Friday, 30 November 2007


Love You Up To The Moon

Harmony In Motion


Thank you to all who clicked.*sigh* Boo hoo .I am no longer a topmomma - well to them...I got bumped.It isn't fair because the one left (she was entered same time as me)has only 16 clicks and no referals .I had heaps.

I'm a Top Mommma!
Hooray - we made it to Topmommas front page

So please click here
we need referals ... mwah !

Thursday, 29 November 2007

Thursday Thirteen # 8 - Natural highs

Thirteen Natural Highs

Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
then write your own.

1. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

2. A hot shower & hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

3. A smile from a baby or small child.

4. Getting snail mail or a card from a friend .

5. Watching a sunset with someone you love

6. Listening to a baby giggling over nothing.

7. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

8. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.

9. Watching the expression on some one's face as they open a much-desired present from you.

10. Having someone brush or play with your hair.

11. Chocolate milkshake ... (or vanilla ... or strawberry!) or Hot chocolate in winter or just chocolate.

12. A bubble bath.

13. Walking on the beach

14. Finding a 20 dollar note in your pocket you didn't know was there.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Jesus is my reason for the Season -

Christmas countdown banner

The Wisest of men (women and children) still seek him today
Sticky post ...

Wordless Wednesday #10 - Not so Wordless

Click on the image for a larger view ...This was done by somebody who had way too much time to play on the computer! But it's really interesting!

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Heads or Tails .... Mark

Skittles has picked Mark as the theme or prompt for this week

Mark ... my first thought was finger marks ... S & J and the way they mark their territory ... me (my clothes) everyday with their fingers and face to claim me as their mummy.

Vegemite , olive oil margarine , sticky Nutra grain fingers , yogurt etc etc.

Someone once told me they white clothing was BC (before children) but I don't learn.

Then of course making their mark ....(marks) all over the lounge, windows and mirror doors (on holidays) they loved to kiss themselves and then in the ruin they leave behind or scribbles on the wall. We still haven't washed it off after weeks.

Of course we all want to get good marks in exams , and when the end of year reports come out I have no doubt about the marks of our eldest ... I know he struggles with learning,yet he refuses to lift a finger to study.The marks will be low.*sigh*(next year will be different)

I also thought of Mark Holden ... he was a 'hottie' once in 70's yes I am showing my age he is an Australian Idol judge. Mark made his mark once and now he judges 1000's of other young hopefuls trying to make their mark, and become the next Australian Idol.

Monday, 26 November 2007

A day to forget

Have you ever had a night you want to forget, wipe clean and start again ... I have and it isn't over yet. It is too long to go into too.

I can't believe it is 29 days till Christmas !
I can't believe how some people have lost the spirit of Christmas and I am feeling very jaded about hosting Christmas at house now !

It isn't so bad , I will try my best not to let them get to me. I feel a little stressed about it though.

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Matters of the Heart

reflections on romance ...

I had so many 'boys' as friends in the church youth group I'd joined at about 16.5 yrs. I could talk to the 'boys' for hours. . I did have a soft spot in my heart for one but he only had eyes for my dear friend MS (we've been friends 25yrs). I knew she couldn't bear him but I tried ... for me LOL . Another fellow I was quite keen on only wanted me as friend too ... both came to my 21st birthday party. Secretly, I hoped for some jealously here at one stage .I had lots of males in the youth group as 'mates' -that's all it seemed.

A few youth group guys asked me out on 'dates' or to be a girlfriend (when I hardly knew them) .The ones who unfortunately fancied me where definitely not my idea of a life partner. I had high ideals.I wasn't into playing time. I had already been went on one disastrous date as a teen .

The fellow who had the name 'Johny Walker'[think scotch] seriously - he was a complete loser I met him at a Blue Light (Police sponsored) disco - and danced with him. Later that week my friend W, gave him my phone number [ he knew where she worked] and he asked me to a movie (daytime). We went by train. JW tried to impress me with his bird cruelty stories and criminal activities OMG - that was final time I saw him. I forgave my friend though (we are still friends after 28years)

The other guys I saw regularly were all only youth group ~ outings to movies, putt putt golf and quiet parties. Oh , one guy was a patient and he gave me a flower on Valentine's day and card ... to ask me out LOL - no way.

Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink...
At 21.5 yrs I left this church for greener pastures and hopefully better men.I was busy shift working as a registered nurse and attending a new church at 22 with another good friend Deb . The guys there were very nice (a lot attended the local university) but were mostly all taken ...not that I was looking hard(: ) wink).

One night 27/9/1988 I was driving home late from hospital (RN nursing) .I switched from music station to talk radio to avoid an ad. I heard the spiel from this guy and I thought he sounded interesting. I thought 'I might write in'.

It took me a few days to stay up late enough to write the matchmakers address down ... which I did eventually in the dark one night and put it under my pillow.

I wrote my letter at work ... alone in the Isolation ward (in a children's ward) and when there was only a few children and they were asleep I did my own thing. (I didn't want anyone to know)

The hardest letter I ever had to write . After 10 drafts in the bin, I posted my letter to the radio station . I got a phone call a week or so later from Matt. It was pre-Internet / pre email / pre mobile phones ... not that he uses the computer or Internet much at all. He bravely went on a radio matchmaker program and I was blessed to hear him at that moment in time.He was my hero.Our paths crossed mysteriously or maybe collided LOL . I think only 1-2 girls wrote in... he still isn't sure (hhmm)

Back to the phone call ...we chatted for a hour with airplanes droning in the background {Air show}and my noisy young cousin in my foreground. I made sure he knew that.

So I met M , October 15th , 1988 the same night... a blind date. We met in Parramatta at a restaurant. I was so nervous ... we both were. I could barely eat but we muddled through and talked. He seemed quiet though confident , charming and funny -- all of the things I knew I wasn't. I hoped I was enough to get him interested.

