Monday, 20 August 2012

2 months on

It is 2 months today since my surgery for my double mastectomy , where has the time gone ? I can hardly remember before BC.

I have two down, of 16 chemotherapy cycles, to be followed by 17 treatments of 3 weekly Herceptin for the duration of 12 months.

I am now 3 days past chemo #2 . My main side effects are nausea, and feeling repulsive for the first week.They changed my anti nausea medication slightly but somehow I wasn't given the right amount of pills when I left Friday. It was too late when I realised Saturday morning.

It's ok. I am coping , just enough. I do things I need to do and I keep busy. I feel better being distracted than sitting around. I am not an invalid or really unwell. I just feel repulsive on and off. I can't even sit still to read and comment as much as I would like.

It has been such a blergh day , hard to concentrate ... 'meh' who cares. I ran errands this morning , organised new glasses for Sam and other mundane stuff. Homework from school with my boys.The school has been great supplying worksheets.I also baked brownies and made soup.

We had to stay a few days longer in Sydney this time . I hate the boys missing school but my husband had to work a few days (we have to eat) and I can't be home alone 350kms away.

By evening I tired, bone tired . I can barely keep my eyes open but I do. If I go to sleep too early I am wide awake at 1am.2am.3am ...

I won't bore you with all the side effects.

Today , this afternoon , I walked on the treadmill for the first time since last Wednesday. I think it helps with the fatigue and for me to sleep better. I still wake every night and I rely on sleeping pills to go back to sleep.

Else, I lie there (tossing more like it), worrying , planning , worrying , thinking about not sleeping and getting through the next day.

Tomorrow I'm looking forward to catching up with a friend, our boys were at playgroup together the last 4 yrs. They all started kinder this year.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer a month prior to me. She just finished chemo # 3. We will compare notes, ideas and head gear for almost bald heads. She was quite sick after her first chemo cycle.

I live too far away now on Nude Nutt Farm, 350 km too far, for catchups with friends, any, let alone someone who gets it.

Bring it on.


My apologies for grammar and errors , whatever , like I said Chemo brain is real.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Comments (19)

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So proud of you. Can't believe you did that run as well! Please don't toss and turn and plan too much. You are going through something enormous and your brain would have trouble with that regardless of chemo and drugs. Maybe read some mindless stuff in the wee hours til your eyes get tired again. Hope you are proud of yourself too xxx
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
I need to get to the library for some mindless reading , not 50 shades of grey ; ). Thank you xo
Tough going by the sounds of it ... very much one foot in front of the other at the moment. I hope the catch up with your friend tomorrow is a tonic for you.

I'm a bad sleeper of some renown, prone to bouts of insomnia and can empathise with the stress that brings. I often used to log in in the wee hours when I was up but found it sometimes stimulated me too much. I started using that time to read or to catch up on small jobs I was finding hard to get done during the day. For some reason, those got me back into the mood to sleep. May have had a stilling and calming effect on the mind which is what I needed. I guess you can only do what works - can't be easy if some of it is down to the effects of medication.

Thinking of you Trish. xx
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
I think the Dexamethasone causes the initial insomnia and also being prone to worrying complicates it. I disturb M more if I get up though , he worries.
I so hope that all the love and support you get here helps in some way.Big hugs hon.xx
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
Hi Debyl1 , I really appreciate the immense support I get and it does help . Thank you xox
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Gosh Trish , I can't believe that it has been two months already. I thought time was only supposed to fly when fun was being had? Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you lovely
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1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
Rhiana, I thought that too. I want the next months to fly ; ) ? I still have fun in between. You always make me smile when you comment.
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It's good to hear you are not bedridden and are keeping on the move - that seems positive! The feeling repulsive bit would be pretty bad, I imagine.

Thankfully you have your friend from playgroup who will be able to understand what's happening to your body through all of this. How uncanny to both be diagnosed around the same time. Have a good day with her tomorrow, and know we are out here thinking of you. :)
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
Hi Wendy, we had a great chat and while I would never wish BC on anyone I am relieved to have someone who gets right now.
I work hard to stay positive and I am encouraged by kind comments xox.

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Cat@jugglingact · 664 weeks ago

JustLots of love
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
Thank you Cat.
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Has it really been two months? You've been through a lot and you 're doing so well to be running teh City2Surf and on the threadmill. I do believe that positivity helps in healing, Hugs x
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1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
I think so too Tat , well for me anyway. I can fee yuk and stil achieve stuff and it improves everything.
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You're amazing, Trish !!! Sending you love and hugs x
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1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
Thank you Grace. I don't feel amazing but I am surrounded by amazing friends .
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Trish, I hope you can catch up with your friend and that you feel that love and support. It's a long hard road. I just can't believe it's been 2 months already! Your determined and positive spirit is amazing. YOU are amazing. Lots of love. xxx
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Wishing you all the best Trish x
sending you lots of hugs Trish x

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