Monday, 30 July 2007

Happy 80th Birthday

... Grandpa... Dad... Father in law. Happy birthday to you

Saturday night we had my FIL's 80th birthday. He still looks like 70yrs old and works like a 50 yr old man.LOL, No he doesn't read my blog .

About 40 family & friends celebrated with him. The jukebox was down too low for me [never got to chose a song too] and the karaoke was not good. The oldest guest was Aunty J (86) still going okay living in aged hostel and youngest S & J.

Tonight we are having just a family dinner with him, his wife, and my SIL & brother (still down from Queensland)

Aunty J's, daughter B is my Dh's cousin but in her late 60's (JIC she ever reads this - she looks much younger) and she has twin girls (though now 34) so I chatted to her a bit.

It was so surprising discovering differences and similarities in twinships ... dominant twin , placid baby and one always being the one to be fed first. She also had two older children about 2 & 4 when they were born and her Dh never changed nappy (cloth) she said. She said her eldest daughter has a vivid memory she remembers most her mother saying "here take this dirty nappy to the laundry" LOL.

I am so thankful my own husband is a very hands on Daddy ...even if he still hasn't fully got the hang of modern cloth nappies. As long as I have AIO's he is great .

Ps. Update on Joel - likely a virus because we went to hospital so he could be checked in case he had a UTI (because of kidney reflux). His white cell count was actually low (probably from Bactrim to prevent UTI). Before this though they wanted to admit him just in case because he did look (motley skin and red cheeks)and sound unwell (grizzling). They even put a cannula in when they took blood. I knew he was okay he just didn't like hospital. The Paediatrician said I could go home because of nursing background. We live so close too.

The next day the Paed registrar rang to see if J was okay - he wasn't even the Dr who saw him but because the blood cultures were growing something but if J was well it was likely skin contamination. Knowing what I knew I think it was. J still had temperatures and not as happy but was just not that sick.

White eye Reflection ...

Looking back I am right here with wanting to get this week over too and it has only just started.

The past few weeks I have been so worried about S. I noticed when I was downloading photos to upload to my blog June 29th that Sam's left pupil had an unusual white reflection. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Dr Google had me envisioning some scary things ... leukocoria .

Though I knew from a previous eye examination one eye had an abnormality found normally in some people where the myelin sheath that surrounds the optic nerve is partially obscuring his disc but not in away that affects his vision at the moment.
myelin is the covering of the individual nerves that make up the optic nerve.
Normally myelin stops where the optic nerve enters the eye
but his didn't in left eye. Just means that makes it very hard to see his optic disc and a big problem should he develop an optic glioma -which was why he had an eye appointment 3 months to monitor for this. [That is another story related to a genetic disease he has (12% possibility of getting this and my cousin (22) did have one 20 years ago)].

I wasn't sure which eye it was. So I rang Westmead Children's Hospital about 2 weeks ago to ask someone from the eye clinic. Someone checked his medical records and conferred with me it was the left eye and that is was possible it was causing the white pupil reflex instead of red but that should see him to make sure. I was able to get an appointment for 30th July - today.

I hardly sleep much last night ... felt compelled to Google last evening and I should have known better . So it was running over and over in my head.I was so worried my precious baby had something more awful.I can't even say it out loud. I also found it in other photos since 19th June and one my niece took.

Thank God ! it is still just the myelinated sheath that is causing the white eye reflex. He may also be shortsighted in that eye and develop a turn (manageable/repairable but again something I would rather not happen). Today, his vision was fine ~ sadly I saw a blind little girl there today about 2-3 years. I can imagine a world without my sight.

Though I am almost blind in my right eye from a head injury I received at school when I was about 8 ~ causing concussion and bruising to my right forehead/eye and a undetected, partially detached retina. It was too late by the time they picked it up. I'd say I would be technically blind in that eye as I only have peripheral vision but I can't remember it any other way .

So just days before their birthday I went from being a super high to the lowest low - and I couldn't share it either.I'm over it at this point and feel a bit guilty for giving him this ... the last few days I have just felt speechless and on edge.

Everyone please note - white eye reflection is not normal and you should get a referral to Opthamologist asap if you see it in your photos. It could be life threathening if left unchecked.

It is a simple examination.The only part where he was a bit uncomfortable was when they put drops in to dilate his eyes. It is very quick when they did it and S didn't cry too long. It wasn't a painful cry, it was probably more of annoyance to him to have something squirted in his eye. It takes about 30 mins for the eyes to fully dilate. Though he also didn't like the tape patch on his eye and being held down for them to see. I forgot to take his sunnies for afterwards - too as the eyes are sensitive to light for a while.

Today, I also had to make an appointment for J to have a head u/s too because his head circumference has gone from 50 %tile to 95%tile and Paed just wants to make sure ? As if I don't need something else to worry about ... it isn't till 14th August.

Friday, 27 July 2007

Argh ... the teeth are in the house

or the mouth ... teething sucks !

Sam has a top tooth emerging and he is definitely not as impressed about this milestone as we are. Last night he went to bed late ... after he didn't much sleep at all yesterday and then screamed several times overnight like a banshee . He has his fingers in his mouth all the time. We tried BFing lots, teething gel and panadol to no avail. Then this morning he had to woken at 10.30 - I kid you not.