One of us suggested a movie ...and while I got into your car leaving mine behind I had visions of Jack the Ripper.But I still did it. No one knew where I had gone or who I was with. I can't even remember the movie we saw.Gee, I was pleased when you dropped me back my car but sad to say goodbye. .

I went to your church - girls flocked to see you (or me) and I even met your mother soon after after we went to your home and she came out of her room. I wrote to you .Then heard nothing for a week or more ... I was very sad .I hoped you would call me. I was shift working one Friday night I missed your call.No one gave me the message -it was to invite me as a guest to wedding . By the time I got it you were busy ... I had to go to a wedding too (one of two still going strong).
Then we talked by phone and you invited me to dinner on a Tuesday night November 15th ,1988 ... your mother was away. We had Chinese takeaway reheated. We joked and chatted ... you asked me how many pairs of shoes I had ? and a few other odd questions ...
perplexed ? so was I - did he have a shoe fetish or scared he was choosing an Imelda Marcos fan club member.

I think he asked a few more Q’s (obviously I passed the test … still here are we not !)

Then you asked me what I thought of you and to be your girlfriend. I can't remember the exact words ...

Then oh woe to me ...2 weeks later I went on an overnight 1000km bus ride to Melbourne / then a 14 day return 1100 bike ride from Melbourne to Sydney terrified that someone would steal you away. LOL I wrote most days.I returned home from my long bike ride. I had to see you I missed you so much.

Days later I moved into a shared house with girl friends from my old church .I think it was time and also I had had enough of my younger sister, T and her friend, E (still T's friend but nicer now).(I digress my sister met her husband on the Internet 8 yrs ago). T & E had been writing to other guys on the matchmaker show pretending to be me- I found the letters.GRRRRR

My house mates always had guys over after church /youth group (only in the lounge & kitchen). It was fun but I didn't stray for one moment my eyes were set on you. (Plus my cross eyed eye on all those girls that hung around us at your church and also my own friends ... just in case).

On my birthday, 8 months later, you asked me did I want to spend the rest of my life with you ... simply Yes !

A lot of serious things, concerning my future health, happened in the months leading up to this but he loved me in spite of it all.We got married 7 months later.

I know I have a daughter but she isn’t with me …I can’t change it but I lament that I will never be able to share mother / daughter talks with her … Like

I’ll never get to tell her that no matter how many times I thought I was in love, no matter how many times I wanted the guy of-the-moment to love me back, I’m so thankful none of them panned out till, M, her father.

Not one of them could ever come close to comparing to her father. He is my rock and my soul mate. I am sorry sometimes I treat him so badly… but he forgives me.That’s Love !

I thank God for unanswered prayers (I could name more than a handful but they don’t matter do they) in this matter of the heart .I give grateful thanks for this today …

So here we are after 19 years. This is still one of my favorite stories to tell about the beginning of our friendship.

ps... My Dad and M's friends encouraged him to call the radio station the eve our wedding to share our story .They taped it and played this at our wedding - everyone was ROFL.

Saturday, 24 November 2007

A New Prime Minister

Australia has a new PM ... Kevin 07 Rudd ... and we all hope he isn't a dud. (ps I copied these. I am so unoriginal)

We were out tonight with some twin friends and unconcerned for the most. There were a lot of sad faces around the TV in the children's play lounge at our local entertainment club.

The outgoing PM even lost his 'seat' today .He must be very disappointed after a very long political career.

On my 21st Birthday party July 11th, 1987 we had a federal election

One guy used Bob Hawke's (the Prime Minister)election poster as his face- it was a fancy dress party .There were ripples of unrest ... boo ... as he walked through waving like a PM does LOL . By the end of the night (yes people were watching the counting ... like watching grass grow back then) there were a few long faces and a few cheering. Labour retained government.

We voted today at the local school were our son attended. The highlight of our day was the bargains we nabbed at the claytons 'GARAGE SALE' - a few huge boxes of junk - well good junk mind you.

Maybe a 100 Books for the boys to read (or rip) $2 , a used HP printer/scanner $3, a new solid core door(though narrow) $20 and a variety of odds and ends ...$10 - we gave more because our twins will attend this school one day and it is a lovely school. All for a good cause.

Our eldest sons Kindergarten teacher, Miss R, (probably in her 30's) is still at the school (she was an election scrutineer or something -they get paid $300 a day I am told). We told her to look forward to S & J. .. in 4 yrs time (OMG my babies are growing up so quickly)

I will post some pics tomorrow of my treasures.

Friday, 23 November 2007

Two years ago today 23rd November

two years ago today I posted this message on a parenting forum I was actively involved in ....

I really appreciate all your encouragement ladies - I still have light cramping on/off ....





a line


pink - don't want to say it myself

lines -in fact

but it is very early days - and I am so anxious .Yes it was @ 5.20am but I have barely slept since 2am waiting and waiting - OM Gosh - yes thanks God !

Going to try and ring my clinic at 6.30am to have an early beta*[*Beta is IVF speak for a blood test to check the HCG level which indicates pregnancy]

I woke DH to show him - but you are among the first

then this ...

I am back from having my beta - emailed them , rang and left a message at 6.30am then rang at 7.30am and receptionist asked nurse and she said come if you want.

Saw the blood lady and then the other nurse who came to check out why I didn't have a form (blood group form - which I know anyway so didn't need ) said "umm - when was beta for ?" - Monday [20 days after OPU - egg pickup]
" might be a bit early "
but 2 positive HPT [home pregnnacy test]with 2 different brands can't be wrong.

finally this @3.13pm
My beta results 448 [Big fat positive =pregnant]
I never thought I would be posting this

Even right now I can remember at the time wondering if it was too good to be true. I also suspected and the general consensus was there was perhaps 'two' not just one baby because the HCG level was higher than average 448 - when normally the clinic likes to see 100 and my beta was a day early.(the nurse told me off for this too)

Now as watch my little boys playing , laughing , alternatively grizzling at me or growling at each other my heart wants to explode with joy.
I am so,so thankful.

