Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Magic 08 ball

My teen man wants to have a XV* birthday party - sleepover with six friends (yes only boys).

So I asked my teen's Magic 08 ball

Would six extra teenage boys eat me out of house and home be too many and am I asking for trouble ?

the answer ...without a doubt

so I checked again because I had a doubt

yes definitely ...

Seriously , I am still undecided ...he is a good kid and a few of the guys we have met before.He went to a birthday sleepover last Friday night.

It seems the two of us have a love-hate relationship these days. He grumbles and growls at everything but he quite helpful when I nag and threaten to withdraw all privileges he eventually gets the message.I yell back a lot more than I ashamed to admit and I get very frustrated with his mess, eating my treats and his attitude. I know I am not alone ...teenagers think they rule and have all the answers. He pushes all my buttons.

It will probably be the last sleepover party .The little brothers are having a party in 3 weeks so I don't know we can't say no ... and still make it seem equal in his eyes.He struggles because they get lots of attention.

As well since our teenage son has reached the size of an adult, things have gotten more complicated.I can't use stand over tactics We can’t get away with a lot of the things like kids’ meals when we eat out , or shopping in the boys’ section if he even liked what we picked - though he steals his fathers clothes, socks and underwear.

We are limited to how we can contain entertain them ...and not upset the neighbours.

I thought about just giving him money but he is smart enough to know his friends give money ...

I still have a few days to decide and work out how much mileage I can get out of saying yes versus the horrendous consequences of saying no .

*15th

21 comments :

Lilly's Life said...

I think its great he even wants his mates to come for a sleep over. Yes, I remember my daughters 15th well and I wont tell you any more but she had boys there as well. I think you will do it somehow and while you may be a nervous wreck it will be great for him (and he will owe you!!). Let us know what happens.

Connie said...

My oldest son Justin is 12 (will turn 13 in Dec.) & last year he had a b-day sleepover & there were 6 boys (Justin included) & it wasn't bad at all. I had to get up once during the nite because they were a little loud & I was afraid they'd wake Kendall (3) but other than that, it was fine. We had them all bring sleeping bags & we got them to sleep in the entertainment room/office & it worked out great.

I SO know what you mean about the "attitude" though. Justin's only 12 & we already deal w/it! But I try to stay positive & think "this too shall pass" :)

Good luck if you decide to have the sleepover :)

Oh, I also wanted to say thank you for the comment on my blog this morning :) And, I also wanted to answer your question about HaloScan. Yes, unfortunately, you do lose all the comments but I SO love HaloScan & most people who comment like the "easiness" of it too :)

Robyn Jones said...

sigh...teens....
I only have teen girls, so I don't know what to say about teen boys....
but I would have liked to have shipped them off from the time they were about 14-20...My 20 year old seems to be gaining a brain again...the other two?? Time will tell I guess.....LOL! Good luck with your decision...I don't know what to say..I knew what to do with them till 12....

Jenty said...

Oi hectic!! Thankfully I have 10 years to go until I have to deal with issues like that!

Kim said...

Good Luck with the party! I am sure they will find plenty to do! My mil raised 6 boys (and one girl) she said they ate a specific meal or treat and then were served a loaf of bread, butter, and a pitcher of water! Having three boys I will have to remember that one! NCLM

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Total pleb talking here now but...

teenagers want to have their way, to think you trust them.

by allowing the sleepover you grant him that, but still have the general control as it's at your place, as opposed to another house.

A good way to show him give and take, and break up the sulky teen V ogre parent dance.

Pass/fail ?

Alison said...

Good luck either way Trish!
I'm sure you'll be fine if you decide to go ahead with the party. It sounds like a good thing to do for your young man, especially with the little brothers' party soon too.
At least it is a sleep over he wants - not a full on party.

Barbara said...

Oh I know exactly what you are going through. My eldest is 13 and as much as I love him, I have stopped big sleepovers. The stress of them all was just too much for me. One at a time now. We just go out for dinner now (they have a huge table with their friends and we get a seperate one for us and any of the other parents we know that like to stay). Once dinner is over, they all go home *sniggers*. I'm sure it will be fine though - I actually think, the older they get the more they prefer to chill out in front of the TV rather than running around and falling into it LOL. Good luck with your decision :)

jeanie said...

I think it is great that he asked for a sleepover rather than a wad of cash myself.

How about you plan with him what the appropriate rules are, and what the refreshments and entertainment should be - that makes him a bit of a policeman as well as have some control.

Oh, and I think he should give you some extra chocolate for being so nice!

Bettina said...

Good luck with it. I think it won't be so bad. They are pretty much self entertaining by that age. I'd put some very strict guidelines into play though. As long as you can keep the food and dvd's up to them I think it would be fine.

Still Standing Strong in A Bloom of Hope. said...

I don't envy you..I had that kind of relationship with my dad too but now I have come to understand his good intentions.

I'm sure in time to come he'll understand that your nagging just meant that you love him.

God, I think i would be the biggest nagging mum too!

Big hugs and let us know how it goes.