Today, looked like are a repeat of yesterday with no sleep -fell asleep on the boob but once his bod hit the cot he was screaming and arching his back-waking J .Thankfully after being wrapped and put in side car bed he is sleeping .His bottom gums are bumpy and sore too ...

Joel has similarly bumpy gums and a grumpy bum. His teeth are very close.Every nappy is pooey and getting progressively looser with bum getting redder. He is not as happy as usual but happier than his brother. He also had a very short sleep yesterday and today.

We are participating in the Australian Twin Registry teeth emergence and oral health study. So I must remember to faithfully record which twin , which tooth and the date ... we still have to send back our DNA testing ... I know 100% Sam is mine - Joel ? and DH (their daddy)- I hope so - mix ups only happen in the movies.

Mummy is also very grumpy today ... chocolate isn't even helping. What can I cook ? and eat !

Ps I knew J wasn't himself - just checked his temp 40.4 ... now we are off to Dr's.

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

GDUNH...and sleep sharing

Great Down Under Nappy Hunt - I registered today for a bit of fun and if I win something - hey it is a bonus.Basically it is an Internet scavenger hunt with the chance to win random prizes (MCN related) and get to see a few new WAHM (work at home mum) sites.I think I am going to like this game.

Already, I found a great link to sleep sharing (co-sleeping) by Elizabeth Pantey when I was browsing the GDUNH forum. A post by Tribalbaby got me interested and I followed a link.

By coincidence they were talking about Elizabeth Pantey's book No Cry sleep solution at the ABA meeting yesterday.

I also found some great info on feeding to sleep ... which I confess I do most of the time except when the boys fall asleep in the car or in my arms (as Sam did yesterday at ABA meeting - very unusual) or in Daddy or big bro D's arms. Because if he is in my arms and it is time for sleep he is on the (.) 99% of time.


It comes down to nurturing your children the way that suits you and your family.I hope in everything I do I can follow this advice as long as we do it safely and with regards to their rights.


It’s very important to eliminate your need or desire to satisfy
anyone else’s perception of what you should be doing. In other words, no matter
what your in-laws, your neighbours, your paediatrician, or your favourite author
says about sleeping arrangements, the only “right” answer is the one that works
for the people living in your home.

I love sleeping with my babies, we keep each warm and I know they are safe with us. I love snuggling with them and stroking them.I get a good enough sleep and our breastfeeding is maintained easily. We all pretty much sleep through the night. I know people look surprised when I mention they both sleep with us.

Here are more good reasons for sleep sharing from tribal baby.

Don't worry I won't be EC 'ing ... look it up -as if I wasn't busy enough now with twins LOL ... maybe in summer I 'll give it a try.
I like her site though it has some very interesting ideas. I feel a bit reassured too with baby-led introduction to eating solids. Not that I trust Internet advice over that of professionals but it is good to see that Sam's eating pattern is a little like this child. I started him on Pentavite anyway as a good measure for his iron needs and to hopefully stimulate his appetite.

Though my DH has the opposite quite high iron levels -it is being monitored by GP but not yet bad enough for medication. He says when he was little he had Giraffe medication ... to make him grow tall like giraffe LOL !

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

The Home Run


I competely forgot to blog this - last week (20th July) was the anniversary of the day we brought the babies home from hospital ...-argh how forgetful !
I haven't had an uninterupted nights sleep yet but I don't mind. My life changed for the better the day they were born.


Dixie Chicks and Roly Poly


I few weekends ago we went to the farm and we listened to a Dixie Chicks CD on the way.This song came on and we all knew the lyrics described J to a T ...
It was so funny. I have heard the a few times before but wasn't till then it 'clicked'. J is not fat ... just a little chubbier than S now and .5kg heavier. Since at birth he weighed in at a tiny 2.1kg and 800gm lighter he has done wonders. He loves his food unlike his big brother and we love very little roll on him.

Roly Poly
Eatin' corn and taters
Hungry every minute of the day
Roly Poly
Gnawin' on a biscuit
As long as he can chew it it's okay

He can eat an apple pie
And never even bat an eye
He likes anything from soup to hay
Roly Poly
Daddy's little fatty
I bet he's gonna be a man someday

Roly Poly
Scrambled eggs for breakfast
Bread and jelly twenty times a day
Roly Poly
He eats a hearty dinner
He needs lots of strength to sing and play

He's up at dawn to do the chores
And he runs both ways through all the stores
He works up an appetite that way
Roly Poly
Daddy's little fatty
Fatty's gonna be a man someday

Dixie Chicks

ABA , co sleeping , past homes...

This morning we got to a local ABA ( Australian Breastfeeding Assoc) coffee and discussion morning. I haven't had the time to go the other meetings 40 minutes away for months and the local ones were on a Monday at same time as playgroup the last 6 months.

The time just flew ... meeting was supposed to finish at 12pm but I drove out gate at 1.30pm. There were just 4 of us ~mums (3 and the leader). It was so cute to see an adorable 4 week old and 3 month old. Makes me feel so clucky *sigh* and both girls too.

The new mum conceived her daughter whilst working as backhoe operator in Congo ? - yes somewhere Africa but you never would have guessed it in a million years.The baby was born in Australia. She was very well dressed for a new mum and looked nothing like you would expect of backhoe operator ... hmm only ever men or butch women who did jobs like this. The bub was tiny & gorgeous. I am in awe of her.

