mutual friend. I have registered for this year's City2Surf and I will see you at the finishing line - rain hail or shine xxx
Oh gosh. That is horrible and has put a big lump in my throat. I hope you were able to have big hugs after dinner.

How fortunate you are to have a wonderful support group of women around you.
My recent post The Ultimate Rabbit Hole #24: Wave Your Weekday Worries Away
1 reply · active 506 weeks ago
Yes, Karin, the group has been a comfort to us all. Michelle was a lovely support to me when I was having radiation last year just before she was diagnosed.
Oh that's so tough and such a terrible loss. I'm pleased you looked for and found a silver lining and that so many of your group continue to support each other and celebrate life.
My recent post The Ultimate Rabbit Hole #24
1 reply · active 506 weeks ago
Thank you Sammie. I'm so glad for you and Stephanie too to celebrate life and good times.

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