Sunday, 21 March 2010

101 Uses for Duct tape - minus 90

"Duct tape is like the force: It has a dark side and
a light side and it holds the universe together."
- Carl Zwanzig

  1. Tuck ...Tape Make sheets for children, it keeps them feeling all snug and in tight all night. Did I mention SAFE !
  2. Make a door entire roll can be used in place of a bedroom door to keep 'someone' in for hours.
  3. Mute function for noisy humans ... apply horizonally to mouth.Make sure that the surface you are sticking to is clean and dry... and leave an air hole.
  4. Seat belts that will really keep the kids still and their arms in.
  5. Use in the dining room to keep them in their chairs, stop them getting up and down during the meal and to miminise swinging feet from contacting each other.
  6. Teach squabbling children to get along ... it should take them hours to get apart - since most of us don't own handcuffs.
  7. Plumbing save ... Tape toilet paper roll onto the holder.
  8. Remote Control holder ... tape it up high so kids can't reach and tape the batteries in too.
  9. Grocery saver ...use it on the pantry door & the fridge. In vast quantities and you'll lose weight too.
  10. Stop them doing a bolt in the supermarket and annoying others ...since you can't leave them in the car tape them to your trolley.
  11. Time out ...tape yourself in the bathroom and sit on the toilet for 5 mins , or maybe take an extra hour in deep foamy bubble bath .Remember a frosty glass of the grape. Caution ...make sure children are secured safe first see #2!
Oh sunday morning, once I loved you , now you mock me ...
I hope my humanity will return after my 2nd cup of tea and breakfast (since it is too early for wine).
P.S. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
P.P.S No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

Just kidding where did I hide the duct tape ?

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