The other bub had recently been ill with RSV bronchiolitis and spent 5 days on CPAP in intensive care at 6 -8 weeks old (two weeks in hospital) ... she caught in hospital too a few week before. Hospitals can be dangerous places. She was looking well today rosy,plump cheeks and as pretty as a picture.

The leader ABA counsellor ,was also a midwife & Lactation consultant.She breastfeed her children till almost 3 ,co slept and feed them to sleep. Makes me feel better ... since no-one else I know does or has. One of her sons was a poor eater- great BF'er too so it gives me hope for Sam.
She was very interested in my story of breastfeeding my twins - especially J starting to breastfeed at 5 months and has encouraged me to write my story for the ABA magazine Essence. I will [might] when I get some spare time. The community nurse has also said it would be important to tell my story - to encourage others. The ABA website already has a great article on breastfeding twins.

I don't think it was anything I did - yes I was determined but my roly poly Joly there is nothing he can't do.

So I (we) had a lovely morning . Another friend was planning to come too but she didn't reply to my SMS .She leaves the land line phone off the hook (in case it wakes her son 10 months) most of the time so I couldn't call either.

The meeting was held at a home in the 'acreage estate' where we (DH,DS,Patch & yes my MIL in granny flat) for 6 years. It was a large old cow paddock ~Angliss for years. Then it became a prestige development estate LOL.

We have not lived there now for 7 years and the trees has grown higher and roundabouts bushier. I forgot to drive past our old house - S & J would have loved it and I the space. It was a big house, big yard on 1 acre, 4 garages, 4 bedrooms plus study and a loft (like an attic) with spiral staircase - we installed only we put it on the market for sale. We only sold because MIL wanted to move to Mowll (d) Village (retirement and she wanted her granny flat money). Still we did other things and moved 3 more times since. I am happy in this house.

Sunday, 22 July 2007

Family heirlooms ... ride a cock (rocking) horse

to Banbury Cross ... interesting I wonder where this rhyme came from and that I have it my memory bank and what made me think of it when talking about rocking horses

We don't have any real family heirlooms. Years ago they were a link with the past and bridges to the future ~ something to hang onto and look forward to passing on, down through the generations. They were sometimes valuable and other times sentimental treasures.

Today, S & J had a quick ride on Aunty B's 'old' Rocking horse ~ 56yrs old. She bought it for her 1st son when he was 2yrs old. It has had a revamp too though recently - including new cow hair on the mane. It now 'belongs' to her grandson (2nd son's son) who 'produced' the 1st great grandchild. She said he plans to rent it out to his sisters.Enterprising !

We have two similar looking family Rocking horses though ours are 21 years old and not as valuable. They were given to my two SILs, by their father (FIL),when they had their first children - 21yrs ago.

We just had them 'made over' at the Rocking horse stud. Unfortunately ours are borrowed (till they had kids of their own) and plastic - not worth much the expert said. He gave them a quick spruce up... repainted their black spots and got into trouble for it from his DW - He has so much new and restoration work he isn't allowed to touch plastic ones anymore and isn't accepting any new wooden horses till 2008.

Anyhow, we have twin rocking horses. We rescued one from under the house of SIL's BIL and the other we have had for over 14yrs (when niece and nephew grew out of it). S & J will
enjoy many a ride on them I know. D loved the rocking horse as did many children who came to visit. Now we just have to find a place to 'stall' them. (picture to follow asap)

Back on the rhyme ... Ride on cock horse to Banbury Cross - when I googled it - I found this interesting link of Baby bounce and Rhyme ...(pg18 ) I think I will have some fun with the boys with these. I have forgotten so many of these or I could buy an ABC Sing along CD .Read for yourself why Language play for children is so important.

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse
With rings on her navel and studs on her lip
Who'd have thought nipple rings would ever be hip?
found this naughty version on the offical goodies website
Now bet that you laugh ! I will have to google more new naughty but nice rhymes -if you find any email me !

Princess and the pea ...& bad backs.

well more like the Orge and the dummy.

Some nights I wake up with a dummy under my back or down my shirt and I hardly even know it except for the crying baby beside me LOL . J knows I have it somewhere and is yelling at me to give it back. I also wake up with an aching back from being wedged in by two babies,feeding on odd angles and half sleeping on my 'sides'. But it goes away thank fully ....

We didn't get our doona day yesterday and this morning the phone rang waking us all from a blissful sleepin at 8.45am. FIL's wife about a very trivial thing ...argh ! -steak knives for FIL's birthday next Saturday.That was it ! I got up to put the kettle on then Dh made the tea.Team work.

We had a cup of tea in bed while the boys crawled about the floor and then reluctantly we got up. At least it wasn't so cold this morning.

After a leisurely late breakfast we tidied up and then I had some phone calls to make. Dh tidied some more - good on him.

We then visited my MIL - out of action with severe back pain. So severe she is considering surgery. She was supposed to be going to stay with her sister in her 80's just out of hospital after 6 weeks in hospital, for her back surgery and a scar 20cms long. Lucky her sister,Aunty B has friends and family to drop by and help her out too.