Ps ... right now the phone rang it was DH saying he was ready for me to order Pizza. I left the gate to their play pen area open in my haste to answer the phone.
In the fews minutes it took me to order takeaway Pizza on the phone, J stole my camera (I had snapped a few pictures of them ) - I put the pizza girl on hold... , then they trashed my clothes drying rack (nappies actually) and nicked all the pegs off .Then, when I resumed my posting they got into the bathroom started to unroll the toilet paper and threw the pegs they stole into the bathtub. LOL . Chaos reigns and I love it. Most of the time !

Twelve months ago ...

The difference a year makes

Thursday, 22 November 2007

Thursday Thirteen # 7 - Unique Christmas Gifts List

Thirteen Unique Christmas Gifts

This Christmas I want to give something truly meaningful - gifts of life ... with these special gifts we can celebrate the real meaning of Christmas and help some of the world's most vulnerable people.
To help them overcome a little of their poverty , take control of their future and make a practical response to global inequity.
I know it is also tax deductible in Australia but that isn't my reason.

From TEAR Australia
  1. School supplies $5
  2. Mosquito Net $10
  3. Tree seedlings $10
  4. Fuel Efficient stove $15
  5. Safe water $20

    From Christian Blind Mission international
  6. A goat $15
  7. Cataract operation for an adult $32
  8. Braces Shoes and Crutches for a child $19

    From World Vision Smiles campaign
  9. Immunisation in Northern Sudan $25
  10. Food for children where it is needed most$45

    From Oxfam -unwrapped
  11. Chickens $10
  12. Fishing Nets $30
  13. Soap $10
I believe in spreading the gifts in my basket LOL . Each organisation has so many more gifts for you to chose from.

We support two children regularly through World Vision but this it something extra that means more than another wrapped gift under my tree. I have an 'excess' amount of stuff already .

Update ... all my list has been bought ...well on credit.

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

Never SAY Never ...Head Or Tails

This weeks theme from Skittles is NEVER say NEVER...

  1. Well I never thought I would be blogging and addicted to it with a passion .
  2. Never that I would meet so many interesting, brilliant , witty, caring and amazing people on the Internet ~some of whom have become dear friends IRL or extended to personal emails & phone calls.
  3. Never that I would marry such a wonderful man.
  4. Never that I would have problems conceiving.
  5. Never that I would adopt.
  6. Never that I would fall pregnant after 12 yrs infertility
  7. Never that my baby would die before she was born ... though admittedly I had great fears about it. That I can never talk about.
  8. Never ever would I fall pregnant again .
  9. Never would IVF work.
  10. Never ever would I be blessed with not one but TWINS .
  11. Never that so many people would stop me and talk to me or tell me how cute my twins sons are or ask me about them. This still amazes me because I never would.
  12. Never would I be able breastfeed for 17 months and still going strong.
  13. Never would people be interested in my blog (I hope some of you are).
  14. Never would I manage the NaBloPoMo and here we are 2/3 of the way through.
  15. Never would I be tagged for a Taggy post ... thanks I am working on it.
  16. Never would I read this list of 75 Ways to Increase Your Site’s Traffic.LOL it has some great tips .
  17. Never would it matter to me so much to increase my traffic.
  18. Never ever would I admit I am often wrong ... ssshhh don't tell my husband ... because never have I been so wrong about all these things.
  19. Well I like the idea of Never Never land in Peter Pan ... I wish my babies could stay little a little longer but of course I can never wait for the next stage of development. Just so I can shameless brag about their achievements.
  20. I loved the book We of the Never Never.I even visited the replica homestead and area where Jeannie Gunn lived in Northern Territory. Never thought I would.
  21. NEVER have I not had the last word ...even if it is muttered under my breath.
  22. I bet you thought I would never shut up about 'NEVER say NEVER' EVER !

AND Go to Skittles' Place to join in the fun!

Monday, 19 November 2007

Housekeeping ...I hate mice

I few things I had to tidy up...

I forgot in my haste to post the other day - November 16th is also our dear niece Ella's 17th birthday - she was born 9 months after we got married ...she is and always has been a delight.I can't help but smile.

Really on housekeeping ... we re-arranged the furniture in our family - baby play pen area. I hope it keeps them more entertained and happy . They are so busy pulling and throwing things about I can hardly keep up with them.

EeeeWWWW ! While we were away the mice played and pooed ... under the lounge, and the cupboards so DH had a lot of vacumming to do and washing the floor.I supervised and picked up all the toys.I didn't want the boys testing out their fine motor skills.

I am definitely getting a new cat (asap please darling).As long as he/she doesn't bring me the trophy.I scream when I see them dead or alive. Stuart Little may be cute but that is a fairytale.

My Aunty, keeps and breeds Ferrets ... kind of stretched out rat looking things if you ask me but they are apparently very affectionate,cheeky, and cute - like a naughty child.Our eldest son wanted one after he went to visit last time. Aww ... she sold them all ( Horray !).

who wants to win $50 from Mel In a Nutshell

Me me me !

Mel in nutshell is giving away $50 - so why don't you beat a path to her blog.

Yep, you read right! I am giving away $50 (USD). Why you ask? Well, this money is purely money Ive earned doing paid posts & in order to get more paid posts i need to increase my Google page rank. So in an effort to do that I'm putting a competition on here - got to spend money to make money right?

See here for competition details & rules and how you can enter too

Totally unrelated to her comp ...My blog was rejected by pay per post because of the dates ... no idea why ??? *rolls eyes*

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Good news and sad news ... circle of life

In the space of 2-3 days I have had some very good and bad news from friends and family on the baby front.

