Thursday, 7 May 2009

Out of order

So another month has swept by and it is only 231 (?) days to Christmas ...
One's life is not as fixed as one believes. Surprises may lie in store for you, the unexpected often tends to happen, sometimes bringing in its train the most delightful change in one's life or circumstances.
Elizabeth Aston

I can always dream for Sunday can't I ?...

I have been feeling very low but keeping on my happy face.
I feel my life is out of order.
There are so many chores, things left undone, things I want to do but there just aren't enough hours in my day or week or month.

The daily rush.
Squeezing me.

My blog is suffering , my connections in real life and on here.
Facebook is just another burden at times but I am so addicted to the tiny snippets from my friends both real and imagined lives. (I just don't do the other applications - I ignore these requests)

Really but keeping tabs on everyone, while a lot of fun, is just like more work and time wasted. Time away from my family.

I don't mind working ...really I just feel I am a terrible mother for having to do it.
I take them to pre-school with a heavy heart (ok it just 2 days a week).
I feel I am forcing them into unwanted separation but they love it.
The reunions are magic, heart exploding stuff.

I feel they should still be with me all the time, they are still just babies. I am forcing independence on them before they are ready...or is it me. They already have to share me .

I know that happiness is really a choice
... and so I choose today (and everyday) to be happy as much as I can because despite some of the bad in my life, the good things are really good especially ...

Little boys , funny habits, doing funny things, having adventures and developing new language skills ... more than just NO !

J (2) said the other night when I asked him to pick up his toys ...

"no you do it I got sore bad"
...complete with a flick of one hand and the other hand on his lower back

Sunny autumn days
Outside
Perfumed roses.

My little boys soon to be three who love the life they live... love it more if I gave more chocolate more !
All day giving me reasons to smile.
I want to tell them often "little buddies enjoy this life you've been given, you are (ok we are) truly blessed".
I think they know we know it too .
Gosh it is Friday already ...in 10 mins

10 comments :

Widdle Shamrock said...

231 days to Christmas? Is that all?

Hope you find the space and energy to get the things that you need to do done. I find when I don't, guilt consumes me.

You are a fabulous and loving mother, don't ever doubt it !!!!!

Happy Mother's Day for Sunday.

Blossom said...

you are a wonderful mumma.............
time just has a habit of getting away from you..I know.....
I bet your boys LOVE pre school..............they need to go and be with lots of other little people.........and you need a break too......

be gentle with yourself
hugs hugs hugs

Natalie said...

I can relate to everything you said Trish. My little 21/2 boy goes to daycare and he loves it. At first I was feeling guilty but he needs it.
Love to you all.xx♥

Natalie said...

Hi Trish, I used to have you on my blogroll, but I operate from dashboard only, so missed some of your posts. Got it sorted now. :D

spacefrogknitsandyarns said...

I can relate... it's actually one of the reasons, or THE reason, why I haven't joined facebook. I'm constantly trying to spend less time online but I don't seem to be doing very well... leave one thing behind and another one pops up!

jeanie said...

I am with you on the Facebook thing - what I hate is everyone's updates on "what five countries I am most like" moves the more important updates on where friends are really at off the front page - and they have changed the layout AGAIN that you can't easily see friends updates even through the friends section - it sucks grandmother's eggs.

rhubarbwhine said...

Ack - 231 days until Christmas! Should I start shopping?

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

@Widdle shamrock thank you and Happy Mother's day to you, for our children in heaven and on earth ♥

@Blossom - yes some what 'guiltily' I do enjoy the break to get some of the important things done.

@Natalie - yes they need it - maybe a break from us ;)

@spacefrog - I do like facebook for some good reasons but I wish i could spend less time online some times.

@Jeanie - exactly what I think - some the silly applications are very annoying and bump the real news off the page.

@Rhubarb - I know scary 229 days now .I better get started last year I got so stressed leaving it to the last minute.

Debbie said...

I tell my kids all the time that happiness is a choice. Some days they believe me more than others:)
Happy Mother's Day.

PlanningQueen said...

I have had one of those weeks where I have needed to remind myself that I need to keep a positive attitude. Hope you have a wonderful week end.

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