Monday, 24 November 2008

3 years ago ...

I extracted this entry from an online diary I kept on a forum ...it was 3 years ago.

It was prompted by this mornings Dr's appointment for my little boy - I drove right past our fertility clinic. I was vaguely aware of the date - the date that changed our lives forever.

Nov 14th 2005 ~ 5 embryos still growing on morning of day 6 but only two were deemed viable embryos .So we transferred both. We thought chances of twins were remote let alone a pregnancy. We didn't want any left over embryos (if we were successful) with our 1st cycle history a lone embryo might not survive thawing. Mind you as we walked out the hospital we saw twin boys in a pram and gave each other the LOOK !

In 2ww I had bad cramping only probably due to the progesterone gel Crinone but no real pregnancy symptoms.I had some spotting so pessimistically I thought AF was on her way.

Nov 22nd 2005 day 14 of 2ww ~ 8 days after transfer I thought I would do HPT it was actually the last one of three (the first two I used 5 minutes apart when I found out I was pregnant with Charlotte eighteen months before).The expiry date was close so I figured may as well use it because it would go to waste before got to do another cycle.

When I saw two pink lines I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a dodgy test as close to expiry so I didn't get my hopes up.

Nov 23rd ~Nervously, I waited awake half the night till 5.30am to use a cheap internet HPT . 2 pink lines quicker ! IT WAS POSITIVE. I then woke my DH and rang the clinic at 7.30am .I had to know if I was pregnant. It was Wednesday ,one of 3 days they did pregnancy BT, but my beta HCG test wasn't't supposed to be till the next Monday. Our clinic made your BT three weeks after your egg pickup. I wasn't going to wait. The nurse agreed I could come in.

After I had the BT another nurse said it was too early even if I was 15dpo.

That afternoon my HCG was 448 ~ normal was about 100 -200 and right away the forum IVF veterans said? Twins

I can hardly remember what feelings and thoughts ran through my head that day ...I do know reading the stories of ICLW participants reminds me how fragile a time it can be.

I was a lost soul , lost in a dark pit of self pity looking for the light of hope.

I started to reach out and I found solace and solidarity in the arms of virtual strangers. Strangers who were the first to know I was pregnant.Weeks before my family or real life friends.

It reminds me of the people that supported me on my journey. I haven't forgotten them though our busy lives make connecting a little more difficult.

Kinship . Friends who helped me through the maze.

And if you ever feel lost as though in a maze again - you're not. For during
the day all the wonders of mother nature will keep you company to buffer you
from pain and loneliness.
Advice of the Day
  1. Rejoice in the progress you have made each day ...each leg of the journey is important. Take it one day or step at a time.
  2. Connect with others on the same path as you.
  3. Keep a journal ... it is amazing to look back and remember how far you have come.
PS .. my sons really were that bald a year ago ...they didn't have their 1st haircut till after 2



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