Friday, 5 November 2010

This, that and then some

This ...

I am finding it really hard everyday today , as much as I try, to be inspired to look beyond our present circumstances husband living with cancer, my own health fears and the uncertainy for our future (selling our house & moving ?).
I feel a failure at everything.
I can't commit to anything.
Looking too far down the road ...I can't go there.
I can't even see beyond the next corner or think about next week (Dh's followup app. at Cancer care centre with specialist).
It feels like everything - illness, financial stress and everlasting anxiety has come to steal our focus and joy.
Robbed of choices.

That ...

being said ...I will never give up HOPE and faith.

New International Version (©1984)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (other translations say it slightly differently...plans for good/peace, not for evil/diaster)

Right now , I feel a little let down by friends.It's not their fault - it's my expectations.

I feel isolated. The more isolated I feel , the more I shy away from catching up or asking to see them. Anxious why they don't offer or bother either.
Isolation begets isolation. The internet is my only friend some days.
Don't get me wrong ... I know I have some good & special friends. Well I hope so ...

Though honestly, many, they have no idea about what I'm feeling like. They do not really know the real me (and probably I don't know them.)

And then ...
On a brighter note, this morning I was up early. It was deary - I wanted sunshine.
I linked into Flog your blog friday.
I had the pleasure to read some very inspiring writing, especially at Moments of Whimsy , a series of posts Encouragement for the journey written by women over 40.

I promise I will get fired up motivated to change my attitude.

Though I am not looking forward to Christmas ...actually the leadup & the organising not so much the day itself. I am a wee bit excited about

Christmas crafts galore ...this will keep everyone busy for the next 50 days. OMG did I just say 50 days till Christmas.

Remember to scroll down to the bottom of the Christmas lanterns to browse the impressive Christmas list for everything. We are going to make these magnets for everyone.

Chocolate, a cookie and a cuppa that will pick me up. The sun is peeking out now too.

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