Friday, 24 October 2008

Maybe I will ...

have that glass of wine ...

One of my twin sons is whining because I put a Wiggle's bandaid on his bleeding toe and he doesn't want it ( I think it might be one of the first Bandaids I have had to apply ...the only others are when he has had IV's or cannulas - maybe that's why) .His twin brother is whining because I won't give him one

...small stuff !

...indeed !! Though it still melts me heart.

This morning I was on the phone to the bank, actually the Mortgage Relationship Centre ( how is that for a title) sorting out our interest rates. I could see and/or hear the Brothers playing around me and/or in their bedroom.

Then there was an eerie silence ... I was reminded of a song ...better watch out if we 're quiet long ... (I am sure it's a Wiggles one but dang if I can google it). Silence is worst then manic giggles in this house.

No sign of them ..Heart thumping, I run here and there searching... we have 4 doors to exit the house from Small wooden chairs lay on their side at the front door.I hear them out the front ...I am thankful ! I lock the big gates near the street.

Whats on my mind today ? Everything else ...

It has been a mixed bag of emotions this week ... lots of tears flowing through the Internet and flooding my keyboard.

My heart feels heavy some days.I have this feeling of fear and dread that stays with me, and my mind is full of worry. The roses in my garden are weighted by a few showers of rain and night dampness, they echo the weight of my grief, the burden of sadness. Though the scent and beauty from the blooms uplift me at the same time.

Amanda and Brooklyn got some good news of sorts.

My internet friend C , is 25wks pregnant and now confined to strict bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy with Junior.

I read the heartbreaking story of Kyah today.This story will really make you search your heart and for the tissues. My children are a constant reminder of my worthwhile purpose on this Earth, and for that I am the most thankful. I can't imagine a life without them.

Some people are walking such difficult paths ... I can only imagine the ups and downs ... the highs and lows . Other friends both in real life and ones I know online are struggling with many serious issues , waiting for Dr's to give news of their child's heart issues , another family's unborn baby facing a serious genetic condition, child custody threats , separations from their spouse, spouses who disregard their feelings and needs, many families struggling with infertility or the loss of a child and the online community mourning the passing of friend. I didn't know this brave lady but I was moved by the quote on her last post.

Yesterday's history tomorrow's a Mystery today is a gift. That is why it called the "present."

So - I can't keep it light all the time . No, I don't need anyone to hold my hand right now - though I am surrounded by family and friends should I need it (Sometimes, I still feel lonely but it passes). To hold my hand, hug me to heart and to push me forward. I don't need it at the moment.

I can faithfully and gently remind 'me' to treasure the good, wrap myself in comfort and let the sadness come when it has too and rejoice in the day too ..whatever it brings because This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and will be glad in it !

I have chosen to aspire to the following words of wisdom.


To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends*;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.. This is to have succeeded
~Emerson

How will you make the MOSTof today ?

Ps :I Stopped To Smell The Roses...And It Was Totally Worth It!

*This BETRAYAL bit - I think I will pass on but I couldn't tamper with the quote.

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15 comments :

tiff said...

Trish,

You are amazing and loyal and you feel so much. Hugs, my friend. Your boys are gorgeous and they are spirited and happy because of their wonderful Mum.

Hey it's Amy Shipp said...

Hey Trish~ What a caring, sensitive friend you are! I do so love reading your blog! And hopefully there is not too much silence from the twins whilst you write!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

I have days/weeks just like this. My heart filled with so many conflicting emotions, not all uplifting of course.

I am glad you took some time to "smell the roses" and hope the simple things in life brought you joy that day!

just jamie said...

You're holding on to the moments that matter. And do I ever know the fear (and need for) silence.

Crazed Mom said...

So sad that the cycle of life includes death and sadness and horrid diseases etc. I know how you're feeling. HUGGLES. I will savor my weekend by sleeping before studying and maybe even take a walk or two.

Love ya.

Lilly's Life said...

Beautiful post Trish - you always manage to shoot me right through the heart with your honesty. Yes, we all have those days and you are so right. Its like riding a rollercoaster isnt it? Life I guess. You just have to let the emotions come and do what they have to do and let them go again. Its what is and to me acceptance is crucial. You always inspire me! Always. Take Care and hug those gorgeous little tearaways - beautiful healthy boys! And a beautiful rose too!

rhubarbwhine said...

A truly thoughtful and soul searching post. Thank you for sharing, so much.

Cathy said...

great post...made me stop and think.

Rachel and Jacob said...

beautiful day over here.
You sounds full of reflections today.

Laura said...

Thanks for the reminders...that life is in the relationships, not the paychecks...Hope you have a GREAT weekend!

iheartbowheads.blogspot.com said...

oh I love your words - I think it is so important to find the best in others!

Amanda said...

You're a wonderful mommy and a wonderful bloggy friend. :)
I feel the same way you described sometimes. I think it's almost like taking on other people's problems emotionally, wishing that you could help them through that way. Even if it's someone you've never actually met.

M said...

I am so heartened by the good feeling in the blogging community. I'm not sure I could've kept blogging over the past week if it hadn't been for all the uplifting comments passing around. Thank you too for your lovely words.

Cara said...

Trish- Thanks so much for coming by the blog. I added your sweet Charlotte to the angel wall and am so glad I found your blog!

Your boys are just perfect.

M+B said...

Those boys are just precious! I love their team work!!!

What a wonderful post. I think we should all do some reflection on the positives sometimes

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