Thursday, 19 June 2014

No one told me ...

No one told me that my good enough for now news on Tuesday , would be diminished by my sadness for other friends who didn't get the news they were hoping for.  They face many stumbling blocks in the next few weeks and months.

I can't celebrate for fear of the jinx, though we did have a great celebration last night for the biggest Drummer Boy's 21st Birthday. I forgot to pull out all those embarrassing photos (I honestly had no time to search for the hard copies being a pre-digital child) ...though Sam found a big pink sash 21 today, with tiny flashing lights - 50c at an Op shop.

Cheat's Drum cake.

No one told me that four months days at a time would be swallowed up. How can it almost be July ?

No one told me that life can still be lived well, despite having cancer (twice)- YES - I have to make it happen and find the silver linings. Look with my eyes wide open and see how incredibly wonderful it is despite cancer.

The value of living each day to its fullest, not putting off until tomorrow what you could do today. After all, one day, there will not be a tomorrow.

No one told me that cancer creeps into every single part of your lives life ; for the rest of life. Every pain , every ache will be a cause for concern and the days and weeks leading up to 6 monthly scans or oncology appointments will slay you emotionally  ... both of us.

No one told me that getting on with life after cancer - twice - would be this hard. How do we go back to normal and pick up the broken pieces ?  Normal ; is still under construction , like the shed.

No one told me that though my children are happy with boundless energy and seemingly resilient - deep down I know they are just as fragile. Too young to quite understand exactly what cancer means , old enough to know that both their parents have undergone serious medical challenges.

Four years of their lives (half in fact) we have been on this rollercoaster. This site - I discovered today Jen Singer’s Parenting with Cancer is a great resource for parents who have been diagnosed with cancer and still have to carry on with life and raising children. This article particularly on Children really aren't that resilient.

No one told me that though my husband has always been caring and patient (to the best of his ability) - not all men are.  I know that his patience is not limitless and he have had some tough times in the last 2-4 years. I'm so grateful for him.
Not all relationships are left unscathed - this article resonates with me - Cancer and my marriage.

No one told me , nor did I expect , he would be left basically alone. Few of our extended family members live near us (mostly 4+ hours away) , others were were away on holidays - while I was away for the last 7-8 weeks. There wasn’t anyone to give him a break for any length of time , though people from our church did provide a few meals a week. When I came home on the weekends I felt the pressure to do absolutely everything I could to ease his burden. It wasn't so much a crisis but an enormous strain for both of us.

No one told me how thankful I would be for the limitless websites, organisations and people that help us through vulnerable times and hold us together . All interested in bettering the lives of cancer survivors and their families.

No one told me fundamental human kindness supersedes everything.

Now I've told you ...go slay them - with kindness !