Friday, 1 July 2005

The babyquest has begun...

Today is a momentous day we (note plural) started our stimulation injections to grow the egg(s) that could become our maybe baby (or babies)
At almost 39 this is our last chance to the baby we desire.
Our adopted son was already 13 months when received his blessing in our lives.But we missed his infancy.
Our precious daughter , first little girl ~Charlotte Rose~ sadly didn't make it past six months in the womb.She passed away and I found out at routine Obstetrician appointment on 30th August , confirmed by ultrasound . Charlotte was born still 1st September 2004 -her story is HERE.
They couldn't tell us why and I will never stop going over it in my head - oh how I wish I had some answers.I don't want it to happen again.

We tried to conceive again very hard IYKWIM but nothing happened.So OBG referred me to IVF.

Our first appointment for IVF was made on 21st March for May 12th 2005.I had to wait 52 days.

We were given the go ahead and a few routine tests were ordered.Sonohysterogram for me on 18th May and Sperm analysis for DH.

After AF - I started Birth control Pill on Saturday 28th May - quite ironic since we seem to be infertile but actually for controlling (hate that word) my menstrual cycle.

I commenced sniffing Synarel a drug to suppress ovulation on 16th June.Now I live my live in 12hr intervals. Sniffing everywhere I go - at the correct time - including the hospital toilet and church toilet.

Then Thursday 23rd June my world came crashing down .I had a phone call from IVF Dr who ordered my sonohysterogram (SHG) reviewed my results (5wks later)- re blocked tubes and fluid dilating them. He said I could not go ahead with this IVF cycle until I have laproscopy -to A.clip my tubes or B. completely remove them- as fluid leaking out can prevent embryo implanting. I was very very upset.

After, he said he was cancelling me and I might have to wait 6 wks or longer before I could have the lap (assuming public) and re-start all over. I asked if I could it done sooner as I told him I had private Health Ins. and he said he could call Dr associated with Fertility Centre and if done by Friday 1st (when I am due to start stimulation injections) - keep going with this cycle.

He called her (Dr) for me and then I called (but spoke only to her lovely secretary/rec). After some quick talking I managed to get on DR’s full list for Wednesday for laproscopy to do A. or B. Private .I heard the secretary explaining it to DR –how DH & I had all our holidays booked etc and already started.

So new Dr squeezed me onto her list and started earlier , I was 2nd on list which was good as I had all day to recover. I also had my own private room and didn’t have to stay in day surgery bit – because Dr wasn’t sure if I needed to stay overnight when I was booked in.

I didn’t mention when the Nurse called to do phone pre-admission questions on Tuesday she said I was staying overnight depending on whether they removed my OVARIES – I said WHAT I haven’t consented for that – she said oh’ that’s right - bilateral Salpingostomy or salpingectomy - removal of fallopian tubes.

Then when we got to admissions Wednesday morning –they had my notes but someone else’s name on admission card . So, the admin lady changed it. In day surgery waiting room I opened my new Readers digest and 1st story I read was ‘18,000 people year die from “adverse events” in our hospitals…(in AUST) Of course I had to read it on through ….500,000 people are harmed – talk about fear !!! I felt like a drama Queen but seriously I was so scared. I showed my DH and he shrugged his shoulders

Upstairs as I was getting ready to go for op –my DH noticed the wrong sticky labels on bag, and I checked thru the paperwork- half the notes had the same other name (no consent forms though) – we showed the nurse and she took it to change them, then had a whinge about when I insisted on checking for myself –said it wasn’t her fault but someone on the ward. SO I told everyone that I came into contact with I AM NOT HAVING MY OVARIES REMOVED - they must have thought I was crazy. My Blood pressure was already high on admission 153/80 .

All week I'd been so scared. But I was determined to go ahead as I have come too far already –waiting over 5 months. It went well but still hadn’t seen DR by 3pm and I was beside myself because no one would tell me what they actually did - “Blah your Dr will be in to explain it soon” –and asked again but they weren’t sure when DR was coming. A few hours later by 5pm I ended up in tears and spat the dummy because I was afraid they were hiding something from me .They also couldn’t tell me if was going home. They were also watch my PV bleeding – and this had me worried also.

I ended up asking for Nursing Supervisor to come and see me. She did and STILL SAID SHE COULDN’T TELL ME but would call Dr. and get her to call me if she wasn’t coming in. Finally DR did about 7pm – apologising that she had a busy day , her op list, interrupted after me by emergency c/s twins, and so on.I understood.
But She had good news – though she did remove my diseased right tube but L tube was ok and I didn’t have a bi-cornuate uterus but just fibroids distorting it slightly and some other ‘cobwebs’ like things which she removed. I was so relieved but can’t believe the nurses didn’t tell me it was okay and I had nothing to worry about. I feel like my life over last 10 months has been - 'shifting' deck chairs on the Titanic' but hopefully get off bl**dy ship now.
Today I am still a bit sore but so happy … because I start Puregon stimulation injections.

Today is the most important so far in our journey.

It was easy.After the nurse explained it all I was ready to go. The needle didn't hurt but medication 'Puregon' had a slight sting.So we are officially cooking the baby eggs.I say we because my Dh will have to support my moodiness and general feeling crappy due to side effects of medications. Tomorrow I get to it again for next 6 days till my next appointment and a blood test.
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