Earlier this week I was thinking about the playgroup I took my 14yr DS to (when he was a toddler) .It was in our old neighbour estate.The estate was brand new and fairly isolated with 1 -2 acre house blocks spread over 300 acres but it had no community facilities , no buses (except at the entrance), no shops, no play ground parks - nothing. The closest shop was over 8km away - bar the service (petrol) station.
We met weekly at each others houses on a roster. There was one twin mum to B/G twins, 1 year younger than my DS. I was thinking about her specifically ...
I was thinking how I had never considered how hard it must have been for her . L had very little support from her DH - he was supposedly working all the time & late home but was actually having an affair . Though she was always a bit of a whinger and stuck up - it must have been difficult.
Then they had to sell up due to the divorce etc. He still lived in part of the house for a while and made life so unpleasant for her. L was retaliatory as well and every week she told us the dramas.
Anyway ... L moved out of our area 9-10 years ago. Then, 2-3 years ago, I would see her occasionally at our local swimming/sport centre with her twins doing squad swimming. It was before I fell pregnant with S & J but after I lost C. She lived at least 40mins away so not sure why she came so far there.
Well yesterday who did I see - at the new town centre - her 'L' ! .(I was having my free coffee.) She came over and said "hello" then ... "are they yours ?" *pointing to my twins ..."how old are they" with a shocked look on her face. I can't remember if she knew D was adopted - I didn't hide it but neither did I talk about it every day.
L didn't ask their names or how ? LQTM . I never asked if her kids were IVF or even considered it. Now I wonder ?
She is probably around my age and I bet now, she is probably wondering how ? LOL.
We chatted briefly and she told me our old next door neighbours moved to Dubai last year,for a 5yr contract (she kept in contact with them but we didn't).
She also told me it gets worse (the whinger in her or perhaps the hard, cold truth ?) she said her twins still fight and annoy each other purposely and always did ... environment, nurture, genes or multiplicity ? I fought like a cat with my sister 5 yrs younger.
I just hope she is wrong LOL. The boys squabble now over a few toys (and me) but mostly they seem to enjoy each other and play well together.
Anyway, to get to the point I wonder if people really know how hard it is for mums of multiples - I mean 'twin' mums - OMG I can't begin to imagine life as a HOM (higher order multiple -triplets,quads or more)mum.