Is ...what you do when you are
Zen Thoughts - 2
- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave
me alone (if I am in a bad mood).
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
flat tyre.( It was a tyre blowout on a brand new tyre too)
- Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. ( is it stuffy in here ?)
- No one is listening until you pass wind.
- Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of loan payments.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their
shoes. (mine are size 9 who wants them)
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. (lucky my husband doesn't fish or even like fish much)
- If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
- Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
- There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.(just ask my husband)
- Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.(I'm Listening)
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.(I has it now)
- We are born naked, wet and hungry, and got slapped on our bottom...Then
things get worse.
- Never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. (especially me)
- The most important ingredient for a long marriage is a short memory. (As long as it is his..)
you asked for a few more
Save the whales... the Japanese have already collected the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. (true)
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.( I did not ...)
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines (and the tax office).
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.(really I do)
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have the batteries full charge or remember to take the lens cap off.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.(my husband doesn't believe me)
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends.(and why is Ken her only guy ?)
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? (and how you are going to pay ...cash or card)
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.(that is why I can't park straight even in bed)
- Click :for some real ZEN Thoughts