So next we went to visit Aunty B next. She was back in bed after being up today ... she has to walk a kilometre a day she told us. Aunty B told me all about the Paediatric ward revamp at the hospital where I worked for over 10 years. Aunty B has also been a volunteer at hospital for over 20 years.

I have to go see it .My lovely boss, Mildred is still there apparently. It is a Children's paradise with a new toy room , huge cubby house and they are building a fairy garden too.They even have a separate Accident & Emergency area for kids upstairs.

She said she walked every day ...from rehab ward to the kids ward and back.. 5 times was 1km. She told me about all the new renovations at hospital and changes. She told me how horrible, old and dirty RNS hospital was in comparison.

Aunty B's back is still on the mend but she always have a back ache.She is still on Oxycodeine. The babies were good, happy to play with her slippers (newish not old and smelly luckily) ... she was in bed and we were all in her bedroom LOL. She was so happy to see them. She also told us she is expecting her 2nd Great grandchild in January.
Dh has a bad back ... family heritage - so does his Dad. I hope it is legacy of their hard times and not hereditary. The chiropractor is his 'lifeline' some days ... you know phone a friend. He should be doing back strengthening exercises but doesn't have time *sigh*.

So I can't complain about my sore back ... those with back pain are in my prayers.

Friday, 20 July 2007

Doona days ...

some days I wish I could stay in bed all day ... of course with S & J.

The last week I felt kind of like this every day but haven't managed it yet. Maybe Sunday ? we all will. It has been a busy week ...been our busiest six months... and the next two weeks are busy too... business paperwork, housework, a few commitments and then Drs' appointments .

Had a lot on my mind and things I can't even begin to jot down ... too many worries for my precious babies and husband. Not enough time to achieve the things I should be doing let alone the impossible things I wish to get done.

I see the world through my 'tired' eyes and I am scared for the future. Every day I feel worried about terrible mishaps and misfortune .I hate myself for the things I think. I just feel overwhelming sadness about a lot of things but my boys bring me such happiness and joy.

I laugh at time and with them .They are the delight of my life.Still there is worry about them.

Life is unfair sometimes, Christian or not ... bad things happen to good people.

I feel inadequate and useless sometimes, and at times I feel okay that I am okay. Swinging to and fro on daily basis , hour by hour sometimes. It is easy to snap myself out of it when I put things in perspective ... I am wonderfully blessed and while things aren't perfect. I have the knowledge that they could be much worse.I also know that I have friends and family who care.

Like being on a rollercoaster the scared feelings, out of control wishing the ride is over but a bit of excitement thrown in.

Some days, I just want to get off and stop ! 'Chill' out under my doona and not have to worry. But of course I can't. I can't ! Too hard to explain I guess. Too much to do.

I can't complain really - though I stay up late - it is my fault I am so tired. I need the quiet to myself. To reflect and wind down.

Thankfully S & J are cuddly sleepers and snuggle in close. If the room is dark they will sleep in long as I feed them ... not a problem. I love co-sleeping.

The weather has been so cold too ... tomorrow I have nothing I have to do so maybe I will have a doona day morning. I will play with my babies and ignore the clutter and voices telling me to tidy up. I will not touch the internet ... ( well maybe for just a peek at my emails)

okay - it's today and I should be under that doona now ! Sorry for my ramblings I am feeling very mellow.

Monday, 16 July 2007

So tired ...


Little munchin,Joel was so tired tonight he feel asleep in the highchair~during dessert. Now this boy loves his food and minutes prior to this he was still making appreciate mmm's ... then we noticed he was slowing down ... eyes closed and he was almost snoring LOL.


Poor bubba ... we had a very busy day today . First playgroup where he crawled the length and bredth of the hall a few times. Then he had a short nap ... till our friends from Adelaide arrived ... the grinning Griffiths (formerly of Orange). Four lovely children 9- 14 yrs. Plus big brother D was back from being away for 2 days.


He was adored, played with, pushed on the little bike, the swing and other things, twirled and cuddled to bits. Of course he loved it. They both did.


Mind you an hour later he woke up refreshed and considered it a late nap.

Now thats a bellyful

I thought twins were a bellyful , until I found a link on my friend Tiff's (she has two sets of twinks) blog ...

one mum, Rachelle is 31wks with quintuplets

http://wilkinsonquints.blogspot.com/

and the other, Suz 28wks with quads

http://thelifeofsuz.blogspot.com/

OMG and Wow ! I can barely imagine it - guys you are in my prayers.
I am curious and as are thousands of other people.So I will follow their blogs. They will no doubt live their lives in a fishbowl with windows to the world. The internet being what it is now.

God speed you all ... bet Mr Costello is glad they aren't in Australia with $4000 a baby ... bonus.

Sunday, 15 July 2007

God speed ... Geoff & Kim

Today, we finally got to church after a few weeks absence... some good reasons - a twin christening (though we went to a nearby church), our boys birthday and a weekend away in Dubbo.

It has been hard to get to church every Sunday the past year and a bit. We have averaged about fortnightly.

Today, was a kind of sad day . It was the last service that our Pastor Geoff ministered at church. We were very surprised a few weeks ago to read he was leaving our church after 10.5years , 17 years in the area. Though he is moving to a church about 20-30 minutes away.