Kim said...

hi Trish
ahhh the joys of teenage birthday parties and sleepovers..
I love the idea of asking the ball..I will have to try it with my 16 yr old daughter who's birthday is in August
she has started 'nagging' now :) :)

ps I read that your dear daughter's name was Charlotte...
my daughter's name is Charlotte too...Charlotte Jane...
and strangely enough...I was going to be named Rose initially..but my dear Dad changed his mind...just before I was born...

baby~amore' said...

@ Lilly's Life: oh I am curious now about your daughter! I will be a nervous wreck and I'll let you know.

@ Connie: thanks ...the last big sleepover we had was very noisy but manageable -I hope his friends are the quiet type and scared of me ! The 'TUDE hangs around till the dudes turn 21 I heard...argh
Thanks for haloscan info ...maybe when I start a new blog :)

@Robyn Jones: yes after 12 it all when haywire - next time I will be better prepared LOL I will know all the tricks - if I don't forget.

@ Jenty: lucky you ...at least you will know all the tricks from other teen horror stories.

@ Kim:thanks for visiting from NCLM - I doubt the water and bread would go down well but luckily pizza is cheap.

@Xbox4NappyRash :thanks for male perspective - good advice - you pass I agree on the trust thing and also gives me kudos for being a nice mum (instead of mean mum) way, to think you trust them.

@Alison : that’s what sways me most .Keeping all things equal. Though 6 extra toddlers can do some damage ... 2 total my house in 10 secs.

@ Barbara: thanks - I hope DVD's (well chosen) will be enough entertainment.

@ Jeanie : yes I hope it works out more frugal ...though his heart is set on a new drum kit.Good idea about him planning appropriate rules , refreshments and Mum approved entertainment ... and absolutely a hug wrapped in a chocolate is a must !

@ Bettina:yep guidelines and food and it should keep them calm (er)

@Still Standing Strong in A Bloom of Hope: thanks for your advice too .Yes,the relationship issue is another consideration -he thinks I don't care about him now I have the twins.It has been hard showing him I do. Plus I have high expectations maybe I am too unrealistic. I am a real nag and mean.

@ Kim : the ball is fun LOL ... of course it doesn't beat all the wonderful advice I have so far received here.Good luck with your daughter's 16th. I saw your son, Alexander's photo of the ferries 'Alexander' and 'Charlotte' and I wondered who she was -since his girlfriends name wasn't Charlotte. Rose is such a pretty name too- it was my grandmother's name.Kim is a lovely name I had a doll I named KIM - and my SIL is a Kim ... haven't met one I didn't like ;)

Jane @ Kidzarama said...

d'oh!

It took me about 5 minutes to realise what a magic 08 ball was (we have one ferhevensake!), and then I had to go back and read it all again. :P

It sounds like the teenager is just being a teenager and you're doing a great job of being a mum.

Yes, the sleepover will nearly kill you, but in ten years your son will thank you for the memories. ;)

Crazed Mom said...

If I can survive 11 co-ed teens on a Friday evening, you can handle 6 boys overnight. Just be sure to set the ground rules to each and every boy. :)

Journeyer said...

Oooo, good luck either way. A sleepover is but one night and you can then hopefully catch up the next. Involve your son in the planning and rule setting to give him some ownership and responsibility. Having said that, seven teenage boys sounds a little scary to me though!

namaste said...

hi there. thanks for commenting on my icanseeclearlynow blog. though i've left it up, i no longer post there. my new blog is myvoiceonthewingsofchange.blogspot

oh finally a blog that talks about the nightmarish difficulty of raising teenagers. my daughter is now 19, entering her 3rd year of college. our relationship is better now. but when she was 15? ugh!! i totally relate to what you said about your son. she was perpetually angry, it seemed. it's just a stage. sounds like you're doing a wonderful job with your kids. the party sounds like a great idea! take lots of pictures!

~maria

SAHW said...

Hello from NCLM! Your little drummer boys are precious! I read your "about me" section - what an amazing story you have.

I think you should just go for it - esp if the little ones are having a party in a couple of weeks, your older son will feel it if you don't let him have one. I know it will be chaotic and crazy...but I think it'll be worth it.

Suze said...

I don't envy you your decision. Mine opted for money and no party - thank god!
Though if he had wanted one, I think we would have done it. Give him a chance to host the party and be the centre of attention with his mates.

Childlife said...

Oh, sending you survival prayers in advance :D I'm suddenly quite grateful to realize that this particular situation is still years away for me -- hope it goes well, Trish!

baby~amore' said...

@ Jane @ Kidzarama: see my new widget ... yes it's going ahead at this stage.

@ Janice (Crazed Mom): yes rules - we will for sure -at least the new neighbours haven't finished and won't be around

@ Journeyer : yes he is planning the party food and the rules is a good idea too !He has have upted the anti - girls for a few hours ...

@ namaste : thanks Maria. Yes I enjoy reading blogs where the dream teens don't exist ...even though I was a dream teen. LOL -I broke the mould. I am glad your relationship with your daughter got better.

@ SAHW :thank you -yes we are going ahead and he is going to enjoy it.


@ Suze : I think it is what it's all about to be the limelight for a night and he does deserve it ... he thinks the girls will love his little bro's.

@ Childlife:thank you every prayer is appreciated..

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