My lovely Internet friend , Z who I met IRL in March and again last week text ed me Thursday (after we had dinner with them in Queensland) that her pregnancy test was positive .Z, I hope you don't mind me sharing this exciting news.Woo hoo ! Z , has shared with me the journey after losing her little boy not long after I lost my daughter.Z has a little girl, E turning 1 next week.

My equally lovely Internet friend N , who had a big of scare with pre cancerous cells in her uterus - got the all clear after pathology results this week. Yahoo ! After a D & C where she could have had to undergo a hysterectomy.Now she is undergoing fertility treatment she is doing ovulation induction with insemination for this cycle. I am so happy for her truly. She has a wonderful spirit and enormous strength.

Another dear Internet friend MM is hopefully back on the IVF horse and has her little one on board , as of this week so sticky vibes and I wish you the world of luck my friend.

Sadly, yesterday I received an email from another real life friend that she had a miscarriage the same day she had her 5th pregnancy confirmed (she was about 6 wks). She said
Its certainly not as traumatic as the last time – I hardly had time to get used to the idea – but any little one lost is still sad

Then tonight my I heard my cousin had a miscarriage @8wks , she has a little girl 14 months. I didn't know she was pregnant though.

So at the same time I feel a mixture of elation and joy as well as sadness for little lives lost.I know that some people think it is just life that this happens but I still feel the sadness for the lost hope and dreams of a life with that child.

Somebody said
It was all for the best,
That something was probably wrong,
Somebody said
It was meant to be,
Different verse,
Same miserable song.
Somebody said
"You can have another",
As if that would make it alright.
Somebody said
"It was not a real child".
Somebody's not very bright,
Somebody thinks it's helpful,
To say when grieving should end.
Somebody shows their true colours,
Somebody isn't a friend.
But somebody said "I'm sorry",
And sat quietly by my side,
And somebody shared my sorrow,
And held my hand when I cried.
And somebody always listened,
And called my lost baby by name,
And somebody understood,
That I'd never be the same again.

For those few weeks,
i had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks,
i came to know you,,,
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life i had planned for you!

Just those few weeks,
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations,,,
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks,
it wasn't enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks,
And no "normal" person would cry all night
over a tiny, unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one
you darted in and out of life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

True, it is the way it is but I pray the other little ones above get to stay. I am so thankful for my boys.

Last day of our holiday ....

hey Dad ... we need a twin slide at home !

Saturday, 17 November 2007

There is no place like home ...

Part 1.
We are back from our little combined business / holiday road trip to Queensland ...over 2500kms. I have so much to blog about it but suffice to say, travelling with the dynamic duo was fun and exhausting. I am glad to be home and shush ... but I missed my blog most of all.

I had limited Internet access -mostly dial-up at my SIL's who we stayed with for 3 nights the first time and then another night later on. Commenting on blogs was impossible as each page took so long to load and then reload. So I have lots to catch up on. If I missed replying to you ... forgive me.

Well onto our trip... Everywhere we went we had to rearrange the furniture/chairs/ ornaments / magazines /remote controls/close doors and follow them everywhere.

S & J had a ball and were full throttle every day except for when they slept. Thankfully they travel reasonably well and we had no car /motion sickness. They slept for long periods too when we had long haul days.

We had a delivery to make in Brisbane right near the Gateway bridge and it had to be there by 2.45pm Friday week ago - we had a minute to spare - lucky we had daylight savings 1hr wind back too -as Queensland doesn't have daylight savings.

We left home Thursday morning at 10.15 am and 8mins/8kms down the road we had a breakdown - the item in question was brand new. Then we were caught in traffic after a motorcycle accident blocked the road for 50mins. (sadly we heard today the poor fellow passed away ~ his motorbike ran up the rear of a truck).

It was then slow travelling with a little rain and wind - my DH was also very tired. So for safety sake we stopped so he could have a rest. I took S & J for a walk and we ended up in the local library in Muswellbrook. We met a lady there who has two sets of twins B/G about 5 yrs and 2 yr old girls. Whew I thought I was busy.

The boys played with the toys , read a book, climbed on the chairs, had a breastfeed and ransacked the shelves but it was a break for everyone. It was a great library.Then we went back to the car and continued on. We made it to Tamworth (Country Music capital of Australia) -on the New England Hwy at 8pm. Not as far as we hoped .We planned an early start the next morning so we didn't get to look around.

We left at 7.30am (DST) and crossed the border to Queensland about midday ...the boys sleeping most of the morning .Then it was 11am again. After a quick stop for lunch, a play at McDonald's and a breastfeed we hurried onwards. Luckily the guy where we were to deliver to gave us better directions , than where is ... but the traffic was very congested on the road to airport (near where we were headed) .Finally we made it gladly !All delivered and job done.

Another play & feed ...then next stop was Gympie to visit family for the weekend.

The traffic was horrendous. I was driving now and the babies screamed LOUD but we had little option as the Bruce Highway didn't have many rest stops and it was getting late. All the exits had a queue 2-3 kms long - seriously - the freeway exits were blocking the lanes further down. We thought there must be an accident but NO ! So we had no choice but to turn up the music and try soothing them with food. Eventually they settled and we arrived safely.

It was good to spend the weekend with them. We don't get to see them much and when they fly down they don't get to stay long due to work.

Friday, 16 November 2007

To Believe

I wanted to share this poem that held me up a few times when I was feeling low.
Some days I still struggle to believe that things will be okay. The self doubt, worry over my husband/childrens' and my own health and the everyday things.I know my God is there is for me but still I struggle. I can't explain it.

To Believe

To believe is to know that every day
is a new
It is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,
To know the
wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.
To believe
is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we
learn to love.
To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies
within us.
When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
believe is to know we are not alone,
That life is a gift and this is our time
to cherish it.
To believe is to know that wonderful surprises
are just
waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.
If only
we believe.
Author Unknown

how do you balance 'worry' with living a life well ... do you plan for the future or live for today ?
I have a lot of worries right but I know it won't change things.I have to do some things I don't want to do but I am scared ...I can't talk about it like it is a jinx. Still I am getting closer.