We have only been going to this church about 2.5 years. It was at a yearly remembrance / memorial service at the hospital where Charlotte was born that I met up again with Geoff ,in Nov 2004. He led the service.Afterwards I went and spoke to him.He invited us to his church.He came and visited us ,prayed for us and ministered to us.

However, I first met Geoff and his wife, Kim when I became a christian at 16years. He was a youth worker of sorts and I was sent to him to be my new christian mentor. He lived just around the corner.They were newly weds and then along came Robbie (now 21years) ,then another son, then they went off to bible college.

I know it was for a reason and in God's plan that Geoff came into our lives at a very needy time after Charlotte died.We know he & Kim prayed for us. We joined their home fellowship group and started attending their church.He was there for us too when my Dad died. He dedicated/baptised our sons too. I am glad he did.

The whole church is very sad to see them go but they have been called to a new area and they have a vision for these people. I wish them well. God speed !

At times I still am not sure if we have fitted into this church wholly.I know we have made a few friends and everyone adores S & J , some of the people I don't even know their names who ask me about them LOL. (shameful isn't it). Dh & I ,we are both fairly shy and quiet people and we have kept much to ourselves ... a legacy of loss.

Now, I wonder if this is the excuse ... up the road is another congregation 2 mins away - it was a church plant from our church a few years ago. (before we started attending). We knew this church was there held in the school but have never attended. Not that our church is too far 10 mins or so. It just gets me wondering if the grass is greener ...up the road ? A visit won't hurt maybe...

Saturday, 14 July 2007

Happy Birthday Josh & what might have been

today is M's nephew's 20th birthday.Last year, it was the date I was booked for a c section ... but it wasn't to be ... otherwise it would have been the boys' birthday too.

We went out last night out to a family birthday dinner with my SIL, Fil & wife and their in-laws (lovely people including one of brother-in-law's twin brothers), - the babies were so good but were so over being passed around by the end of the evening .There were about 20 of us including the babies.

Pauline, my SIL's mother-in-law - the mother of the 'twins' and BIL - is a lovely lady and tells me twin stories -with her three boys. It was lovely to see her again.

Maya Angelou & why do we blog ?

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”



I agree 'somewhat' with this quote also by Maya Angelou ... who I just happened upon again in my previous blog post - being lazy I wanted to add a quote I found on a card -except it had a different 'author'on the card.

Until the other day I had never heard of Maya Angelou ... till Kerry sent me this

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect..but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...
....
send this on and if nothing else...
you know that you are truly loved and thought of by the friend,
who sent this to you...
and that she only wishes the best for you and your life...

Anyway ... there are greater agonies ... bearing a child who never gets to live a life with you ... perhaps an untold story ... just like the quote says. A double meaning !

So why do we blog ...perhaps we all just want to make a mark and be remembered or thought of, or share something significant or even insignificant.

I admit I browse a few blogs now out of curiousity and also those of special people I care about.Also, another of a little girl who has been in intensive care for almost 3 months to pray for her. Blogs are an insight into other people's minds and lives. Plus I get good ideas for my own blogs.

A new book and birthday opens the door ...

to another year filled with the goodness of God.


Today, just now, I found my birthday present and card from my MIL (mother-in-law). I have had it there a while but was waiting till the day to open it. I thought about it this morning actually and couldn't remember if I had or not. I knew it was a book from the feel/shape of it.

Then I was tidying up the spare room and found it. It was a book ! He'll Be Okay Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good men.

After a quick skim and browse it seems interesting and perhaps exactly what I need. My relationship is sometimes grim with D (14 going on 30) and we clash every hour of the day except when we aren't in the same house LOL.

My dear MIL thrives on encouragement in the form of self help ... like the birthday or ? Christmas she gave me a dog training video and lead for the dog. She saves newspaper clippings and articles that she thinks we would benefit from reading. All done I know with our best interests at heart, albeit a little pointed and tad controlling.

Still I will have to email her and thank her for the book. DH should read it too... I will make him if I have too.

I wonder if she knows she signed the card ...love to T ...from Nana *she usually writes her name ... same as mine Pat - but I hate this abbreviation.

The card verse also read ...

May you have happiness today for what
He's done ...and a joyful heart for all that is yet to be !


So very true and I do.

I was thinking about my 40th birthday last year spent mostly at the hospital in special care nursery with my gorgeous newborns. I was discharged on 7th July - and we got home just before my birthday -near to midnight. Then we were back at hospital first thing in the morning Dh gave me the most gorgeous card from them which included the words

Dreams come true ... Always dream big

He wrote inside ...

To Mum

hope we made some of your dreams come true

love Samuel & Joel

They had !
I liked it so much we recycled it for this year ...since I knew he hadn't been shopping and so he had a card for me .So I packed it .Besides, I love it still too !

We spent most of the day at hospital last year and came home for a really quick birthday dinner which my dear Mum cooked. It was lovely but I only wanted to be back with my babies so it was eat and run. I didn't mind not having a proper celebration or party. Sometimes I want to forget I am 40 (oops 41) .If I wasn't so old, I would have more children.*sigh*

I sometimes shudder at why birthdays card are so expensive for a piece of coloured cardboard but then sometimes you find just the perfect one , that says words you could have written yourself ... and so you buy it for the feelings expressed. Hopeful the recipient reads and feels it too.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - not sure who wrote it -Bonnie Jean Wasmund or Maya Angelou

Friday, 13 July 2007

A milestone in movements ...

