Six days I suffered this inconvenience including every time I had to edit my posts for spelling errors (a lot).It was extra fuzzy and hard to see - so it would take me an average 3-5 times. Frustration - beyond measure... don't we all hate word verification
To make it worse I lost Monday's post that took me 2 hrs to compose ...still haven't re written it.
Today ... I have had 3 stupid birds (well once was maybe the same bird twice) inside today in the space of 30 mins. I maybe have had like 3 in 3 years before.
I had the glass sliding door open so the Brothers could come and go as I was folding the clean clothes *gasp* (trying to impress my hubby and since Mother's day is coming)while I was watching S & J play outside.
I saw a bird flying about inside suddenly the stupid bird was banging his (I didn't check but no female would be that stupid) head repeatedly against the shut windowpane. So I had to catch him in a cloth and gently let him go out the window ... had to push the screen out.
Ten minutes later - he or his friend was back again - head banging.I opened the other window and off he flew. This time I asked S to close the door .
Oddly - it was open !
I digress ...This kid has a door closing obsession.He has to close doors, drawers, highchair harness belt, everything even the toilet lid (that is called a door too) , my top/bra (after nursing he calls it a door too pulls my bra,shirt back down. He helps pull my jeans up after I 'go' -LOL - [rarely alone] he points and says door).
Twenty minutes later I go back to kitchen/family room and another flippin' flappin' bird (he was different)is making a racket and flying around madly... there better not be no bird sh*t ...ewwww. I shooed him out the door too.
Now the kitteh ... where was she ?
Outside playing in the jungle (cause she is so little all the plants & bushes are like tall trees).She loves to play outside.Not that I want to encourage her to chase/kill birds but she could at least scare them away by her presence. At night we will keep her inside.She loves to stalk us already ...pounces and tackles our ankles as we pass by the table or bed.
We get a few native birds but not many with a dog. He is 11yrs old so he doesn't care if the birds eat his biscuits. I hate the pesky Minah birds and black crows who come to eat them though.
On dog chow ... yesterday I caught the Brothers tipping the dog's water out for the umpteenth time and sampling his Meaty bites.
Honestly, I feed them good food and they throw it on the floor ...but to prefer meaty bites What the !
Well,I suppose they make them in a fancy M shape now and looking like little meat balls.
Have your heard the miracle toddler diet ... or the meaty bite diet joke (AKA ask a stupid question ...
People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet),you don't get enough variation ( the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet).
Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet! Over the years you may have noticed that most two years olds are trim.It came to me one day over a cup of blackcoffee and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason.
After consultation with paediatricians, X-ray technicians, and distraught mums, I was able to formulate this new diet. It is inexpensive,offering great variety and sufficient quantity.You may want to consult you doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good luck!!!
DAY ONE----
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with strawberry jam. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jam over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk ( 3 sips only, then spill the rest)
Dinner: A dry stick, two cheerios and a button, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.
Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor....
DAY TWO-----
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Meaty bites (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon Snack: Lick a lollipop until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour grape juice over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon -then flick at the wall.
DAY THREE-----
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays lollipop from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of your best chair.
Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red cordial. Try to laugh some cordial through nose, if possible.
FINAL DAY----
Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar.. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog or cat.
Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that lollipop and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.
One of my twins is a shocking eater !
What do your toddlers eat ?
What have they eaten - they shouldn't have ?
I almost forgot ... it's Thursday and last week I promised you Tom too hot ...my widdle Contribution to Widdle Shammrocks Hot Hunk ThursdaySo I am sneaking it in ...
9 comments :
LOL! That toddler diet is awesome!
My girls aren't too bad - We have enough hassles being gluten free, vegetarian, lactose intolerant and allergic to nuts. We all tend to take what we can get ;)
The girls think mashed potatoes are pink though, because I colour them with beetroot juice.
On being vegetarian, a 3 yo Miss J once told a carnivorous friend "We don't eat cows, we PAT cows".
I like the sound of that diet!
LOL! Love the toddler diet! No toddler around here, though, so can't answer your question.
Oh my stars! What a lovely body Tom has. Very nice choice.
I don't have a child of my own, but I do live with a toddler. She is very fond of eating what the hounds eat, or what is on anyone's plate apart from her own.
The grass is always greener for a toddler.
Hey surely the dog food has some protein in it right?
You are such a wonderful mom even the wildlife wants you to take care of them!!!
Hugs.
One of my toddlers ate one of those balls from a Magnetix set. It came out about 20 hours later in the nappy!
ROTFL
Yup, that sounds disturbingly like our toddler. Except that at least once a week, I let childcare feed him evrything but dinner. It gives the floor a break. I've been considering feeding him outdoors so that I can set up a hassle-free compost heap :P
I'm glad to hear the verification came off - that must've been infuriating.
You totally inspired me, Trish!
I got to thinking about my own eating habits as a child and came up with Dog Biscuit Memories.
~And you called by before I even got the chance to tell you about it...lol
Hope your Mother's Day is fantastic!
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