Thursday, 7 May 2009

Out of order

So another month has swept by and it is only 231 (?) days to Christmas ...
One's life is not as fixed as one believes. Surprises may lie in store for you, the unexpected often tends to happen, sometimes bringing in its train the most delightful change in one's life or circumstances.
Elizabeth Aston

I can always dream for Sunday can't I ?...

I have been feeling very low but keeping on my happy face.
I feel my life is out of order.
There are so many chores, things left undone, things I want to do but there just aren't enough hours in my day or week or month.

The daily rush.
Squeezing me.

My blog is suffering , my connections in real life and on here.
Facebook is just another burden at times but I am so addicted to the tiny snippets from my friends both real and imagined lives. (I just don't do the other applications - I ignore these requests)

Really but keeping tabs on everyone, while a lot of fun, is just like more work and time wasted. Time away from my family.

I don't mind working ...really I just feel I am a terrible mother for having to do it.
I take them to pre-school with a heavy heart (ok it just 2 days a week).
I feel I am forcing them into unwanted separation but they love it.
The reunions are magic, heart exploding stuff.

I feel they should still be with me all the time, they are still just babies. I am forcing independence on them before they are ready...or is it me. They already have to share me .

I know that happiness is really a choice
... and so I choose today (and everyday) to be happy as much as I can because despite some of the bad in my life, the good things are really good especially ...

Little boys , funny habits, doing funny things, having adventures and developing new language skills ... more than just NO !

J (2) said the other night when I asked him to pick up his toys ...

"no you do it I got sore bad"
...complete with a flick of one hand and the other hand on his lower back

Sunny autumn days
Perfumed roses.

My little boys soon to be three who love the life they live... love it more if I gave more chocolate more !
All day giving me reasons to smile.
I want to tell them often "little buddies enjoy this life you've been given, you are (ok we are) truly blessed".
I think they know we know it too .
Gosh it is Friday already 10 mins
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