Thursday, 21 October 2010

So much ...but never enough

...time.

Don't we all wish we had more time LOL.

As in time measured by the a ticking clock (yes we have one sitting on the bench somewhere maybe that's my probleme -)

and the turning of pages on the calendar.

Time seems irrelevant when life is waiting to be lived , the other boring stuff just gets in the way.

Though our time is measured; like it or not.

I feel guilty , dis' or un'satisfied ? that I'm just not doing "enough" to make a difference to our home or my children.

I feel unfulfilled with everything happening or not happening and the uncertainty about our future (that is whole dozen posts) . I'm not contributing as much as I'd like to.

Well today , even though it felt like a " I'm wasting my life " kind of day...and I have the guilts - I needed it.

I have so much to write (thankfully not just today).

I have many great stories to tell (well in my opinion).

I have so many blessings to be grateful for.

Though truthfully ... I haven't had much time for anything I should be doing ...as they say the dust will wait . So will the housework, packing and the tax returns but eating and a bit of sleeping are still on the top of my list. Eventually I'll get to the former.

Today, I cleared by bulging goggle reader and I did read all a majority many some a few before marking all as read. I even commented on a few blogs *waves*

I am excited about completing my list 101 in 1001 days ...onward to the challenges.

Personally ...it is all about stretching myself and having something to look forward to...making good things happen.
Identifying my strengths and weaknesses (don't mention Chocolate please).
Paying it forward and looking for opportunities to have more fun.
Remembering it has to have fun elements ...a lot of them or it's not worth the effort.
Opportunities for personal growth and encouraging others , and being open to change along the way (it's not cheating to change tracks).

This week
  • I am on day 5 of no chocolate for 7 days ( 7 of 101 ) ...(enough said)
  • I've been to the library both for my own book list and a change for the kids (rather for me to read to them). I learnt to use the Library online reservation system from home.
  • I have autobiographies of Dr Chris O Brien & Tracy Wickham, and DVD's and other books. (I have the Time traveller's wife DVD waiting to viewed too and the book on reserve)
  • I started my endeavour to get to bed earlier (by 10pm) - our 17yr has his first real job that starts at 6.30am and DH has been getting up to drive him ...so the fallout is I wake or get woken at a very ungodly hour (5.30am this morning and we all got up). I fall into bed exhausted just after 10-1030pm now.

The bonus is DH thinks he (WE) will get so much more done. The teen needs a few more driving lessons but in the MEANtime his push bike is now fixed so he can ride the 10kms or so ...from tomorrow. DH has a prior commitment and I can't drag 2 x 4yrs old out of bed at 5 30 am. I will get used to it too ... I was a Regsitered Nurse on shift work for 12 years and had to rise at 5-45-6am every week 2,3,4 days in a row ...Argh ! Once a week it was after going to bed after midnight or after.
  • I've got the info for my First Aid course ...just need the TIME factor to figure when to do it and people to encourage along with me.
  • I bought a little elephant charm to remind me you eat an elephant in Small bites ...it was the first pretty thing I'd bought myself in years.
All in all it is the small things that are making me happy this week.

I know hungry tired children will not wait much longer ...so carry on without me !
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