Thursday, 15 November 2007

Special days

November is a very special month for me. It always will be.

Today marks an important milestone ...19yrs ago on 15/11/1988 the man of my dreams asked me to be his girlfriend.It was one month from our first blind date. I never knew for sure then, but I hoped he was the one for me.

Lucky God answered my prayers this time LOL.So began a dance ...for all time.I love him more today than I could ever have imagined.I could write a whole page on him but I will save it for another day. I won't tell you about the losers (the ones who didn't get him).

Monday, November 14th 2005 was another date that changed our lives when 2 six day old embryos 'hatching blastocysts comprising a few thousands cells and smaller than a pinhead were transferred to my uterus.It took less than 10 mins.
They handed us a sheet of paper and said "goodluck" "but don't be disappointed" ...they were our last two little babies.

It was no magical mystical feeling just a been there before.I crossed my legs and hoped / prayed third time lucky.

We exited the lift from 6 th floor and corridor was busy ... as we passed the hospital shops we saw twin boys ( about 2) in a stroller ... we grinned at each other. Be careful what you wish for ... and now we have S & J. I never imagined the joy they have brought us.

November 12th was always a special day in our family - my parents wedding anniversary. My Dad passed away in 2005 , 2.5 months short of what would have been a joyous celebration of 40 yrs of marriage.

I know that not all marriages are perfect and I mean no disrespect or offense to those who endure loveless / violent marriages or otherwise lose their partners. The greatest gift we can give our children is two parents who love each other and love them. I know some days I fail terribly but I am blessed with a forgiving, patient and loving man.

November 8th 2005... was the day they 'harvested' the eggs that resulted in S & J. When I woke up in recovery and it was all over a second time(2nd cycle) I heard another lady crying over her one egg ... I wanted to cry with her though I had considerably more. It was so emotional. I hoped it would be my last time.

I hope she got her baby too - eventually...

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Wordless Wednesday # 8 - Christmas Turkey in Australia

Bikini Bird - hint- use foil to achieve this cool bird !

See more Wordless Wednesday here

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Some simple knowledge finger fun ...

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?

There is a beautiful and convincing explanation
given by the Chinese.....

Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the
middle fingers and hold them together - back to back

Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers
and the thumb - tip to tip
(As shown in the figure below):

(bend the middle fingers)

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the
parents)..., they will open, because your parents
are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have
to leave you sooner or later.
Please join your thumbs as before and separate your
Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will
also open, because your brothers and sisters will
have their own families and will have to lead their
own separate lives.

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little
fingers (representing your children)...., they will
open too, because the children also will get married
and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to
separate your Ring fingers (representing your
You will be surprised to see that you just
CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife are destined to remain
together all their lives - through thick and thin!!

OK - hands up how many of you tried doing it even just for fun or to prove me wrong ?

Did you also know some people say the ring is worn only on left hand because a nerve from your left ring finger directly connects to the heart! I don't know if I learnt this in anatomy and pysiology at Uni ~ still quite an interesting theory ! Tell me more ...

(Disclaimer - just sharing something cute and simple no offense intended for anyone not married or those divorced)

Monday, 12 November 2007

Zen thoughts and mine ...

Zen Thoughts

  1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
    I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave
    me alone (if I am in a bad mood).

  2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
    flat tyre.( It was a tyre blowout on a brand new tyre too)

  3. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. ( is it stuffy in here ?)

  4. No one is listening until you pass wind.

  5. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

  6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of loan payments.

  7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their

  8. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. (lucky my husband doesn't fish or even like fish much)

  9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

  10. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

  11. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

  12. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

  13. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

  14. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

  15. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.(just ask my husband)

  17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.(I'm Listening)

  18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

  19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and got slapped on our bottom...Then
    things get worse.

  20. Never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

  21. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

  22. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. (especially me)

  23. The most important ingredient for a long marriage is a short memory. (As long as it is his..)

Saturday, 10 November 2007

I am going Bananas

over Caramel Walnut Banana cake

I have been very inspired by all the recipes and talk of food in the blogsphere. I mean what's a girl (err lady) suppsoed to do when she is trying to keep her figure ... open another block of chocolate or eat some cake... well both !

I must admit to hating to throw out food.I hate wastage. Lately, the bananas have been cheap but they get very ripe quickly.Maybe it is the humid weather I don't know.
So I found these recipes and the result is scrumptious ... especially when served warm ,drizzled with caramel sauce (as in caramel sticky date pudding sauce) and vanilla icecream.

I jiggled the ingredients ... I made the banana caramel cake and I added oven roasted walnuts for a bit of texture.

The brown sugar helps the cake to banana cake to develop a lovely caramel flavour.


(3 bananas used for this recipe)
125g butter
¾ cup brown sugar, firmly packed
2 eggs
1 cup mashed banana
1 ½ cups self raising flour
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
¾ cup sour cream
1 tablespoon milk
half cup chopped and roasted walnuts


Grease a 14 cm x 21 cm (5 inch x 8 inch) loaf pan or I use a lamington pan (for 40mins baking time).

Cream butter and sugar in small bowl with electric mixer until light and fluffy, beat in eggs, one at a time, beat until combined.

Transfer mixture to large bowl, stir in banana. Stir in half the sifted dry ingredients with half the combined sour cream and milk then stir in remaining dry ingredients and sour cream mixture, stir until smooth. Pour mixture into prepared pan. Bake in moderate oven for about one 1 hour, stand 5 minutes before turning onto wire rack to cool. (if you lamington pan it is only 40 - 45mins because it's shallower)

Keeping time: 4 days ( Ha ha I don't think so)

Friday, 9 November 2007

Long lost friends ...

An old friend, DA sent me a text message in the last week. I haven't heard from her in long time.I haven't seen her for almost two years.She lives 8hrs away by car.