Sam did a semi-solid poo ... probably one of his first I have changed.Plus, I saw him grimacing and doing it. He had a weird look on his face but I knew what was happening.

Strange thing to blog but when you have had nothing but runny poo for 12 months from one son - it is a woo hoo. Still bright yellow - because he mainly survives on breastmilk.I hope it is the first of many lovely solid poos.

J does some lovely poos that roll off the cloth nappies and drop neatly into the loo - a cloth lovers dream. Lately, they have been all squishy and make splatters when I use the little squirt - all over the walls .ICKK !

Sorry no pictures ! But I am waiting on some fluffy mail ... berry plush when I decide a second choice colour ... no ocean blue : (.

Thursday, 12 July 2007

getting donations

today I madly tried to source a few donations for our fundraising BBQ (multiple birth club) and chased up donation request letters from last week.

The two local Woolworths both came good with $50 wish cards ... and told us within a day or two.Shamefully, and sadly the other major chain didn't even bother to get back to us or tell us and when we chased them up a week later ..sorry they have no money left in their budget and their financial year ends in 3 weeks. Try next time.

The Baker's Delight I chased up too. They said come tonight and they might do 'something'.

I had been waiting .Waiting for the council to approve our temporary food permit to make sure we could go ahead. We had submitted it last week.Another wait because the lady who does this was off . TW chased them up and ticked them off because it wasn't our problem she was off. Finally we got it today at the 11th hour.I was then in a rush to source a few more donations.

Another local butcher chain said outright NO ! Another store in the same chain were more helpful said to call the supervisor...giving me two mobile numbers.The first was wrong. The 2nd was the supervisor who said sorry but it had to go to a meeting to be decided and not for a month. Still not a strike out ... the next one maybe.

As I browsed the phone book I saw a butcher .M & A Butchery ... so I rang them. They said to call back in a few hours and ask the manager. This I did and he said yes, to my surprise. I then put everyone in the car and off we went. They gave us 2 kgs sausages . As I waiting for another young guy to fill the bags I was looking around. I noticed a 2nd man who resembled the 'boss' strikingly ... ahhh it all clicked - I said to him "are you a twin" he nodded "yes I am"and smiled... was an amazing coincidence. Thanks Dean & your twin brother.

I thought while I was there I should try the local village bakery just up the road.Horray..they said yes but come back in an hour near closing time. Not enough time to go home but a long wait. I had a quick visit with Bec and her gorgeous little B/G twins. Plus 3 lovely older boys.

The Wilberforce bakery then gave us 10 loaves of sliced bread ... beauty ! Worth the wait. This was a cold call too.

Great old fashioned generosity from a little semi - country village, Wilberforce ... one of five Macquarie towns established in early 1800's. Also, named in honour of William Wilberforce who led the abolition of slavery 200 years ago. (just a bit of trivia)

Tonight, one Baker's Delight gave us 4 loaves of wholemeal/wholegrain bread but not the white~ well I like it but TW turned up her nose and said we better ask the buyers (of snag sandwich before we give it out LOL - still it was free).The other Baker's Delight had closed by time I got there. I was feeling a bit sad ...and tad annoyed when I saw the girl behind the plastic shutter. I knocked and she beckoned me to corridor beside. They gave me 4 loaves of white. Great stuff!

So we did well ... only had to buy bag of ice $3.50 and another 45c (Woolworth's bill was $100.45) and we have enough sangers and bread for about 150 sandwiches. TW is chipping in a another 1.7 kg sausages too.Plus we got 24 water/76 cans soft drink in that Woolworths bill.Plus we spent another $20 on 60 sausages from another local butcher.

I hope it is a nice day tomorrow and everyone is hungry doing their hardware shopping at Bunnings.

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Sammy savours sucking sour citris

Yes, our boy wonder who hardly eats more than a sparrow ... spent 5 mins sucking on a sour lemon wedge ... no I am not a mean mum but it was keeping him quiet while I finished my birthday dinner (2 days late).
Now if I just get the proof ... I mean photo to download off my mobile phone.

Monday, 9 July 2007

Our Grandpa has a farm




... can't call him old (*though he is almost 80) and the McDonald's are my in -laws ...seriously.

Friday we spent half the morning getting packed to got to the new farm.There is so much stuff to take with twins, plus a 14yr and two parents and 2 highchairs, baby ride-on bikes, port a cot *we never even used).Lucky we were spared bringing all our food.

We had 2 motorbikes in the trailer we were taking to farm too - lucky we needed that spare space in the trailer. The trip there was about 390km. We didn't find the shortcut. We stopped for a brief KFC lunch in the park and yes... I fed them in the park , in the cool breeze and slightly damp ground . We finally arrived before dark after 5hrs.


This farm seems a mixture of all GT's (father in law) other farms stretching from Gloucester to Giralambone (near Nyngan). Gloucester being where he lived over 18years ago when I first met my future FIL. I smile as I remember my sweet innocence lost when we arrived for a weekend and I was asked by his wife (step) were we sleeping 'together'. I was so embarrassed . We didn't till we got married.That is another story.

