Thursday, 20 September 2012

The Choice

Life has been fragile , frantic and mostly mundane. I woke in the early hours last night , as I did the night before, and the night before that filled with negative thoughts and of people disappointments.
 
My nights days are interspersed with joy and optimism as well as darkness and pessimism at losing control on the roller-coaster of treatment , appointments and nasty side effects.

Today, I'm working hard to choose not to dwell on the people and things disappointing me. I'm biting my metaphorical tongue and I won't over share the negative.

Making me thankful today ..

# Our local library / librarians who are ordering a book in I inquired about today - immediately , I didn't even have to ask.

Waking the Warrior Goddess: Dr. Christine Horner's Program to Protect Against and Fight Breast Cancer.

A special friend sent me a link to it . It will help me gain back a sense of control as I learn more about breast cancer and also much about the healing power of nutrition in the healing of breast cancer.

# Last Friday I was feeling very unwell and vomiting. It wasn't nausea and vomiting related to the chemo exactly more likely a bug I picked up because of reduced immunity.

I knew I was getting a bit dehydrated from not tolerating even water , so I finally decided to head into the hospital about 10pm which meant taking sleeping boys , who stayed fast asleep , with us. Hub dropped me off at the door to emergency. When I knew I was staying , I sent him a message to send him home.[Hub took the boys back to the other farm and returned at midnight to see how I was]

As I also had a temperature above 38 ° I had a very swift trip straight through triage and into an isolation bed. This is because having chemo reduces your ability to fight infections and I could have had sepsis- which is life threatening. It wasn't thankfully. The treatment was outstanding.

Most especially was meeting in emergency, by coincidence , Nurse Z - is the partner of  Y, a friend of an online forum friend, X from Newcastle (did you get all that  Y & X were nursing colleagues too. I have never met any of them) - Z, is a Breast cancer survivor (She recently finished radiation). We were recently linked on FB due our common denominator , country town location and breast cancer. Though we had never met, it was a 'CLICK' I know you ! moment when we saw each other.

I am so thankful Z was my nurse and was caring for me - kindly - and slipped her hand into mine so I could crunch squeeze her hand when they accessed my port for the IV. [Yes, it hurts briefly when they stab you with a huge short , bent , needle in the chest - when you have no local anaesthetic patch before hand - She knew because she had a port with her treatment].

ps that is not my chest I am not that hairy :)
Some of the nurses in the local hospital also wear Hot Pink hospital 'scrub' shirt uniforms with the pale pink breast cancer ribbon embroidered on them [ I know it is for Breast Cancer awareness] .

Z's - shirt had "Feel your boobies". I know it made me laugh too , when I feeling very crappy ordinary .

Even the Drs were very attentive and listened carefully. The Xray guy was very kind too.

I was so grateful to go home the next afternoon. I love my own bed and home, and I know home is safer than a hospital filled with germs and sick people.

# Today, I also received a gorgeous letter via snail mail from a lovely reader, K - and the envelop was filled with smile postcards. So I can pay it forward ...and I will.

I know that it was a very simple random act of kindness that brightened my day.

What are you thankful for this week ?
What do you know this week ?

 

Comments (44)

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I'm thankful for my very understanding family

I so wish I could send you some more cards.

Xxxxxx
1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
Oh Trish, that's such a hard journey that you're on. I really hope this treatment accomplishes what it's meant to. It's so good that you're getting such good support from the nurses and everyone around you.
1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
I'm sorry to hear you have been so sick. I wish that we were closer.
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I should add, I am thankful that we are home from the hospital with all stitches removed. I am thankful that it's almost school holidays too.
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
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Claireyhewitt · 651 weeks ago

Oh Trish, I am so sorry you are feeling so yuk. It sounds awful and often the logistics of hospital, like driving little boys in the middle of the night are part of the issue. Hospitals are not set up with the logistics of car travel and parking and all that stuff.

I hope you start to feel a bit better soon and that people around you start to provide the support you need...as I know you would do for them.
1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
I know I haven't been around much, and I hope that doesn't make me a bad online friend. Please know that I am still thinking of you. You ARE strong (I used to hate when people said that to me)., and you have the support you need to get through this journey. I'm still hoping we can meet up next month in Sydney.

Today I am thankful that my father-in-law's very painful battle is over. The next few days will be sad, but a wonderful man is now free.
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
I've been away from the blogging world, and I've missed you. I have been thinking of you though. I"m so sorry you're having a hard time. I feel so sad to think of you sick and feeling helpless. Am back on board with my online/blog life again so I hope to stay in better touch.

Much love to you, beautiful girl.
1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
Hello Trish, just wanted to say a quick hello and send best wishes. Thank goodness you can be well cared for in hospital when you need to be there, I am so glad you are being looked after well. But somuch better to be home. Your photos on Wednesday were so good too, fantastic. Chin up, love... you've lifted me up today with your looking on the positive side. It's definitely the way to go - for us all.
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
Glad to hear that they nipped it the bud Trish. Thankful that you're ok. xx
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
Thinking of you Trish!! *big hugs*...
What a thoughtful little gift.. a postcard will make everyone smile!!!

Sending our love and prayers xxx

Popping over via FYBF :)
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Oh Trish, it's really tough stuff. You continue to amaze and inspire me with your amazing attitude. Sending my love x
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
What an inspiration you are - REALLY. My family are going through a tough time at the moment and I find myself looking for all the little things in life that make me smile everyday. Funny how the little things seem so much more important when life throws a curve ball. Hang in there Trish! I'm sending big hugs your way x
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
Trish, of course you must be feeling fragile on this journey you are on at the moment. You are doing this with incredible style and grace. If you ever have time please visit another one of my favourite bloggers, Vicki at http://thewestraworld.blogspot.com.au/ She too was diagnosed with breast cancer and I think you would like reading her postsabout a shared experience (very uplifting and positive like yours). I am so glad the Nurse at the hospital can totally identify with what you are going through - that must have been such a relief and support.

You have always appreciated the positive things on your blog even though many times that must have been tough to do. I am appreciating people this week. Four of my family and friends have all had cancer diagnoses in the last week and it just makes me cling tighter to everyone. I hope you have a great weekend with those wonderful men in your life and big hugs to you. Lilly xx

PS Can you email me your postal address?
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
I'm sorry to hear you have been sick. Sending big hugs your way!!
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
I am glad that you have a way to find laughter in moment of down while in hospital. I know how a port a cath can be just the best device. My son has one for his monthly blood test he will need for the rest of his life.____Hugs to you and your strenght. Stay stong.
1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
Trish that sounds awful - I hope you are starting to feel better. Vomiting just makes you feel so wretched.

I'm grateful for holidays too - I hope our boys will be good to us. =)
1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
What to be thankful for? Everything. Every day. And it's all giftwrapped in hugs from my little ones, then sealed with their sticky kisses.

Big hugs for you too, Trish. But you might want to skip the sticky kisses, as the kids and I have been eating ice cream.
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
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Bachelormum · 651 weeks ago

I'm so glad you feel strong enough to laugh at shirts like feel yr boobies. xx
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1 reply · active 651 weeks ago
Thankful that I read this post because your strength and will is so very inspiring.
Sending you big hugs, Trish. Praying for you every day, my dear xxx
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Ah Trish. It's bloody awful. You are a brave woman. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family (and I would have laughed at the boobies shirt too :-)
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That is so brilliant that you have a nurse that has been through it too Trish! I'm thankful that 'someone' around the place is giving you the people need by your side to aid you on your journey xx
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