DA is one day older than I am .We have known each other since we were 4-5yrs old . No our parents weren't friends and we are not related. She lived in the next street and we went to school together but never in the same classes.

DA was removed from her alcoholic mother and step father's custody at 9yrs old-along with her siblings 7, 4 & 2 . They were in a group home/foster care for 3 yrs till her mother was deemed fit to have them home again. I was able to keep in touch those 'in between years' with the help of my parents and even when she lived away from our area I went to visit her.

We stayed friends through our teens and into adulthood. She moved 6 hrs away .When she got married we went to her wedding (8hrs by car) in large NSW country town. I attended her first child, B's, christening. Then we had less frequent contact because we were busy with our families and the geographical distance.Her husband worked on a farm so holidays were few. We run our own business 6 days a week and we rarely had time off. She had a daughter, two years later I shared news of my pregnancy with her.

Three days after I gave birth to my stillborn daughter she rang out of the blue to say her husband was extremely ill with Lymphoma in a major Sydney Hospital . He had been flown there by air ambulance. His prognosis was poor but treatment was commenced. Sadly he passed away at 38 a few days later.He also had a congenital heart defect, though repaired as an infant it had left his heart weakened. He was sicker than anyone realised. She was a widow at 38 with two small children.

We mourned separate and different , indescribable losses ... I couldn't imagine losing my husband and I grieved with her too.My own personal pain in perspective lessened. Life was so unfair.

She was forced to leave the farm home barely days after his funeral - her husband had been an employee and she had a tough few months. They had so little.I did try to keep in touch but in the months following her husbands death she hit rock bottom . She refused to answer the phone (to anyone) and if her little boy did he said mummy was sleeping even mid afternoon. I was 8hrs away and could do nothing I was battling my own demons and infertility , commencing IVF.

She last came to visit 2 yrs ago (her children were with their grandparents) ... when I was in middle of my egg stimultation cycle that gave us our darling little boys. She was bitter about her lot in life .I agreed. She was on antidepressants by then. She stayed a few days - but in the end I was glad she was going home. She had lots of issues. Her tumultuous upbringing ... her inadequate parents and the system that 'cares' for our children , anger regarding her husband , her family and even other men.

Many times I still attempted to touch base with her but I was busy and so was she.

I wonder what prompted the text message at 9.30pm on a Friday night ...loneliness or a desire to rekindle a once loyal friendship. She doesn't have her email anymore - so snail mail and the phone it is. I still can't imagine how she does it alone.

Today, I will give thanks for my friends near and far - people who helped to shape my life and found time to laugh, love and cry with me. I will ring them too.

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Grateful ....

I am grateful for my children because they give me a reason to smile, laugh, live and play.
I am grateful to be the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. I am the nurse, the cook and the taxi driver. I am the psychologist, the cleaner , maid, the banker, the bean counter and the mean Mum. I am particularly grateful to be mummy to three handsome princes and I didn't have to kiss any frogs yet. .

I am grateful for the broad spectrum of challenges being mum to a teenager and twin toddlers is...
I am grateful for D because he was my first little darling .At 13 months he entered our lives and hearts. At 14 he is cutting the apron strings and he marches to the beat of a different drum now. My heart alone isn't enough. I am grateful for this he has grown into a fine boy even if we clash at the moment.I am grateful he is still helpful in the house and he helps me care for his twin brothers.Despite the grumbling he adores them as much as they adore him.

I am grateful for the heartache,headaches and hilarity in our daily lives. It isn't easy but it is still enriching.

I am grateful God chose us to be his adoptive parents.I am grateful for the times he made us laugh so hard with the funny things he said and did. I am grateful for these memories.I hope they don't fade too quickly

I am grateful he can reach the clothesline and unpack the dishwasher ...albeit with some misgivings on my part but grateful still for the extra pair of hands.
I am grateful for the 5 min(okay 60 sec) massages, a soothing rub that says Mum I love you. I am grateful when he says I love you and he pauses long enough to let me say it too.

I am grateful for my angel C ... stillborn but born still when I was 27weeks (6 months)pregnant. Oh the joys we felt and the gratefulness in our hearts when we learned after many years of infertility she was to join our family. Bittersweet memories yes, grateful still ~ for I am who I am today because of her short life . I am grateful for her birth though it wasn't the joy we all imagine when we first see those two pink (or blue)lines. I learned so many lessons in love for that I am grateful for my only daughter.I have new friends and blessings . I can truly be grateful for because I know real joy and I have lived through the deepest sadness .I know God had a reason, I am still working that one out.Her gift was also to bring me hope to try again.

Erma Bombeck said, “The easiest part of being a mother is giving birth. The hardest part is showing up on the job every day."

Really I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't bear the thought of leaving S & J for any extended length of time.

I am grateful for my two little boys S & J , toddler twins ~ my babies and my all.I find that the hardest part is looking at my little boys wondering would be here if my little girl was. I was so grateful to God the day I first held them, snuggled them to my heart and gazed in awe at the tiny little ones we had made (albeit by His grace, hand in hand with GOD). I am grateful IVF gave us the chance to give birth to living children.
I am grateful they have enriched our lives like nothing on earth .I am grateful I was able to breastfeed them -J eventually at 5 months and S from a week or two old.
I am grateful to be able to co sleep with them , though at first they did sleep in their cot in our room. I am grateful for the nighttime snuggles and their warm bodies and milky breath.I am grateful it has allowed us a better sleep and ease of 'middle of the night' re-settling.
I am grateful for the giggles & smiles, cuddles and kisses . Especially , I love the joyous grins that seeing me brings or maybe it is just anticipation of my milk.
I am grateful I can take delight in each new milestone.I gratefully welcome new phases ..grateful to celebrate all the small miracles like like learning to walk, climb, eat with a spoon,drink from a cup and new words ... one day they will be ordinary but now I am grateful to here at home experiencing all these things. Time flies and the magic is fleeting.I am grateful for they inspire me and entertain me.
I am grateful that they call me Mum mum ...and that they love their daddy and big brother and grateful for the anticipation that heralds their home coming.I hate it that I have to go away for them to miss me and I am grateful a short shopping trip is enough.
I am grateful for the blessing of all my special children ....sadly not everyone can share these joys children bring.
Yes, I am even grateful when they cry out to me .This is one of those things I prayed to hear in those lonely, boring days of infertility!! It makes my heart explode with smile :).Though I do admit it gets challenging meeting the needs of two toddlers both at same time and having to chose which one to comfort first ... when four hands reach up and you have to decide who needs you most right then. I grateful for extra hands then.
I grateful when they nap ...
I just pray the 'great' 'full' ness doesn't diminish and on days when I feel jaded I can focus on all these grateful things.
You just better be grateful I need to go to bed because I could write all night and day of how grateful I really am.I am forever grateful, really I am !
I am grateful that no matter how bad things seem some days , the sun rises tomorrow, and I am given the opportunity by my precious children to make a fresh start.