Anyway, it was very picturesque with rolling green paddocks and hills in the distance. The old shearing shed complete with disco mirror ball and the old shearing gear (Shearing shed a bit like Giralambone 2001-2004 [8500acres] but smaller) and iron hut (a bit like the one at 'snow' property Shannon's Flat) , the hay shed minus any hay, the cows and some crops. GT hasn't had crops for a long time but the previous owner had planted them oats, barley and wheat.

The paddocks there are aptly named ... spring hill paddock, long paddock, 100 acre paddock, bush paddock (very rugged and rocky)... 1100 acres this time. NOT SO Much like Giralambone - the mine paddocks (read danger) AND OPEN PITS STILL). The old farm tips with broken down machinery,rubbish and junk.





Again, just like Giralambone and the rusty tractor left in the paddock where it broke down, by the look of it many years ago.



Even the house was so much like Giralambone in design, the doors like the doors in our old house too (so about 50 plus years old), 12ft ceilings,the wide front verandah and the view.Unlike any other the deep spearmint green bath.

There was a resident peacock too - a gorgeous fellow of many colours - beautiful blue.

I am sure D will make many memories there and maybe even the little boys will too one day. D loved riding his motorbike.We had my birthday too there a very quiet rainy day. Probably one of the first I haven't spoken to my mum on. We were going to go out for dinner but I knew FIL wasn't feeling 100%, and I hate country roads on rainy nights, so we stayed in.

The phone had been connected but then accidentally disconnected. Mobiles had patchy reception but I got a txt message from two friends. Another sent before one of them , was received the next day on the way home. I missed my Internet so much. I was just busy watching the babies didn't touch the slow combustion fire .Plus all that eating and drinking endless cups of tea.

M's uncle was staying there too, his son- (M's cousin) & partner visited on Saturday with their two boys, Jake 6 and Riley 2 - very cute too. They live in Narromine.

Monday we started packing to come home.Another long task but at least on way back you can chuck it all in anyhow. We left just after lunch and we found the short cut ... cutting 50-60 kms off the trip. Sam unfortunately had enough about hr from home.

He screamed and screamed , D screamed at him because he had enough and felt sick , we screamed at D not to scream at S, and J joined in sympathy. It all got too much so we had to pull over on the side of Bell's Line of road .I gave them both a quick feed. That worked briefly, then I still had to hang over the seat and try to distract S ... with the video camera to calm him down. There wasn't anywhere to stop properly so we 'soldiered' on. Pleased we made it home about 7.30pm. Weary but it was fun ... well a break and a kind of mini holiday.

This 'farm' is about 4hrs way if we find the shortcut ... better than Giralambone (8hrs) and closer than Coonabarabran (5.5hrs) and Bogarbri (up for sale but still has this one ~ we have never made it there).

Did I mention the wondrous rainbow we saw and the rain... thank you God and I hope it fell where it was most needed.

On a bittersweet note .... Happy 2nd Angel Birthday Charli ... my friend Tanya's little princess who was actually due on my birthday, 8th July 2005, but she passed away @ 39wks due to a cord accident.

I didn't know Tanya then. We met because of a 'Teddy' from Teddy Love club. Tanya and Jon since welcomed her lil bro,Sonny, into the world Sept 12th, 2006. A friend for S & J.

Thursday, 5 July 2007

Dr Seuss on Breastfeeding

do you like Dr Seuss ... I found this somewhere - seen it a few times.Today I went shopping and had to feed the babies twice ...my DS hates coming shopping (it takes so long when I finally get the chance) but the twin pram doesn't fit in some Parents rooms and I take up all the space if I do. So I feed where ever and I have no qualms about it ... so I had to share this too






LOVE Dr. Seuss….so when I ran across this poem for nursing moms that is written in the style of Dr. Seuss I had to publish it here. I hope all nursing moms can take it to heart and remember that breastfeeding is best for their baby…even if others would make us feel as though we are doing something wrong by doing it in public. It is a “natural” thing.


Little ones can squirm and pout
make a fuss and scream and shout
When hunger hits without a doubt,
Sit right down and whip them out.

I would nurse them if they cried,
I could nurse them far and wide,
Here and there or Up or down or on a chair.
For this fine milk is very rare!!!

Would you nurse them on a train?
Would you nurse them on a plane?
Would you nurse them in a car?
Would you nurse them in a bar?

Yes, on a train, yes on a plane.
Yes, in a car, yes in a bar.
I would nurse them here or there.
I would nurse them anywhere!

I would nurse them in a booth,On the stairs or near the roof.
Anywhere my boys cry out,
I pop the nummies in their mouth.
I can serve it by the ounce,I can serve it while I bounce.
In a bottle or in a jar,
I can serve from near or far.

Would you, could you nurse in church?
Would you on a shaky perch?
Would you, could you, in the stands?
Could you nurse them with no hands?
I would, I could nurse in church,
Even on a shaky perch.
In the stands, with no hands,I'll nurse my babies on demand.

Would you nurse them at the store?
Would you nurse them on the floor?
Would you nurse them on a ship?
Careful not to show your nip!
Would you nurse them while on skis?
Would you nurse them on your knees?
Would you nurse them in a tree?
Mummy milk's SO GOOD, you see.
Would you nurse them by the stream?You could nurse them while you dream.
Can you nurse and clean the house?
Can you nurse and chase a mouse?
Can you nurse and cook a meal?Mummy's milk is the real deal!
Would you nurse them while you sleep?
How about while you sweep?

