Sunday, 25 November 2012

On infertility

Reminiscing makes me feel very emotional.

It's been 7 years to the day that we got a Beta 400+ ; two pink lines and a BFP.

If you have experienced infertility you will know what I mean.

It was just over a year after our 'firstborn', a daughter, was stillborn; mourning that 1st anniversary along with the passing of my much loved Father.

After 15 years (of not relaxing) we were pregnant (2nd time around) and we quietly celebrated.

All we had for certain was a little bit of hope as we held tight to a pee stick and waited for that phone call ; we had reason to rejoice (and watch my online forum friends send fairy dust confetti into the air... they were the first to know)

Even though we had been blessed with our adopted son (@13.5 months), the yearning to extend our little family was ever present. The deep desire to snuggle and nurse a newborn of our own creation was intense.

On our 2nd IVF cycle; 3rd Embryo transfer we got lucky.

After 15 long years I dared to dream ; again.

"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap!” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Of course you know our story had a happy ending.

The infertility video Empty Arms still makes me teary and incredibly grateful.