Did I mention I am glad we pay for drum lessons ...

This was written as part of Mamabloggas November Group Writing Project
my friend Tiff @ Three Ring Circus inspired me to join by her awesome post .
Why don't you give it a try too.

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

Heads or Tails .... V words Villians, Vincent van Gogh or vandals

Today's theme for H OR T meme is Vote or V words .

I was thinking there are not that many V words.
Vote ... I voted not to use vote~ there is a big Federal (Australia wide) Election looming and I am over the politics already. I have no idea which way to vote. so I won't bore you with this.

V- there is vacation which we are shortly to be taking. A kind of work on the way vacation.

- we are venturing to the North and will see many stunning views. Vigour - I hope it renews our vigour and we come back revitalised. We have both been very tired in our vocations.

Variety - along the way we will eat a vast variety of vivers (hopefully not too much takeway) and do a variety of activities.

I hope I am not too Vinolent - (addicted to wine) we might not see many vines unless we return via the vineyards.
This year has all but vanished.Christmas is almost here .Soon S & J will be due for their Varicella vaccination and then nothing till they start school ... scary huh !

This morning I let the terrors out of my view briefly ... come on you say - you did what ?

Later S handed me a blunt lead pencil ... I snatched it away quickly and put it out of reach ... too late!
The little villain (or villains) or would you rather I say vandals, or framing it positively > mini Vincent van Goghs ... did this along the hallway walls.

find more V words here and other Heads & Tails here at Skittles Place

Monday, 5 November 2007

Sticky Fingers and Sour squirms

I have learnt to live with the stickiness of my little munchkins fingers - over everything. Then there is the constant exploring of all things with buttons .

So now all the finger marks are higher and they can reach more things.Sadly , his crawling days are almost behind him ... my babies are now fully fledged toddlers.

S & J love of pressing my buttons hasn't diminished ... the television (but they don't watch it -only to press the buttons on/off) ,remotes, dishwasher , the front loader and my mobile phone. OM gosh the tantrums when I refuse to let them have it or if one happens upon it ( they look for it now too) and the other tries to snaffle it ...

Today, I thought I had lost my mobile phone. My eldest DS and I were looking everywhere.I was ringing the number but we couldn't hear it. I had just been to the post office to collect a parcel (tell you about that tomorrow). I phoned the Post Office via the stupid 13 number ... after they made me press 50 buttons I finally got to speak to a person and then after another 20 mins got transferred to my local PO. Then waited while he apparently went looking for it. Nothing. So we looked again and DS found it - where I told him it was all along.

During the day my husband had also called the land line (house phone) and I wondered why ... and why I missed a few other calls. O'Duh ... The phone was set to silent ...thanks J - he has a real knack at working those buttons. I have to learn the key lock feature or keep it out of reach and to leave DH or DS number as last calls so if he calls them it won't cost me.

S is now more confident with walking and even more so climbing. Saturday night he pushed the dining chair over to the kitchen sink stood on it and looked as if he was planning to wash the dishes when he reached for the dish washing liquid.... good training. It was very funny and cute - he was grinning as if to say I am very clever.

I discovered my little S loves sour tastes ... yes he is the one who won't eat real food ... one day it was lemons, cumquats and today it was sour lollies called squirms (jelly worms with sour coating)

We had a eye appointment checkup for J at the children's hospital. When I get J out - S raises the roof and wants out too. I was prepared today.

The face S makes is priceless when he eats them , and I made sure I saved a few of them. The sticky fingers and the quiet were worth it. He was very good today ...once I gave him the squirms. J's eyes were all good too. Next appointments for their eyes is March.

I am going to buy a bucketload of sour lollies tomorrow. They are from Natural confectionery food company people in case are wondering about the artificial colours and flavours - nil. They are yum. My Mum loves sour worms too.

This boy takes after me ... he can smell the chocolate a mile away too but he really only likes a little taste (that's all he is allowed LOL). J wanted a squirm too but he isn't as fussed on the sour stuff.

I also must pick up some real toothbrushes for S 's 4 teeth if I am to break my rule about never giving them lollies /candy etc .... oh well I tried. On the tooth front J is also cutting another top tooth (#6) and tonight he wanted a lot of lovin'. Poor Bubba

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Family Time

yesterday I came across a new prompt ....@ Wrapped Emotions about expressing yourself (Thanks Tiff @ Three Ring Circus).
This weeks prompt is to Enjoy Your Family.

This is what Melody said, “This week’s prompt is simple. Go, spend time with your family. Do one little bitty special thing with your children or your spouse or your mother or your sibling or your pet. Even if it’s just a great big extra squishy hug…do it.

So….here goes!

Lately, my husband has been very busy working 12- 14 hrs a day on work project. It has been hard both ends.