Could you nurse them in a sling?
Would you, could you, while you sing?
How about upon a swing?
Mother's milk is just the thing!
Would you nurse them at the park?Would you nurse them in the dark?
Would you nurse them with a Boppy? (*brand of breastfeeding pillow)
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse them in the park,
I would nurse them in the dark.
I'd nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.
Can you nurse with your seatbelt on?Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though they may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse them 'till they're full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes them healthy, strong and smart,
Mummy's milk is the best start!
Would you nurse them at the game?Would you nurse them in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse them at the game.
I would nurse them in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have a perfect explanation.
Mummy milk is tailor made
It's perfect food, you need no aid.
Some may scoff and some may wriggle,Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast's the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that milk's the perfect food!
We make the right amount we need,The perfect temp for every feed.
There's no compare to milk from breast---
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mummy milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can't be beat.
I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.

I will not let my babies cry,
I'll meet their needs, I'll always try.
It's not about what's good for you,
It's best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse them in my home,
I will nurse them when I roam.
Leave me be lads, leave me be ma'am.
I will nurse them, Mum I am.
ps - a bit American but you get the message
author unknown.
pps -I have nothign against Americans.

I did get a few odd looks today but really who gives a **** (star - anagram) and one young couple 'snogging' on the courtesy chairs outside Best & Less certainly moved on ... as if I was doing anything more offensive them they were.
Snogging ... look it up if you don't know !

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Reflections ...little lives not a little loss

After the birthday party ... I was thinking about all the children missing from our celebrations
... there should have been another 10 children or more ... running around.

Nearly, all the children there have a 'sibling' that is a angel and two (4 & 6yrs) that I don't know about have lost a father recently.

My SIL had an early miscarriage & ectopic pregnancy (that we have never really spoken about but I am sure she knows the special dates) between my niece Maddy (9) and L (5).

My friend L with 3 daughters , lost an angel ~ 'harry'~@ 11-12 wks (Nov 2003) though the baby stopped growing a little earlier ...
~Aubrey~ July
~Annelise ~ Nov 2000
~ Ella ~ Sept 2003
~William~ Apr 2004
~Charlotte~ Sept 2004
~Joseph~ Jan 2005
~Charlize~ July 2005
(and a few other early miscarriages amongst these)
who would be from almost 2 to 7 years.All loved, precious children and forever in our hearts ... and dreams of what should have been ...no candles on cakes, no party hats only bittersweet memories etched in our souls and burned in our hearts.

The wondrous thing is all of these children have siblings born after they passed away.Never to replace though the interval between their births is very slim in most cases ... not what we would have planned perhaps ... not that we planned to say goodbye!
Loving memories of ones so dear,
Treasured still with a love sincere,
In our hearts they are living yet,
We loved them too dearly to forget.

We will always just wonder what they would have been like at the same ages.

Sunday, 1 July 2007

Happy 1st Birthday

happy birthday Samuel & Joel
...our precious little baby boys ... not so little now but always going to be our babies.

I had to get the post in at midnight ...though they are '12 months ' - 1 year old officially at 12.51pm and 12.52pm.

We had a wonderful day with our family and many special friends. The weather was perfect and it all went smoothly. We organised to hold it at my brother's home because the weather being so unpredictable. We had no outside undercover storage. They had lots of room and 1 acre plus undercover.

Someone commented later to me that when my FIL saw all the kids (eventually 25 including all the babies from 4 months to David 14) that he was leaving early ... then he didn't. He said how well behaved all the kids were and they were. Honestly , a great bunch of kids.

The pinata was the biggest "hit" with the big kids and even the 2 -4 years had a ball trying to smash it . Next year I will attempt to make my own.It was fun.

Our cake ... Joel just wanted to get his hands on those drum sticks.

We took two cars piled high with,chairs, outdoor gas heaters, highchairs/plastic play gyms (another hit with littlest), toy cars,baby trikes and food ... glorious food. Mum helped with meatballs, pizza bits and yummy pumpkin soup.

We also had usual party pies, sausage rolls, savory triangles, fairy bread, choc crackles, dips, biscuits, sandwiches, chicken wings & legs and sausage sandwiches.

I hope everyone took lots of photos for me ... I want to make the boys a scrapbook & memory album so we can remember. I don't think next year will be as big - not for a long while.It was a very special day.

It really was our first , 1st birthday for children 3 &4 ... Charlotte's though we celebrated very quietly wasn't as we imagined or planned in our dreams...

Thank you to many friends travelled a distance to share our day Tiffany,David and their 7 lovely children from Hunter Valley... such lovely & beautiful children who shared their pinata 'loot' equally amongst them and even handed out a few other lolly pops to another little girl.

Liss & Derek from Southern highlands- who somehow didn't get the emailed invitation and came the long way via our house and then work, then called M for the address ... that was a bit of a downer but we were so pleased to see them.

Our delightful niece Bec and SIL Kim who flew down from Queensland especially ...

thank you to everyone and to my SIL Sharon & Mum for all your help with serving food and getting everything ready.

Ps the presents were great guys ... we can't wait to play, I mean S & J , with them and to wear them - they are going to look 'hot' - or if you rather 'cool '.
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