An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a bar.
Each ordered a pint of beer. Then a fly landed in each ones' beer.
The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one.
The Scott took the fly out, shrugged, and drank his beer.
The Irisman pinched the fly between his fingers and yelled
"SPIT IT OUT!" "SPIT IT OUT!"
Three Irishmen went into a bar.
Paddy, Sean and Shamus, then leave the pub a wee bit late one night, finding themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87. Good blood, those O'Gradys!"
"That's nothing," says Sean. "Here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died. Aye, those O'Tooles are a hardy bunch, they are!"
Just then, Shamus yells out, "Forget him, here's a fella that lived to be 145 years old!"
"What was his name?" ask Paddy & Sean.
Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles..."
"Miles who?" ask Paddy & Sean
The barman tells him where the loos are and the pig hurries off to relieve himself.
A second little pig then comes in, orders a drink and asks for the lavatories. Again the barman tells the pig where to go and the pig hurries away.
A third little pig then appears and orders a drink. ‘I suppose you’ll want to know where the toilets are,’ says the barman.
‘No,’ replies the pig. ‘I’m the one that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home.’
Ok, I confess I had nothing. I rarely visit a bar ...though I always have to ask the question about where the toilets are when I do.
My Nana , God bless her used to call it the Lav or Lavatory... what do you call it ? Have you got a bar joke ?