Friday, 24 October 2008

Maybe I will ...

have that glass of wine ...

One of my twin sons is whining because I put a Wiggle's bandaid on his bleeding toe and he doesn't want it ( I think it might be one of the first Bandaids I have had to apply ...the only others are when he has had IV's or cannulas - maybe that's why) .His twin brother is whining because I won't give him one

...small stuff !

...indeed !! Though it still melts me heart.

This morning I was on the phone to the bank, actually the Mortgage Relationship Centre ( how is that for a title) sorting out our interest rates. I could see and/or hear the Brothers playing around me and/or in their bedroom.

Then there was an eerie silence ... I was reminded of a song ...better watch out if we 're quiet long ... (I am sure it's a Wiggles one but dang if I can google it). Silence is worst then manic giggles in this house.

No sign of them ..Heart thumping, I run here and there searching... we have 4 doors to exit the house from Small wooden chairs lay on their side at the front door.I hear them out the front ...I am thankful ! I lock the big gates near the street.

Whats on my mind today ? Everything else ...

It has been a mixed bag of emotions this week ... lots of tears flowing through the Internet and flooding my keyboard.

My heart feels heavy some days.I have this feeling of fear and dread that stays with me, and my mind is full of worry. The roses in my garden are weighted by a few showers of rain and night dampness, they echo the weight of my grief, the burden of sadness. Though the scent and beauty from the blooms uplift me at the same time.

Amanda and Brooklyn got some good news of sorts.

My internet friend C , is 25wks pregnant and now confined to strict bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy with Junior.

I read the heartbreaking story of Kyah today.This story will really make you search your heart and for the tissues. My children are a constant reminder of my worthwhile purpose on this Earth, and for that I am the most thankful. I can't imagine a life without them.

Some people are walking such difficult paths ... I can only imagine the ups and downs ... the highs and lows . Other friends both in real life and ones I know online are struggling with many serious issues , waiting for Dr's to give news of their child's heart issues , another family's unborn baby facing a serious genetic condition, child custody threats , separations from their spouse, spouses who disregard their feelings and needs, many families struggling with infertility or the loss of a child and the online community mourning the passing of friend. I didn't know this brave lady but I was moved by the quote on her last post.

Yesterday's history tomorrow's a Mystery today is a gift. That is why it called the "present."

So - I can't keep it light all the time . No, I don't need anyone to hold my hand right now - though I am surrounded by family and friends should I need it (Sometimes, I still feel lonely but it passes). To hold my hand, hug me to heart and to push me forward. I don't need it at the moment.

I can faithfully and gently remind 'me' to treasure the good, wrap myself in comfort and let the sadness come when it has too and rejoice in the day too ..whatever it brings because This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and will be glad in it !

I have chosen to aspire to the following words of wisdom.

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends*;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.. This is to have succeeded

How will you make the MOSTof today ?

Ps :I Stopped To Smell The Roses...And It Was Totally Worth It!

*This BETRAYAL bit - I think I will pass on but I couldn't tamper with the quote.

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