Monday, 20 August 2012

2 months on

It is 2 months today since my surgery for my double mastectomy , where has the time gone ? I can hardly remember before BC.

I have two down, of 16 chemotherapy cycles, to be followed by 17 treatments of 3 weekly Herceptin for the duration of 12 months.

I am now 3 days past chemo #2 . My main side effects are nausea, and feeling repulsive for the first week.They changed my anti nausea medication slightly but somehow I wasn't given the right amount of pills when I left Friday. It was too late when I realised Saturday morning.

It's ok. I am coping , just enough. I do things I need to do and I keep busy. I feel better being distracted than sitting around. I am not an invalid or really unwell. I just feel repulsive on and off. I can't even sit still to read and comment as much as I would like.

It has been such a blergh day , hard to concentrate ... 'meh' who cares. I ran errands this morning , organised new glasses for Sam and other mundane stuff. Homework from school with my boys.The school has been great supplying worksheets.I also baked brownies and made soup.

We had to stay a few days longer in Sydney this time . I hate the boys missing school but my husband had to work a few days (we have to eat) and I can't be home alone 350kms away.

By evening I tired, bone tired . I can barely keep my eyes open but I do. If I go to sleep too early I am wide awake at 1am.2am.3am ...

I won't bore you with all the side effects.

Today , this afternoon , I walked on the treadmill for the first time since last Wednesday. I think it helps with the fatigue and for me to sleep better. I still wake every night and I rely on sleeping pills to go back to sleep.

Else, I lie there (tossing more like it), worrying , planning , worrying , thinking about not sleeping and getting through the next day.

Tomorrow I'm looking forward to catching up with a friend, our boys were at playgroup together the last 4 yrs. They all started kinder this year.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer a month prior to me. She just finished chemo # 3. We will compare notes, ideas and head gear for almost bald heads. She was quite sick after her first chemo cycle.

I live too far away now on Nude Nutt Farm, 350 km too far, for catchups with friends, any, let alone someone who gets it.

Bring it on.

My apologies for grammar and errors , whatever , like I said Chemo brain is real.

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