My first thing was last night to offer my DH a long, soothing back massage ...sorry I couldn't take any photos *wink*

Today we are heading for lunch at Avoca Beach and a little scavenging adventure - save a few things from being landfill that are in a caravan park being demolished. Well , it is to help my DH and to spend the day as a family too.

We have also had my Uncle stay with us helping my DH the last few days. I realised last night how much my Uncle reminds me of my Dad. They look a bit alike (he is 2 yrs older than Dad), sound alike, laugh alike and think alike. Uncanny but I guess being brothers and sharing DNA. I mentioned it to my DH and he agreed he noticed it too.

Seeing my Uncle with my little boys too has made me feel the loss of my Dad more... that he never got to meet them either and they him.

Family is so important and we need to take the extra time and effort to cherish the times we have with them.

Saturday, 3 November 2007

Friday's Feast # 4 (on Saturday)

Sorry it’s a bit late this week, everyone!*

sorry I was a little late posting too.

How much money do you plan to spend this upcoming holiday season?

As little as possible because I feel the true meaning of Christmas is being lost in the commercialisation and the I WANT attitude rather than spirit of giving and enjoying the time with families and friends.

KIDS :S & J babies have so many toys already and they would rather play with junk and my Tupperware or outside. So just something small from us ... others will make it up.
Our eldest is tricky he WANTS so much including a new drum set (that is going to be hard).

FAMILY: Food and festivities ... we will split this with family when we host this Christmas and Boxing day (Christmas with my family) and hopefully the KRIS Kringle gift giving.

OTHERS:I plan to spend a few $ ? on a gift for someone in developing country ... maybe buy a goat or something.Friends we buy a token gift like wine/chocolates or festive hamper.

What was the last television show you watched, and was it good?

I hardly watch the TV but the last show on in the background while I was blogging was RPA-where are they now

Over the past 12 years RPA has taken viewers on a medical journey with more than 200 patients, sharing their tears of joy and sadness and, most of all, their messages of hope.

RPA: Where Are They Now looks back at the most memorable cases in the program's history and finds out what happened to those patients. The search has uncovered some remarkable twists and turns as we discover where life has taken them and embrace their inspirational stories of courage
. and The GIFT ... the gift is about organ donation .

The Gift will follow real life stories as they happen. We will witness the donor family and their journey as they face a wall of grief, yet still choose to give life to strangers they will never meet. The people on the transplant list sit waiting for that call that will rush them to hospital, surgery and an uncertain future... some may not make it.

Yes , they are feel good shows but they make me cry and think how blessed I am.

If you had to paint the walls of your living room tomorrow, what color would you choose?

They don't need painting ... I hate painting but I think Blue and cream suede /special effects.

Main Course
Name something clever or practical you have thought of that should be invented, but hasn’t yet.

A robot that does all my housework.

List 3 things you would like to receive as gifts this upcoming holiday season.

Amy Grant 'Mosaic'


More Time to laugh, live, play and eat chocolate(24 hrs in the day is not enough) with my family

I don't really need or want much else.

Friday, 2 November 2007

Don't do it ... DUI

Today, I went out to lunch with some friends who also have 1 yr old toddlers.It was 30 min trip , en route I was listening to the car radio. The commentator was observing the increase in the Police Highway Patrol presence .
NSW got a new Police Commissioner in last few weeks.They are attributing this increase to him and his new ideas.
I had not noticed because I don't get out in the car much. We had lunch (mine was pathetic but I digress) and then we walked to



.We said our goodbyes. They were going off shopping.
I went to visit a long time school friend and her daughter who adore S & J . They lived 5 mins away. I was in the car barely a minute or two, I turned right at a roundabout , on the left I passed a Police car waiting to enter the roundabout . I was using my indicators correctly and I exited the roundabout with my left blinker .

Then as I glanced in my rear vision to the red and blue lights flashing ... ME to stop and pullover.

I wondered what on earth I had done or not done. The officer stepped from his vehicle and I lowered my window ... "ms ..miss this is a random breath test have you had any alcohol in last 15 mins ?"
"No ! " I only had to count ~ 1 2 3 4 5 ..... I was till a bit puzzled at the way he had pulled me over. I wasn't speeding, nor driving erratically. It wasn't even one of the roadside ones with the man in blue and his yellow safety vest flagging you down to the barricaded off RBT.

I did not have to worry. I didn't have any alcohol with my lunch... but had considered it. That was it and off I went. I realised later that the place where we had lunch was a major entertainment/poker machine and alcohol haven.

So watch out ... please don't drink and drive.This is a serious concern. I know they were doing their job and I hope they catch the real Drink drivers and drivers under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

I think it will be a good thing if people know they have a real chance of being caught.Maybe they will think twice.

"One more for road" is just not acceptable - would you take the keys away from someone you know is possibly over the limit.
Do you know what is a standard drink and signs of alcohol abuse ?

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Happy NaBloPoMo

Ps .. Thursday thirteen is below ...I 'll do almost anything for comments

So the big day ... month is upon us . NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month – the aim is that for the month of November participants post on their blogs every day. Strap on your seat belts and get ready for the ride .The blogging world is taking you by storm and we will all be around more than usual!

Don't want to miss out ? today is your last chance! Just Do it! Click to go to the NaBloPoMo , register, then go find a few friends or a group have some fun with.
Come on I know you want too !
Come back and tell me if you so I can add you to my friends ...

Thursday Thirteen #6

Thirteen Unusual & Silly Aussie Place Names

  1. Banana , Qld
  2. Blackbutt, NSW & Qld
  3. Cape Disappointment
  4. Cockburn SA
  5. Dicky Beach Qld
  6. Dunedoo, New South Wales
  7. Eggs & Bacon Bay, Tas
  8. Fannie Bay in Darwin, NT
  9. Fiddletown NSW
  10. Mount Mee, Queensland
  11. Poowong, Vic
  12. Rooty Hill NSW
  13. Watanobbi, New South Wales