Sunday, 25 November 2012

On infertility

Reminiscing makes me feel very emotional.

It's been 7 years to the day that we got a Beta 400+ ; two pink lines and a BFP.

If you have experienced infertility you will know what I mean.

It was just over a year after our 'firstborn', a daughter, was stillborn; mourning that 1st anniversary along with the passing of my much loved Father.

After 15 years (of not relaxing) we were pregnant (2nd time around) and we quietly celebrated.

All we had for certain was a little bit of hope as we held tight to a pee stick and waited for that phone call ; we had reason to rejoice (and watch my online forum friends send fairy dust confetti into the air... they were the first to know)

Even though we had been blessed with our adopted son (@13.5 months), the yearning to extend our little family was ever present. The deep desire to snuggle and nurse a newborn of our own creation was intense.

On our 2nd IVF cycle; 3rd Embryo transfer we got lucky.

After 15 long years I dared to dream ; again.

"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap!” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Of course you know our story had a happy ending.

The infertility video Empty Arms still makes me teary and incredibly grateful.

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.htmlp

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Posted by ♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys at 20:30

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Alicia · 663 weeks ago

I could never begin to understand infertility, and the emotions that go along with it. I can understand the yearning for another child, and the pride and love that comes from delivering that child safely and healthily. I am always in awe and happiness when a child( multiples even) is born to wanting parents, It is one of the most justified miracles in the world. So happy for you, that it happened to you xxx
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Ms George · 663 weeks ago

I'm hoping to start a family in the next few years and I have a real fear that because it is something I have always wanted so much, it may not happen; that I will experience infertility. I take heart that you have walked this journey and come through the other side. I can't begin to imagine the pain and loss of your daughter being stillborn. What a true nightmare. So glad you have loving family around you.
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melissa4444 67p · 663 weeks ago

I remember the terror of waiting for those betas to come back in. Sometimes we got terrible news, a couple of times it wasn't. Even now, when we're unfortunately done with the baby making, just the thought, remembering those waits makes my heart race. I don't think it ever goes away completely.

I'm glad you got your happy ending.
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justabendintheroad 66p · 662 weeks ago

We are about to embark on this journey and it makes me feel sick. But not as sick as it makes me to think I'll never experience another pregnancy/childbirth/newborn stage again. Thanks for this today, it was timely and much needed. xo

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